


Wicked game

by mimillekoishi



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Eventual Romance, F/F, Kinda but not really, My First Smut, Pavlov's conditioning experiment, Principal Lexa/student Clarke, S&M, Some sort of hate sex, Stockholm Syndrome, Teacher-Student Relationship, in a state of mind way not a BDSM play way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-19 14:49:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 56,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4750328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimillekoishi/pseuds/mimillekoishi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is a sadistic brat that is decided to have Lexa for herself.</p><p>I suck at summaries, sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My dear principal

**Author's Note:**

> Oooookaaaaay so like the tag said : this is my first smut.  
> Don't ask me where it came from.  
> Usually I'm good at writing comedy and dialogues. In this, no humor nor real dialogues. So yeah basically I don't know if it's good or not so... PLease tell me guys
> 
> I'm french so if there are mistakes,  
> Because someone pointed it out, I want to say that what I'm describing here is completely illegal and well do not reproduce it in real life ? Dunno how to formulate this but just- Keep in mind that this thing is, hopefully, a pure fiction.
> 
> Plus because someone else pointed out something else : this story is NOT about BDSM and it is NOT picturing what BDSM is. This is the story of two characters with weird personalities and habits. Nothing more.
> 
> (can't belive I'm saying this but...) hope you'll enjoy !

“Clarke this is wrong.”

“No more wrong than the usual”

“Clarke the parents of a bullied child will be there in ten minutes. We-Mhmm“ Lexa’s word changed into a moan when her student’s lips bit her ear. “Clarke we can’t !” she insisted. As if it could somehow stop her assailant.

The blonde pulled back, her blue eyes dark and a mischievous, devilish grin on her face “Alright make me stop”

Lexa rolled her eyes “Clarke get out of my office. I know you’re supposed to be in science right now.”

Clarke faked a pout “But you’re wearing a skirt… a really tight, black, leather skirt… accompanied by its two best friends-“ she pulled at Lexa’s tights, her bottom lip between her teeth “You practically asked for it…” added the girl, slipping both of her hands under the material of Lexa’s skirt, slowly trailing her hands up the principal’s thighs.

Lexa unceremoniously chased Clarke out of her lap and stood from her armchair, adjusting her skirt. She put some order on her desk nervously and tried again “Clarke they will be there in a minute, go back to class.”

That’s when the blonde slowly wrapped her arms around the woman’s waist from behind, pressing one of her thighs into Lexa’s bottom.

Of course the girl wouldn’t just go and live her alone…

The woman grabbed the edge of her desk when Clarke started kissing the nape of her neck, unbuttoning the collar of her shirt.

A strangled, meant to be a warning, ‘Clarke’ escaped Lexa’s mouth and the blonde grinned wider.

“I told you to make me stop but you’re still there, letting me do everything I want. Be honest-” Lexa swallowed, Clarke had pushed her into the desk, pressing against her ass harder, her hands slowly descending to the brunette’s hips and thighs “You love that, don’t you ?”

Lexa closed her eyes and somehow managed to answer with words “I’m waiting for someone.”

But then Clarke bit her ear again, harder, and a low, husky hum uncontrollably resounded in Lexa’s throat.

At that, a knock echoed in the room followed by Anya’s voice “Miss Wilde, Charlotte’s parents are there”

Lexa’s eyes opened wide, heart freezing in her chest and Clarke repressed a laugh.

“Hide ! Now !” the woman ordered, as discreetly as she could, buttoning up her shirt, and untying her hair in an attempt to conceal the mess that her face probably was.

Clarke rapidly looked around her searching a place to hide but for the first time in three month she realised how empty Lexa’s office was. She rolled her eyes. Lexa and her phobia of dust… She threw herself under the massive wooden desk and Anya knocked again.

“Yes, please come in” Lexa quickly sat back on her chair, kicking Clarke further under the desk, earning a whispered ‘Ouch !’. Lexa wouldn’t admit it out loud but she found that sound satisfying. ‘You had it coming’ she thought.

Anya opened the door and the parents entered the room. Lexa stood, extending her hand “Mr and Mrs Dubois. As much as I appreciate meeting with my student’s parents, I wish we weren’t here today for such a terrible reason. Please have a seat.” She motioned to the two chairs in front of the desk and the parents sat. Lexa hesitated a second before sitting back on her chair too and she prayed, pleaded all the gods she knew for Clarke to behave.

But if there was something Lexa should’ve learned by now it was that Clarke never behaved. It was not even sure that this word figured into the girl’s dictionary. Already an enthusiastic smirk was spreading on the blonde’s face when the brunette threw a rapid look under the piece of furniture.

“Mrs Wilde, thank you for seeing us.”

Lexa gave the man a small humble nod “It is normal Mr. It is my first priority to ensure that my students are happy in my establishment. Please tell me about Charlotte.”

The principal suddenly straightened her back when she felt her left high heeled shoe being slowly removed and light delicate fingers traced the curves from her foot to her calf. A tingle in her earlobe made her nervously adjust her hair, now overly self-conscious of the mark Clarke had probably deliberately left. Her heart rate got up in a second. _What if they already saw…_

But hopefully, the parents seemed completely oblivious.

“One day a month ago, Charlotte came back home in tears, blue paint all over her clothes”

When Clarke started to trail kisses along her leg Lexa stiffly shifted in her seat, crossing her legs in hope that somehow it could protect her from the worst.

“And when we asked her what had happened she refused to tell us. Then her stuff started to disappear without reason and her marks dropped”

Lexa opened the young girl’s file in front of her to confirm what she already knew. Or to be honest, occupy her mind and hands, just concentrate on something different than the delicious feeling of Clarke’s wet lips on her shin. That’s the moment the blonde chose to resume one of her previous ministrations : pulling up Lexa’s skirt. The blonde’s hands on her thighs made Lexa blackout for a second, lost in thoughts, silence prayers and pleas in hope that somehow Clarke would miraculously stop. When she came back to reality both parents were looking at her expectantly.

“Are you alright Mrs Wilde ? Your face seems red.”

Lexa’s heart skipped a beat, the fear of the couple finding out flooding her mind. Eventually she smiled at the worried mother in front of her “Yes. Must be the remnants of my cold. Don’t worry it’s nothing. Now did she gave you names or descriptions ?”

As the man started to list names, the principal felt something poke her knee so she rapidly threw a look under her desk. Clarke was holding a small pink post-it saying ‘uncross your thighs’. Her eyes widened for a second before falling back on the parents. ‘In your dreams !’ she thought. “I see” she said with a nod even if she hadn’t listened to a single syllable the father had pronounced.

“I think… I think she mentioned a certain Kevin but I’m not sure” the woman said and the blonde poked Lexa’s knee again.

‘Uncross your legs or I get out from under this desk’ The thought of it sent a shiver down Lexa’s spine. The only reason she had let Clarke do what she wanted was because the girl actually had proofs, proofs that could send her to jail in the blink of an eye if people knew about them. Clarke’s family was rich. Clarke’s parents were overprotective but most of all, Clarke was 17. Clarke was a student. And Lexa was her 26 year old principal. Every time she summarized the situation the brunette couldn’t help but think about how wrong this whole thing was. Lexa quickly listed the pros and cons. Well if you can call this a list considering the only thing she could think about was that Clarke had nothing to lose in this mess. She had just a few words to say to the police to destroy Lexa’s entire life.

The principal momentarily closed her eyes, slowly uncrossing her trembling legs, already regretting what was about to happen. To distract her she said “I would like to discuss this with her in person if it is possible”

“I don’t know if she would want to meet with you… She barely talks to us I… I…” The mother had started crying and Lexa extended an arm to hand her the tissue box.

Guilt then filled the brunette. She’d feel better walking naked in front of the statue of liberty than right now in her office, her legs opened for Clarke to shamelessly stare. Lexa didn’t know what triggered it but her heart started to hammer so hard against her ribcage she was sure that if silence fell, even the parents might be able to hear it. Maybe it was the fear of being busted. Or the guilt of feeling sexually aroused right in front of an emotionally crumbling mother. Or maybe just the anticipation and the lack of actions from Clarke, eliciting the worst kind of frustration deep inside her, the kind that shouldn’t be allowed by the law.

At this point she felt too hot. She could get rid of her jacket but… She would feel even more bare and vulnerable. She could stand and open the window but she didn’t trust her legs. All she could do was literally melt in her seat. Or maybe even melt the chair at the same time, who knows ? She could already feel her blood boil into her veins after all.

Finally Clarke touched her but not in the way she expected. She had just poked at her knee again. When Lexa looked under the desk she saw the devilish smile of Clarke and a single word on the post-it.

‘Spread’

The brunette felt a wave of warmth run through her already way too hot body. She couldn’t believe that she was actually grateful that the woman in front of her was loudly crying, loudly enough to cover the shaky breath that escaped her nose. It was the point of no return. The exact moment Lexa gave up. Satisfying Clarke so that she could be over with this torture as soon as possible became her only goal.

She rested her elbows on the desk, raising her hands to rest her lips on them, and somehow hide at least a good half of her face. She shifted on her chair to sit on the very edge. And she spread. She couldn’t find in her the strength to look at what she knew was between her legs, Clarke’s victorious smirk.

“I’m… I’m sorry principal… It’s just…”

“Yes it’s still our baby after all. It’s unbearable for us to watch her suffer so much while not being able to do anything…”

Clarke had started to lightly run a finger along Lexa’s inner thigh and the brunette barely heard her own words behind the pounding of her pulse in her ears “Of course. I understand your f-“ she stopped midsentence when Clarke, in a quick movement, had grazed the front of her underwear with her fingertip. Hopefully Lexa managed to regain enough composure to clear her throat and make her previous stuttering for a proof of her emotional state. Emotional state brought by Charlotte’s affair of course. “I understand your feeling and I guarantee you that I will do all I can to help your daughter.”

Lexa was almost proud of herself when she released a breath after ending her sentence without any more strange reactions despite Clarke’s now two fingers pressed against her crotch. Clarke’s digits were gently caressing the lace of Lexa’s underwear. When the blonde started to kiss and suck her inner thighs, the brunette awkwardly failed to keep her hips from bucking, drawing the attention of the parents.

“Are you sure you feel alright Mrs ? Your face is really flushed, you might have a fever”

“Maybe you should call a doctor. We can postpone this meeting if you wan-“

“NO !” the word came out harsher, angrier, louder than expected. Of course Clarke had had to push the lace aside and touch the now dripping area directly. Sorry to have startled the worried couple in front of her, Lexa clarified “It will not be necessary. We are nearly finished anyway.”

The man nodded “Sorry to bother you with that but… Charlotte really is a nice child. Hard working and-“

Lexa’s ears went deaf when without prior notice two fingers made their way inside her. The brunette was internally pleading Clarke to stop, because ‘ _they will know, we’ll get busted please Clarke stop that…’_ But of course the only response from the blonde was a curl and a pull and Lexa jumped.

Clarke started to slowly move in and out, curling her fingers inside every so often and Lexa had to gather all the concentration she had in her to restrain her hips from following the way too pleasant motion.

Now Lexa could clearly feel her inner walls uncontrollably clench around Clarke and all she could think about was how suspect her behaviour or the expression on her face might be and how it was only a question of time before ‘ _they find out’_. When the blonde’s lips softly kissed her clit, Lexa’s hips bucked again and her toes curled. “I um-“ She raised a hand to hush the annoying rambling of the man in front of her. “I don’t-“ Clarke added teeth to the equation and Lexa swallowed a moan “I don’t feel so well after all… I think I need to call a doctor” Her fists clenched at the feeling of the blonde’s tongue wrapped around the bundle of nerves while her fingers were still thrusting in and out of her as if they had done that their whole life, as if two fucking oblivious strangers weren’t standing awkwardly on the other side of the desk.

“You really do look feverish… Do you want us to call an ambulance or someone ?”

Lexa hated the woman in that moment. Hated her for being so nice, for being such a good, caring mother, for standing in her office while Clarke was secretly eating her under her desk.

“No, thank you” When Clarke sucked hard and pushed even deeper inside her, Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose “I- I’ll just call from here don’t worry. I’ll just ask you to leave the room. I’ll take an appointment with Charlotte and talk about all of this with her directly.” A third finger was the last thing Lexa needed to chase those stupid parents out of her office “Now would you please leave ? I need to call the doctor. You know the way to the door.” Her words came out harsh and hurried but she couldn’t care less, she needed them out. Now. Far away from this office as quickly as possible.

“O- Of course. Come on Lisa let’s go” they both bowed their heads, saying their goodbyes.

God how slow they were ! For Lexa they were walking in slow-motion. _Where the fuck did they learned to be so polite ! YES I’ll be alright ! Now get the fucking hell OUT OF HERE !_

When the door of her office closed, her eyes rolled back in her skull to the point it hurt and her hips suddenly bucked against Clarke’s face, earning a surprised moan from the girl.

That’s only when she heard the door of the corridor close that the tension left Lexa’s body that curled on itself, and a strangled, half gasped half moaned ‘Clarke’ escaped her mouth as she came. All the tension and excitement that she had been accumulating since the moment Clarke passed her door flood out of her body as her inner muscles clenched, sucking Clarke inside her, fluttering around her fingers with each wave of pleasure.

Slowly her orgasm faded, living her dazzled and deaf, her body only jumping with aftershocks as Clarke was removing her hand from between her thighs and cleaning Lexa’s overflowing juices with her tongue.

The brunette finally leaned on the back of her chair, head back and eyes closed, her hands gripping the armrests while she was trying to calm her beating heart and uneven breath. Guilt and shame were sinking back in her skin and while her body was content her heart was breaking apart and she held back a sob.

Clarke raised from between the woman’s thighs and, straddled Lexa’s lap again.

“Look at me.” She commanded in a low husky voice but the brunette didn’t move. The blonde grabbed the back of the woman’s head with her left hand, pulling at her hair harshly, forcing Lexa to look at her. The woman then finally looked at Clarke, eyes full of rage and she frowned angrily. Clarke just smirked. The blonde rested her still dripping, slippery fingers on the principal’s lips, hissing “Lick.” Lexa turned her head in refusal. Clarke’s hand left brown locks to firmly grab the woman’s jaw, pressing on the cheeks with her thumb and index finger to force the mouth to open. When finally the jaw gave up at the pain, Clarke stuffed two fingers into Lexa’s mouth “Now lick, and watch your teeth…” she ordered, eyes black and condescension painting her face.

Lexa gave in and sucked, tasting herself, tracing every curves of Clarke’s fingers, the edges of her short nails and she failed to repress a whimper. Clarke’s smirk came back instantly “Better” she praised. When the brunette lifted her hands to put them on the girl’s hips, the blonde brutally buried her fingers downs Lexa’s throat, making her choke “Careful Mrs Wilde… You’re my toy not the opposite. No touching.”

Finally Clarke took her fingers out, bending forward. Her lips brushing Lexa’s ear she whispered “The truth Principal, is that you love it when your 17 year old student fuck you in front of other people !”

“It’s not t-“ Lexa had angrily started to argue but Clarke cut her, sealing the brunette’s lips in a childish motion with a single finger.

“Shh Mrs Wilde. You should show the example and stop lying” the blonde pressed her hips into the woman’s “You’re a fucking masochist Lexa and you know it ! You love the thrill, love how wrong it feels and your body begs for more”

The woman’s body tensed in anger and she opened her mouth to talk again but Clarke pulled her into a bruising kiss, forcing her tongue inside her mouth. A wave of rage submerged the woman and she bit down until an iron taste filled her mouth. The blonde took her bloody tongue out with a chuckle and pulled back. Lexa’s eyes were watering in anger when Clarke gently cupped one of her cheeks. Smiling wickedly, voice low she said “You’re beautiful when you hate me Lexa…”

The bell rang and Clarke placed a quick peck on the woman’s lips before jumping out of her lap like a kid. “End of the day Mrs Wilde. Gotta go if I don’t want my mom to scold me.” She ran to the door and before closing it she sent kiss to Lexa. Winking she added lightly “See you soon, my dear principal !”

And she disappeared, leaving Lexa collapsed in her chair, tears in her eyes, blood in her mouth, rage in her every cells at the thought of the girl that makes her weak, and a void in her chest, extending with each footstep tearing Clarke away from her.


	2. Impolite brat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some background and character developpement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so no smut there guys. Hope you still like it though.

Lexa sighed “Why are you still here Clarke ?”

“How do you do that ?” The blonde said, collapsing on one of the two uncomfortable chairs in front of Lexa’s desk.

Without lifting her gaze from the pile of paper she was scribbling, she answered “Do what ?”

“Knowing that it’s me. You didn’t look at me or anything and I wasn’t that loud”

“I don’t know. Footsteps maybe ?” The truth was that every time Clarke was around a terrible premonition would tug at Lexa’s insides uncomfortably. Already she was stressing out. Clarke never came at her without purpose. And her usual purposes were not the kind Lexa was normally looking for.

“Weeeeirdoooo !” Chanted the blonde, resting her heels on the desk, finally earning a look from the woman.

“Take your dirty shoes out of my desk.” She calmly asked, looking at the blonde over her glasses.

“Or what ?” Clarke asked tentatively, biting her lip, playing with a strand of her hair and Lexa’s heart skipped a beat.

The woman sighed again “You know what ?” She sat back in her chair “Nothing. I could punish you but you don’t give a fuck about it do you ? I could slap you, do what, apparently, your parents haven’t done but I love my life enough not to throw it away for a brat like you. So yes. I can’t do anything. Now can you please tell me why you are in my office when the last late classes have been over for at least half an hour ?”

Clarke stood, and shrugged “My mom forgot me.” Nonchalantly she walked to Lexa and the woman rolled her chair as far away from her desk as the wall behind allowed her. At that Clarke smirked and sat on the desk, giving the poor principal a heart attack. The sumptuous equilibrium Lexa had managed to put into this pile of files wouldn’t survive a minute next to Clarke. And of course the blonde knew that. Clarke’s every actions were calculated, programmed, and Lexa knew it.

The blonde’s smirk dropped only to be replaced by bored expression and she shrugged again “She has work after all.”

Eyes jumping from the pile of files to the girl on her desk, Lexa asked “What do you want from me Clarke ?”

The blonde’s usual devilish smirk was back on her face “Oh Lexa… You know why I’m here… I’m pretty sure your underwear are ruined already !” She had whispered the last part with a large toothy grin and the bad feeling deep inside Lexa’s stomach intensified. Seeing the woman in front of her literally act like a poor scared bunny, Clarke burst out laughing. Then she stood slowly grabbing Lexa’s right hand, taking it to her lips. Without breaking eye contact, she languorously kissed the inside of her wrist. Slowly she trailed her way to the hand, gently kissing the palm then the smooth fingertips. She grinned widely when Lexa’s cheeks flushed and… Let her hand fall unceremoniously, sitting back on the desk, grabbing a file from the pile and opening it. “Kidding.”

“Don’t you dare touching that !” in an instant Lexa was on her feet and retrieved the file from Clarke’s hands.

The blonde took advantage of the sudden closeness to grab Lexa’s jaw and kiss her. But it wasn’t sweet, it wasn’t gentle, it was burning and again Lexa’s insides screamed. When she pulled back she leaned closer to the woman and brought her lips to the brunette’s ear “Hissing doesn’t suit you my cute little puppy.” She pulled back again, her hand leaving the shocked woman’s jaw only to undo the first button of the brunette’s shirt.

Lexa exhaled loudly. She had work to do, the files on her desk could fall any moment and Clarke was apparently firmly decided to ruin her entire day. She had hoped for a moment that she wouldn’t meet the blonde today, that this day, unlike the others, could be a cool, calm, normal, good day. And it had been a good day. Until now. When the last bell rang her whole being screamed ‘YES !’ in victory. But of course the blonde had to be there even after classes. Of course Clarke would haunt her. Of course. And Lexa hated that. Hated this fear tugging at her insides when she was in the school. Everywhere her eyes were searching for the blonde to avoid her but somehow every time Clarke managed to take her by surprise. But what she hated the most was the uncomfortable warmth settling in her belly whenever Clarke’s voice were grazing her ears.

To Lexa’s surprise, when Clarke undid the second button she just patted the brunette’s chest in a satisfied “Better.” Before pushing her on the side to have the space to stand. Finally Lexa could breathe again. Breathe an air that wasn’t saturated in Clarke’s smell, breath a clean air, pure and without meaning, an air devoid of promises Lexa feared.

“I have a test tomorrow. Not that I need it but I should reread my notes. In case, you know, my genius failed to work somehow, which is, let’s be honest, impossible.”

The deafening silent that followed Clarke’s too casual sentence dragged Lexa out of her thoughts. She cleared her throat and asked again “Then WHY are you still here ?”

“Take me home.”

“No.” Lexa was categorical. Clarke would NEVER be allowed to sit in her car. NEVER.

“Do it.” Clarke’s voice was commanding but not intimidating for once and it startled the brunette.

Lexa softened “Take the bus.”

“Hate the bus.”

“I have work…” she said earnestly. She DID have work. A lot.

“I can wait.” The blonde let herself collapse on a chair again, putting her headphones on her ears.

Lexa distrustfully, carefully sat back at her desk. Clarke would eventually get bored and go home on her own at some point. Plus, she didn’t have the time to argue. She started scribbling papers, pages after pages. The usual ‘grading papers’ session. In normal condition, she liked this part of her work. But right now she was distracted. Something felt wrong. Something felt wrong when nothing was and Lexa wondered why. Clarke was lost in her music and cell phone, like any other bored teen. So why was the brunette feeling so uncomfortable ? After a while she noticed she had been reading and rereading the same equation an alarming amount of time. It wouldn’t work. She needed those corrections to be done for tomorrow and she couldn’t work correctly with Clarke in the same room.

“What are you doing ?”

Lexa had stood and started tidying up her desk, putting the tests she was trying to correct in her suitcase “Taking those at home.”

The blonde frowned “I can wait you know ? My mom will probably stay out late so go on, work here.”

“I can’t.”

As if Lexa had just switched a button, Clarke’s almost concerned expression changed into her very own personal smirk “Oh maybe I’m distracting you ?”

“You are. I feel like I have to hurry because you’re waiting and I hate that. I need to be concentrated. My pupils deserve the best teaching I can offer.”

Slowly, Clarke stood, freeing her ears, grinning in a way that made Lexa shiver “So professional. Feeling bad for our little game last week ?”

The woman swallowed “Yes. It was unacceptable. Now out.” She motioned for the door with a nod.

Then something really weird, surreal, happened. Clarke smiled. A real smile, one reflecting her age and thoughts and Lexa was aback “Oh you’re taking me home then ? Great !” At the woman’s unexpected silence, the blonde cocked her head to the side, asking “Principal ?”

Lexa shook her head, repeating to herself that the smiling girl was Clarke. Clarke never smiled. Not like that. Not for her. “Yes. Get out now.”

Clarke skipped lightly to the corridor, humming something Lexa didn’t recognized and she couldn’t help but feel suspicious. It wasn’t normal. Not for Clarke.

“Where do you live ?” asked the woman, closing her office.

“You know where I live. You read my file.”

Lexa started walking to the corridor hurriedly. She wanted to be over with this as fast as she could. “No. I read a street name and a number but I do not know where you live.”

Clarke shrugged “Well, tonight you’ll know”

Subtext ? Lexa wasn’t sure. It didn’t sound weird or suspicious but… With Clarke you never know. She would stay on her guard.

“Right.”

The whole way to Lexa’s car, Clarke hummed happily, and Lexa wondered why she was so afraid of that girl after all. Then memories flashed into her mind. ‘ _Do not trust Clarke’_.

Outside of the building, on the parking, Clarke ran to Lexa’s car, jumping around it in excitement.

Lexa snorted, a smile tugging at her lips and she surprised herself.

She shook her head again in attempt to concentrate on the only certitude she had ‘ _Do not trust Clarke’_.

Lexa pressed the button on her car keys and Clarke hurried to jump onto the passenger seat, as if the car could just go away on its own. Calmly, the woman put her suitcase on the backseat before taking her place. Clarke’s belt was already buckled and she was looking at Lexa expectantly, for what, the brunette couldn’t tell. She turned on the car, and followed Clarke’s directions.

After a minute or two the blonde asked “Isn’t that a big car for you alone ?”

It was. But when she had bought it, Lexa was not alone. “Not really. I have siblings. When I need to take them somewhere, a three places backseat and a big trunk are not too much.”

Clarke looked utterly and genuinely surprised, curious “You have siblings ?”

Lexa thought about fighting, telling the girl that it was none of her business, but she knew she’d lose in the end. It was always like that. It had always been. If Clarke wanted to go under her skin she could do it, with or without Lexa’s consent, so what’s the point in arguing when the result is certain ?

“I have three little brothers. Triplets. Real tornados. Good kids but they play football. Means that once a week I have to take them home from the stadium and their bags are awfully big. I don’t even know what they put in there !” Once again Lexa got startled by her own words and behaviour. She was almost smiling. Almost sharing. Hesitantly she threw a look at the girl on the passenger seat. Clarke was staring at her like a kid waiting for a tale and again Lexa felt a spark of affection light in her chest and barely managed to repress it. How ? How could this girl be the same Clarke that had been sexually harassing her for the past two month ?

“For a car transporting sportive boys, it’s surprisingly clean.”

“Of course. I vacuum it every week.”

Clarke laughed. It was not mean, not empty, not cold, not piercing, just a laugh “Of course. Why am I even surprised ? You and your cleaning obsession !”

Lexa wasn’t obsessed. She didn’t like dirt, that’s all.

The brunette stopped her car, suddenly realising where she was “Clarke, you led me to a fast food…”

“I know. I’m hungry. Drive-in is fine.”

Lexa rolled her eyes but obeyed. She was there already. Why not ?  After they had left the fast-food, Clarke started opening the paper bag but the woman stopped her “Not in my car.”

“Then stop the car.”

Lexa couldn’t believe it. Who the hell raised that girl !? “Just eat at home !”

“Mom would kill me if she knew. Please ?”

The last word pierced Lexa’s chest. She sighed in defeat. Clarke had never pleaded before. Never.

“Fine. Wait a minute there’s a square not so far.”

They stopped in the square and sat at a bench. Clarke ate in silence, leaving Lexa some time to look at her. The girl seemed suddenly very small. And young. Normal. Clarke was a brat with no manners or sense of authority. A banal delinquent. But there was something else, something underneath Lexa couldn’t quite decipher. And she cursed at herself when she realised she got curious. Nothing good could come out of this. Nothing. Lexa would just wait for Clarke to grow tired of her and finally leave her. ‘ _Do not trust Clarke’_. The more she repeated herself those words, the less they seemed justified.

“Loving what you’re looking at ?”

The voice dragged Lexa out of her daze and she stood “You’re finished ? Good. In the car now.” Clarke stood and obeyed but Lexa stopped her “Wait. Your waste. In the trash.” Clarke groaned loudly but surprisingly did as said.

“Happy ?” she asked with a face “Good. Now take me home.”

Lexa rolled her eyes at the bossy, not at all convincing tone.

Finally after ten minutes of a not as uncomfortable silence as Lexa had expected, they arrived at Clarke’s home. All lights were off. The house was as big as her own family home. The garden was in a perfect state. Everything reeked of money and somehow it explained a lot of things.

“So. That’s my stop.” Clarke jumped out of the car. She started walking to her home without a word then stopped “Ah ! I almost forgot !” She ran back to Lexa, reopening the car door she had just closed, jumping in the vehicle. In an instant, her left hand was in Lexa’s hair, pulling her head back, exposing the delicate skin of the woman’s neck.

Lexa’s cervical was screaming and she groaned in pain “Clarke what are you-!” The rest of her line died into a guttural sound she couldn’t quite identify when the blonde’s teeth bit the thin flesh. “Clarke-” she whined. Her position was uncomfortable. Lexa didn’t how nor when it happened but her bust was facing Clarke while her legs where caught under the steering wheel, twisting her body in an unnatural way. The grip on her hair was firm, maintaining her in place and keeping her from leaning back on the driver’s side window at the same time. Lexa’s wince changed into a frown when the blonde’s hands slipped into the waistband of her pants and underwear only to leave the area a second later as she was pulling back.

With a smirk, Clarke untangled her hand from Lexa’s hair to trace the crimson red mark on her neck. Then her proud eyes bore into the woman’s angry ones and she said “You did well today Lexa.” Then she leaned closer and whispered in the woman’s ear “You deserved a treat” as she was lightly grazing Lexa’s crotch with a finger.

In a blink of an eye she was out of the car and when Lexa finally came back to consciousness, Clarke had disappeared and a small window on the first floor of the house was glowing.

Lexa shook her head for what felt like the hundredth time today. ‘ _Never trust Clarke.’_

She shifted on her seat, an uncomfortable sensation in her underbelly. She frowned and just like the girl, Lexa slipped her hand under her waistband. There she found something small and took it out. She looked at her palm and her eyes widened.

A candy.

One of those overly chemical, sweet/acid candy.

_What does that even mean !? Wait all this nice girl thing was just an act or !?_

With a disgusted face, Lexa threw it in the amenity pocket of her door as if it had just burnt her hand and turned on the car. She didn’t like sweets. Even less those disgusting candies. She’d get rid of it at home. She’ll have to clean up her car in the morning anyway. Especially the passenger seat. The smell of food was sickening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanna talk to me ? Come find me here http://mimillekoishi.tumblr.com/


	3. A good teacher ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa tries to give a lesson... without wearing her bra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the second smut chapter of my life !

“Clarke…”

“Mhm ?”

“Not now please…”

This day was starting horribly for Lexa. She was supposed to give a lesson to Clarke’s class in twenty minutes and she was everything but ready. Right now the blonde was pinning her against the wall of her office, kissing and sucking at her neck, reviving the fading teeth mark from three days ago, while slowly unbuttoning her shirt. The woman could push Clarke and run away. It wouldn’t be so hard, the blonde wasn’t so strong after all. But…

“Clarke, please, not now.” She demanded again, more firmly this time, despite the nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach, her dizzy state and rapid pulse.

But the blonde wasn’t stopping. She was lightly, almost gently kissing the smooth skin of Lexa’s throat and jaw. At least there were no teeth this time, Lexa thought. ‘ _At least there’s no pain.’_

White shirt finally unbuttoned, the blonde pulled back to take a look. Lexa could see her gaze analyse every detail of her body, from her heeled shoes to her chest, and couldn’t help the heat slowly flooding her mind and body. She hated the part of herself begging for Clarke to quickly take off this way too warm shirt, hated the part of her seeing the space between the blonde’s body and hers as a loss, hated the fact that she wasn’t doing anything to stop what was happening.

The blonde smirked. Lexa was so predictable. So cute. Her cheeks were flushed like those of a shameful little girl and while her eyes were throwing daggers, her body was burning with what Clarke identified as desire. Of what ? Who knew and honestly the blonde didn’t care. Outside, Lexa was rock and earth, stoic and fierce, caring and responsible. But in her hands, her very own hands and her hands only, Lexa was fire and water, broken and docile, hating and guilty. And that’s what Clarke enjoyed. Lexa was hers.

Finally Clarke took off the shirt and the woman could breathe again. The cold air felt good. But the delightful feeling didn’t last long. An instant later the blonde was sucking at her earlobe and lightly massaging her abdomen with her fingertips and Lexa closed her eyes. The touch was so soft and gentle… Almost soothing. The feeling was so enjoyable she momentarily forgot that the body pressed into hers was Clarke’s.

Suddenly, Lexa felt cool air caress her skin again. And her body felt free. A feeling her dazed mind identified way too late. Lexa’s eyes widened in shock as both of her hands had raised to hide her now bare chest. “Clarke !” she hissed.

The blonde was already near the door, her bottom lip between her teeth, a devilish smirk stretching her face, Lexa’s black lace bra victoriously held in one hand. “See you in class Mrs Wilde !”

Lexa extended an arm but too late. The blonde had ran out of the office. The woman threw a look to the clock on her wall.

Ten minutes. She had ten minutes before the bell.

She put her shirt back on then looked at herself. Translucent would be an exaggeration but it wasn’t that far. The woman grabbed her jacket and put it on. She released a breath in relief. With her jacket on, nobody could tell. _Good_. Then she used the small mirror on her desk to check her neck. It was a little flushed but it would pass. She adjusted her hair and make-up and headed to the classroom.

 

The whole walk down the long corridor was easier than she had thought. Her breast weren’t that big in the first place so all she could feel was a light discomfort brought by the lack of tight material usually squeezing her chest.

When she entered the classroom though, everything changed. Everything changed because she had twenty pair of eyes literally glued to her following her every movement. Her whole body stiffened. _What if they could see something was different than usual and somehow find out ? What would they think of me ? What would their parents think of me !?_

In a blink of an eye her heart was racing again as images of Clarke’s wicked grin flashed into her mind and she noticed. Where was the blonde ?

“Everyone’s here ?” Lexa calmed down a little when she heard her own voice. It was normal.

“Yes ma’am. Everyone but Clarke Griffin as usual.”

Lexa shuddered at the nostalgic but foreign sound of the name but she tried to ignore it. “Of course.” She just said. Clarke was well known for skipping class. It was so common for her not to be there that teachers took the habit to count only the times when she was there. And because her grades were excellent, it was tolerated somehow.

After a few minutes, Lexa relaxed. Everything was normal after all. She sat at the desk, taking out the file with the students’ corrected tests. She called their names, one by one until...

“Can someone take Miss Griffin’s test for her ?” she looked at Clarke’s best friend “Miss Blake ?”

The young brunette sighed “Honestly ? She doesn’t give a fuck about this test and I’m sure she’s just late. Give it to her yourself.”

“Careful Miss Blake, you know I’m demanding regarding respect and politeness.”

Octavia sighed but Lexa knew she was earnest when she answered “Sorry Mrs Principal, s’just that I’m tired of being treated as Clarke’s assistant.”

The teacher nodded. She could understand why “It is alright for this time. Just try not to make a habit out of it.”

“Yes Mrs.”

“Good.” Lexa said with a firm but gentle nod. Then her eyes fell back on Clarke’s test for a moment. As much as she hated the girl, she couldn’t give her anything else but A marks. The blonde was a genius. She put the page aside on a corner of the desk before finishing to give back the rest of the papers.

For a moment the woman had thought that without Clarke in the room, everything would be alright, casual, normal. And for a moment it had been. Until, without paying attention, her arm brushed one of her breast, reminding her that her bra was gone. Instinctively, her eyes quickly travelled to the unoccupied table in a corner of the room. Clarke wasn’t here. Wasn’t watching her. But then, and Lexa cursed to herself for doing that, she threw a rapid look to the paper still laying on her desk. Paper on which Clarke’s name was written. And a shiver ran down her spine when she felt the ghost of Clarke’s breath on her neck. She swallowed whatever was forming in her throat and returned to her board to correct Charlie’s mistakes.

“Next question. Miss Blake ?”

“Yes Ma’am…”

“You shouldn’t be so down, you’re improving every time.”

“Thanks teacher but go say that to my big brother. B is not an option when my lazy best friend manages to have an A every time without even going to class.”

“It’s your brother’s way to push you to work harder and do your best. Maybe it’s not the best way to do it but, he’s doing this because he wants what’s best for you.” She turned to the rest of the class “This goes for all of you too. Your parents are just concerned by your future. They can be bossy sometimes but, even if it’s hard to believe they’re doing it in your interest.”

Lexa earned twenty nods. Some more convinced than the others but whatever. Mrs Wilde was close to her pupils. Or students in general. A lot of them came at her to talk about family and personal problems. Of course the fact that the establishment was counting only 160 pupils in high school and 110 in middle school helped. Everyone knew everyone since childhood. Which explained why Lexa knew around 250 children and families almost personally. She was respected and admired in town. She had accepted the role of principal when nobody wanted it. She had worked hard to save their small school and the whole town was grateful. That’s precisely why Clarke was such a threat for her. Lexa had put everything she had into this school these past four years. Without her the establishment would be empty or even demolished by now.

Uncontrollably, her eyes fell on the blonde’s name again and this time rage filled her heart. She wouldn’t let the girl destroy what she had built and endanger the people she had worked so hard to protect, first as her uncle’s assistant then more recently as the principal.

When Octavia returned to her seat and Lexa stood to correct her, facing the black board, she heard the door in the back of the classroom open. Violent cold sweat and hot flushes ran through her body in waves. Her arm stopped, like frozen in the air. Nausea invaded her mind and without turning back she knew. She swallowed with difficulty, her mouth suddenly dry. Slowly she turned back.

“Clarke.” She just stated as the blonde was nonchalantly sitting at her table. She turned to the rest of the classroom “It seems that Miss Griffin finally honoured us with her presence.” The blonde snorted, putting her hands in her pockets. The girl was leaking insurance and superiority and Lexa’s heart skipped a beat “You’re not going to take notes this time either I guess ?” Indeed Clarke had come empty handed. Usually she carried a bag but this time nothing and Lexa knew why. It was the blonde’s way to say ‘I’m here just for the sake of being here. Not for the class, nor for my friend. I came here to watch you’. A shiver ran down her spine at the thought.

But then Clarke stood. Slowly, purposefully, looking straight into Lexa’s green eyes, she walked to the front of the classroom, to the teacher’s desk. She stopped only a few feet away from Lexa and without breaking eye contact, she extended an arm to grab her paper. Without a look at it, she said “Here are my notes.” She raised the paper near her face as a proof.

When she grinned in a way Lexa recognized way too quickly she felt her thighs clench. Her eyes then, and she was sure of it, momentarily shone with all the hatred and rage she felt for the girl. But Clarke raised her head and snorted again. Proudly, smugly, the blonde made her way back to her seat and when a wave of Clarke’s sickening sent flooded her nose her thighs clenched once more and she wanted to cry. No. Only twenty minutes left. She could do it. She could ignore the way her clothes were touching her now over sensitive chest. She could ignore the blonde and the power she had on her.

So, releasing a breath she felt like she had held for years, she returned to her job.

But with her back turned to the class, everything got worse. She felt vulnerable, weak, exposed, raw and her stomach turned on itself. She could physically feel Clarke’s intense gaze pierce through her, undressing her and suddenly her clothes felt foreign. Her pants were too tight, her shirt too small and her jacket too warm. Warmth. Heat. It took her a moment to realise how much her body was burning. Already sweat was running down her neck and she thought about taking of her jacket. But it was her last shield, the only barrier she had left to keep her secret safe. She couldn’t discard it. She would have to bear the heat, heat that intensified when she realised that Clarke might have planned all of this beforehand. It was a game for her and she had planned everything. A fucking chess game, a game in which Lexa was a pawn and Clarke a queen. The woman repressed both a whimper and an angry groan at the thought. As usual Clarke had managed to manipulate her like a puppet and it was infuriating.

“Teacher, is that a 2 or a 3 ?”

When Clarke’s surprisingly low voice reached Lexa’s eardrums her thighs clenched again and the woman asked herself _Why was her body so turned on for such a thing !? Why !?_ Guilt started to sip through every pore of her skin. Guilt for feeling aroused in class in front of her students. She was disgusting herself and it was Clarke’s fault.

She concentrated to answer. Obviously it was a 2. But the blonde had deliberately pronounced the 3 as ‘free’ only to remind Lexa she wasn’t free. When the word resounded in Lexa’s mind, a light tingle on her throat, near her pulse point made itself known. Clarke’s mark was still on her. The red tooth marks had disappeared but the feeling was still there, longing right under the delicate skin. A shiver ran down her spine as a new wave of arousal submerged her overheated body. Clarke had her in the palm of her hand and could crush her whenever she wanted. Tired, she gave the girl what she wanted “It’s not a 3.”

“Ow. Sorry. My bad.”

Lexa fought the urge to throw herself at the girl at the amused tone. Clarke liked it, were enjoying Lexa’s state, Lexa’s suffering.  

“The next’s for me.”

The statement, almost order, startled the teacher and she frowned “Nobody asked you anything Miss Griffin. Go back to your seat.” Lexa amazed herself. The firmness in her voice was perfect.

But the blonde just shrugged and walked to the board. She grabbed the chalk in Lexa’s hand.

The touch wasn’t gentle, wasn’t smooth, wasn’t slow, wasn’t what Lexa liked but her heart fluttered in satisfaction. The blonde was too close, her sent too overwhelming and Lexa felt dizzy. In front of her Clarke had lost her smirk. She just looked bored. Bored and tired and for a moment, an instant only, Lexa wondered why.

Finished with her equation, the girl grabbed Lexa’s hand, placing the chalk back in her palm. “Here teacher. Finished.”

This time Lexa almost whined, her whole body begging Clarke to touch her more. But Clarke’s hands left hers and a shaky, sad breath escaped her lips. Slowly, the blonde returned to her seat and the loss was almost unbearable. Desperate, Lexa threw a look at the clock. Ten minutes before the bell. In ten minutes she could run away. Lexa’s eyes returned to the board then and she managed to say “Correct.” and call for the next pupil to come to the board. But when the student started writing, Lexa felt a pull, an irresistible pull inside her gut and she submit to it reluctantly. She turned her head let her eyes lose themselves into devilish blue ones. Clarke was smirking. It was mean. It was disdainful. It was ‘so Clarke’ Lexa thought and she silently hoped that the growing wetness between her legs wouldn’t show. But then the blonde’s teeth appeared, her grin widening as she was lifting one of her hands to one of her own breasts and grazed it with one fingertip.

A strong breath forced her way through Lexa’s lungs, her back straightened, and she had to lean on the desk, not trusting her weakening knees anymore. It made Lexa overly self-conscious of the delicious torture that was the enjoyable but unsatisfying feeling of the rough material of her silky shirt against the sensitive flesh of her now fully erect nipples. It was too much. The warmth of her crotch was burning, her pulse in her ears deafening, the scent of Clarke still floating around was dazzling, and her hands were trembling. She threw a rapid look to her other pupils. Everyone seemed oblivious, ignorant of what was happening. Relived, Lexa exhaled. Her body effectively relaxed for an instant before tensing again, sending a new wave of arousal through her body. Any more than that and she could explode. She needed to get out. To run away. She needed release. Any kind. She needed fresh air and cold water and… Her eyes fell on the blonde again and everything froze. Clarke’s eyes were dark but burning, not cold and feral like usual. It lasted only an instant though because when the bell finally rang, the last thing Lexa saw before rolling her eyes back into her skull in relief was Clarke’s usual sadistic smirk.

Lexa gathered all the energy she had left in her and said with a smile “We’ll finish next time. You can go. Have a good day.” She quickly grabbed her stuff and walked to the door, fighting the urge to look back at Clarke, to silently ask her to follow. She almost ran to her office. Inside, she leaned her back on the door and a loud half moan half sigh escaped her mouth. She opened her jacket in an attempt to lessen the pressure on her chest.  She whined when cool air grazed the shivering skin.

Lexa thought. She had to go home. She couldn’t spend the whole day like that. She had extra underwear hidden in her purse. She could masturbate discreetly to calm down and change after that but still. She needed a bra. Slowly she walked to her desk and a pink post-it caught her eyes.

‘For Principal Wilde’ The woman turned the note and read ‘Look under the desk’. Lexa did as said and bent down. Scotch-taped on the wood was her bra, accompanied by a second note and a candy, the same kind Clarke had gave her in the car. She read. And punched her desk.

‘It was there the whole time, get off by yourself like a big girl, with all my love, Clarke.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanna talk to me ? Come find me here http://mimillekoishi.tumblr.com/


	4. To release tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Massaging session in Lexa's office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's some background and a really short sex scene.

“Clarke, you’re playing with fire, I’m telling you !”

The blonde sighed. “Octavia, I know what I’m doing ok ?”

“No Clarke, you don’t. First, it’s illegal. Second what if finally she lodges a complaint against you huh ?!”

“You said it yourself. What we’re doing is illegal. If she goes to the police, she’s screwed. For the law, she’d raped me. It’s safe for me.”

“Yes but you’re turning 18 soon. Will you stop then ?”

Clarke smirked proudly “When I'll be 18 O, she’ll be so addicted to it she’ll beg me to continue.”

Octavia shook her head “I don’t know Clarke. I think it’s dangerous. What if you get busted ? I seriously admire Mrs Wilde for her stoicism and poker face. She did a great job yesterday. She looked a little flushed but nothing more.”

Clarke smiled at the memory “Yeah she’s a great actress.” she shrugged “Well for normal people at least. With me she’s like an open book.”

“This isn’t healthy Clarke…”

“Oh shut up ! She’s mine, I can do what I want with her. She’s wrapped around my little finger. I know what I’m doing so stop worrying for nothing”

“You changed Clarke… You changed so much…”

“Yeah well, people change in 5 years.”

“What happened ?”

“Already told you : none of your business.”

Octavia stood from where she was sitting on the ground “You know what ? Fine. Just don’t get busted.”

“I spend hours planning every single game. It cannot go wrong.”

“I hope so Clarke. I really do…”

 

***

 

Lexa sighed for the umpteenth time this morning. Budget problems again. Just when everything was finally starting to work. Why ? Why did this fucking pipe broke ?

She looked at the Clock. Ten am. She needed a break. She got out of her office only to find Anya behind her door, ready to knock.

“Coffee ?” asked the woman brandishing her purse triumphantly with a smile.

Lexa smiled back “Yes. I think I deadly need it.”

“Definitely. You look like a zombie. You sure you’re alright ?”

The brunette closed her door “Yes. Just a little tense these days that’s all.”

They started walking down the long corridor leading to the exit “You should take some rest. Holidays maybe.”

Lexa shook her head “You know I won’t be able to have a good time if I go when this school needs me.”

Anya sighed “Yeah. You’re too devoted. I should have been the one in this office.”

“Don’t say that. You’re sick Anya, this job could’ve killed you in less than a month.”

Anya slapped her cousin’s shoulder playfully, earning a small smirk “Hey ! Are you saying my actual job is not difficult ? I have to manage your schedule so that you can have some time to take breaks sometimes. And believe me, it’s harder than you think !”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. But seriously you’re too young for that.”

“Your dad left us too soon.” Lexa paused. This school was all Gustus had left “This establishment was all his life. I would’ve never let it go to waste.”

“But tiring yourself like that isn’t good.”

Lexa knew why she was tired and tense most of the time lately. She knew it was definitely the blonde’s fault, it was her…

As if some kind of god with a really twisted sense of humour had just heard her thoughts, Lexa’s eyes met Clarke’s. The girl was leaned on the lockers, a boy’s arms around her waist. The blonde smirked then kissed him. When Lexa passed by them Clarke opened her eyes, smirked again and deepened the kiss, a small moan escaping her throat and the principal’s heart skipped a beat. Clarke was taunting her. Lexa felt the urge to avert her eyes, her back straightening and fists clenching.

Anya that had witnessed the same thing, sighed, shaking her head “This kid is the incarnation of problem.”

“What was his name ?”

Anya frowned “I’m sorry ?”

“The guy with Cl- Griffin.”

“Oh. I think it’s… Finn Collins ? He’s new here. Arrived last month if I remember correctly. Why ?”

Why indeed. Why did Lexa asked that ? It was none of her business. “Nothing. You said it. Clarke means problems” This Lexa knew more than anyone else “If she breaks this poor boy’s heart and he comes at me to cry, I can prepare what I’ll say to him.” It was a lie. A big one. A bad one. The brunette hoped Anya would buy it.

The dirty blonde seemed suspicious but she dropped it. Instead she took a casual air and said “Maybe she loves him.”

Something in that was bugging Lexa. Probably the fact that she was convinced Clarke couldn’t love anyone. Yes. It was that for sure. “I hope so.” She lied.

Anya raised an eyebrow and looked at Lexa from the corner of her eyes. “She seems to really like you though.” Ok maybe she hadn’t dropped it completely.

In an instant Lexa was in defence mode “Impossible.”

Anya shrugged “She spends all her free- no, all her should-be-in-class time with you after all.”

Lexa swallowed thickly and mentally crossed her fingers for Anya not to notice. “You know a lot of students come at me to talk about their problems. This girl has issues.” It was probably the truest line she had told in the past five minutes.

“She does. But still.”

Lexa sighed in exasperation and her heart started to race as she was preparing her next words “Please Anya, if you have something to say, then say it.”

“What I’m saying is that Clarke is cute” _No she’s not_ “And I know you feel kind of lonely since Costi-”

“Anya !” Lexa hissed.

“Sorry, sorry. But you should get over it already. The whisky bottle under in desk started to empty itself again. I’m worried Lexa.”

The brunette calmed down. “I know. But I’m ok I promise. When I’ll be over with those budget problems I’ll take a few days far from school.”

“Good.” They crossed the road and entered the café in front of the school’s parking. They sat down and a waitress took their order.

Finally Lexa let out the words that had been burning her tongue “Plus, she’s a student. I’m not crazy Anya.”

Anya rolled her eyes and sighed “I hope so. But still, keep what you just said in mind ok ?”

“Of course.” Obviously Lexa had had this idea in her mind for the past almost three months now. Those words were engraved in her head. But somehow she still couldn’t avoid Clarke’s little games from happening at least three times a week. “How are you doing ?”

“Remission.”

Lexa nodded stiffly “Good.”

“Still. Despite the chemo I look more alive than you. You have a problem Lexa. You should come with me to Polis sometimes.”

Lexa sighed but smiled “You know I don’t like bars. Plus, I have work.”

Anya smiled back, one of those caring, affectionate smiles Lexa craved “Even when we were little I couldn’t win against you.”

“And I’m four years younger…”

Pretending to be offended she snapped back “THREE ! Stop reminding me I’m turning thirty this year ! You sadist !”

 

***

 

With caffeine in her veins, Lexa felt better. She sat back at her desk and returned at her papers. One hour later she let her head fall on her desk in a loud thud.

“Damn you’re literally radiating despair”

Lexa’s heart stopped at the voice. She must have been really concentrated and tired not to notice the girl’s arrival. “Clarke.” She stated without lifting her head from her desk. She heard the blonde pass by her and stop in her back. Lexa jumped when two hands touched her shoulders, sending a shiver down her spine. Even exhausted she could feel fear sip in her bones.

“Shit you’re so tense ! How are you not broken already ?”

But to Lexa’s surprise the girl started to massage her shoulders. The movements weren’t gentle but it felt good. The woman relaxed and closed her eyes, too tired to fight something that could make her feel good even if it was Clarke. “Where did you learned that ?” she mumbled.

“Kinda helps when your step dad is physiotherapist.” Slowly Clarke’s hands were trailing down Lexa’s back. When she reached the woman’s lower back, she did one special movement with her thumbs and automatically Lexa’s back straightened and a moan escaped her lips before she could realise what had just happened. Clarke laughed “I know right ?” Lexa approved with a hum and the blonde added “Mom always says my fingers are gold, that I’d be a good surgeon.”

Clarke’s thumbs were massaging Lexa’s nape when the brunette answered with another content hum “It’s true.”

Lexa didn’t know why but Clarke’s fingers had stopped for an instant and bad feeling started to settle in her belly again. Clarke’s hands descended to the middle of her back, thumbs tracing small circles, the rest of her hand rested on the brunette’s ribcage. Then lightly, slowly her hands travelled to the woman’s breasts to cup them and Lexa jumped “Clarke please no, not today.”

When Clarke had leaned close enough to whisper in her ears, Lexa had no idea, but when the blonde talked she could feel her warm breath on her ear and neck, sending hundreds of light shivers quickly run underneath her skin. “You need to release pressure Lexa” she said, her fingers gently grazing the brunette’s breasts “Look at you, you’re more knotted than my mother, it’s a record. Let me take care of this for you…” A shaky breath escaped Lexa’s nose as Clarke was unbuttoning her shirt and an uncomfortable heat was spreading between her legs. “Why refusing yourself something that feels good ?”

When Clarke started to nip at Lexa’s earlobe, the woman had to swallow thickly and concentrate to answer “It doesn’t.”

Clarke had finished with Lexa’s shirt when she said “Yes it does. What did I said about you lying to me Lexa ? Now I’ll have to punish you !” At that she violently groped the woman’s chest, earning a whimper. Lexa could feel the blonde’s large smirk as she was trailing slow, languorous kisses along her neck and jaw. “You like it rough don’t you” she mumbled against the sensitive skin while her hands were slipping under the purple bra.

When Clarke’s palms met the shivering skin of her breasts Lexa stood, two fists tightly clenched hammering her desk “Get out !” she ordered firmly. But Clarke leaned against her back. Lexa tried to run away passing by her right but the blonde grabbed her right hand and an instant later Lexa’s body was pressed against the window, face against the glass. “Clarke let go of me !”

“Make me !” she hissed in Lexa’s ear and the brunette had to clench her thighs and repress a moan at the sound.

“You know I can’t be violent with you, you’re a student” Lexa managed to answer between two loud breaths.

“Then be a good girl and let me fuck you” at that, one of Clarke’s hand tangled itself into brown hair, pulling back while the other was unclipping Lexa’s bra “Let me help you.” She said, kissing Lexa’s neck.

The woman could feel her knees and determination weaken with each breath grazing her skin. The grip Clarke had in her hair lightened when the blonde started to trace the shape of Lexa’s right breast with just a fingertip, earning thousands of goose bumps and an erect nipple. It was becoming harder and harder for Lexa to breathe through her nose only. The woman couldn’t see her but she knew the blonde was grinning when she proudly said “See ? Your body likes it.”

Lexa swallowed “Your hands are cold.” She lied.

Clarke giggled in the crook of her neck and Lexa shivered “You know they’re not.” The blonde’s hand left the brown mane to grip Lexa’s left hip. The woman failed to repress a whimper at the loss when Clarke’s right hand left her chest for her second hip “Open your eyes Lexa and tell me what you see.”

Uncontrollably, Lexa did as told and suddenly she realised. She tried to step back but Clarke pushed and pressed the woman’s hips firmly into the wall, forcing Lexa’s bare torso to meet the glass of the window. The brunette gasped and whined, her body tensing and heart stopping instantly at the feeling of the cold material against her flushed skin. After a few open mouth breaths she recovered enough to beg “Please Clarke… Please… People could see…” At the sound of her own broken voice and the complete realisation that her bare waist was exposed to whoever could pass in front of the window, tears filled her eyes and the burning between her thighs intensified. She pleaded again “Please Clarke…”

The blonde let Lexa put some space between her body and the window just for her left hand to come back up and play with an overly sensitive nipple. As her mouth was nibbling at Lexa’s bare shoulder, Clarke’s right hand was undoing the button and the zipper of the brunette’s pants.

Lexa could feel her heart race. She tried to concentrate to return to an even breathing but her mind was too numb. She could barely feel her legs anymore and she wondered if she wouldn’t just collapse on the ground if Clarke pulled back. Fear and arousal were unpleasantly mixing in her belly and she didn’t know what to do. When the few parts of her brain still working were screaming her to run away, her body was craving Clarke’s touch, begging for contact and friction, pleading for release. So when the blonde’s hands finally slipped down her underwear Lexa’s hips bucked forward on their own volition, earning a low half growl half laugh from the blonde behind her.

“You’re so wet Lexa…”

Clarke’s voice was sultry and low, so low… Lexa’s hips moved again but that’s only when a finger reached her clit that she knew she had lost. She gave up the fight, the only thought left in her mind being ‘Hurry’.

Clarke felt it, felt the shift in Lexa’s behaviour, heard the long, warm sigh that escaped the woman’s mouth when she finally lost every thoughts of running away. The blonde had been waiting for this to happen since the beginning, that single moment, this specific instant when moral loses its fight against body, when human abandons itself to its basic instincts. Clarke lived for that moment, for the wave of power and superiority flooding her whole being, for the urge to please her partner in the best way possible. Now she knew she had only one word to say for Lexa to submit completely. So she did. She rested the corner of her lips against the shell of the woman’s ear, positioned her fingers right at Lexa’s entrance and she whispered, in her most husky voice :

“Move.”

Without even trying to resist, almost automatically, Lexa obeyed, swallowing two fingers inside her in a single move of her hips with strangled, moaned, ‘Clarke’. And that was it. Her complete defeat. Lexa tried to think but the only thing occupying her mind was the delicious and agonizing feeling of Clarke’s immobile fingers inside her and the way her inner walls were clenching around them. How tired and frustrated had she been to be so close to orgasm in such a short amount of time and ministrations, she couldn’t tell. But she was close. 

The blonde smiled against the soft skin right under Lexa’s ears. Seeing the brunette had stilled she reiterated “Again.”

And once again Lexa did as said, grinding Clarke’s hand in a desperate attempt to obtain the friction and pressure she needed. She moaned loudly when she followed the blonde’s next order.

“Open your eyes Lexa, look out the window”

The fear of being busted sipped back into Lexa as a new wave of arousal rushed through her entire system. The movement of her hips became more frantic and eager and her moans and whimpers more regular.

“Shhh we don’t want Anya to hear us, do we…”

Lexa nodded, biting her bottom lip and a new thought flooded her mind : ‘What if Anya hears us ?’ She had to stop breathing to stay silent as a light orgasm hit her. But it wasn’t good, wasn’t enough, it was more frustrating than relieving. So when her mouth opened to breathe again a broken, instinctive ‘Clarke’ escaped her lips.

The blonde’s first response was a low groan. She wanted to do so much more, to throw Lexa on the ground and kiss her and bite her everywhere until there were no place left unmarked on her body. She wanted to kneel down and bury her face between Lexa’s legs, looking up to see her come from her tongue. But they had no time left. Soon the bell would ring and the ‘warning, work in progress’ signs she had settled all around Lexa’s office’s window wouldn’t be enough to keep people from approaching. So instead she fondled the woman’s breast harder and said “Clarke what ?”

Lexa moaned again. It mustn’t have been more than two minutes since she had started to rock her hips but it felt like excruciating, frustrating hours had passed. So she pleaded “Clarke… Please… I-“

Clarke bucked her hips forward into Lexa’s butt, earning a loud gasp. “Please what ?”

Out of breath, throwing away what was left of her pride she begged “Please Clarke, make me co-“ Her last word changed into loud moan, barely muffled by the blonde’s hand on her mouth when a particularly deep thrust of Clarke’s fingers and the light tingle, bitter-sweet sensation of teeth digging into the flesh of her ear, made her fall appart.

She sunk to her knees, gently guided to the ground by Clarke. The blonde removed her teeth from Lexa’s ear when an Iron taste grazed her tongue. She buried her face in the woman’s nape and waited for Lexa’s body to stop shaking and her inner muscles to calm down. After a moment she finally took her fingers out and she smiled when the brunette jumped slightly at the loss. She called softly “Lexa ?” but no response. She frowned and, calling again, she turned Lexa so that she could look at her. Her heart skipped a beat when she manipulated the body in her arms like a rag doll. “LEXA !?” She released a breath when she realised Lexa was just asleep.

“Don’t scare me like that geez !”

Delicately, Clarke positioned Lexa’s back against the wall. She reached for the tissue box on the desk and finally cleaned her fingers. Then she wiped the woman’s teary cheeks and bloody ear.

“You look better this way.” Said Clarke kissing Lexa’s forehead. The woman looked tired but peaceful.

Quickly Clarke dressed Lexa and felt slightly guilty. The woman’s perfectly ironed shirt was all creased. The blonde shrugged it away and stood.

“Oh god…” Her eyes widened. The window was all foggy and blurry. Lexa would kill her. She grabbed a bunch of keys in her pocket “OK which one was it again ?” she tried a few on one of the drawers of Lexa’s massive desk. “Yay ! Griffin, the master of keys !” Drawer opened, the girl took out a cloth and some glass cleaner. She turned to the inanimate body “Why in hell are you locking up your cleaning equipment, seriously…” She started to ‘clean’ the window but when she pulled back it was even more blurry. She made a face. She really sucked at cleaning… “Well, at least no more breast prints !” She put the cleaning equipment on the desk and kneeled back between Lexa’s legs. She slipped a candy in one of the brunette’s hands then took a look at Lexa’s ear. Her mark was there, crimson, but the bleeding had stopped. She hid it under some brown locks. Finally she kissed Lexa’s lips. The absence of reaction was a little frustrating, lonely, but Lexa was resting and Clarke wouldn’t wake her up for something so selfish. So she stood silently and walked to the left corner of the window, the one usually hidden behind a curtain. She blew on the glass and in the fog she wrote ‘remember’ with a heart. With a whispered ‘good night’ she left the room.

But when she passed by Lexa’s assistant’s door, a strong hand grabbed her arm. Clarke rolled her eyes at the anger burning in Anya’s eyes. “What ?”

The woman released the blonde’s arm and hissed “What have you done to her ?!”

Clarke smirked “Not so much. Just helped her relax. You know, massages and stuff” Anya passed by the girl quickly in direction of Lexa’s office and this time Clarke was the one to grab her arm. “Don’t ! She’s asleep you’ll wake her !” she growled and Anya stopped.

The woman clenched her fists “I’m tired of your little game Clarke. I won’t cover for you anymore.”

The girl raised an eyebrow “Really ? Because I won’t stop. It was safer for Lexa with you as her watchdog but as you wish.”

Anya grabbed the blonde’s collar “Don’t you dare say her name !”

“Anya that’s enough.”

At the voice the woman froze, and Clarke grinned widely.

“Anya !”

With a loud sigh and a snarl, the woman released her grip.

“Go Clarke.”

The girl waved and said lightly “See you soon principal !” before exiting the small corridor.

Anya turned to Look at her friend, weakly leaned against a wall, arm crossed. “Lexa, why are you letting her do that to you ?!”

The brunette knew her friend was just worried, knew she wanted to help but… “This is none of your business. It’s my life. I know what I’m doing” she lied.

“But Le-“

“Enough !” she yelled and the other woman shut down. “I’ll try to take a nap. I don’t want anyone in my office before at least an hour. Understood ?”

Reluctantly Anya nodded “Yes principal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanna talk to me ? Come find me here http://mimillekoishi.tumblr.com/


	5. Two syllabs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa cornered in the boys bathroom. 
> 
> PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING WARNINGS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE EVERYONE READ THIS  
> OK so ahem... I spent 10 hours on this terribly long chapter (5000 words is a loooot for me). In this chapter I tried to describe the internal struggle inside Lexa more than real physical descriptions. If you want porn, then this is not for you. For the others, just use your perverted imagination. HOWEVER. It might not be really explicit compared to other fics BUT it is morally really, REALLY wrong. And it could've been worse honestly... A little voice in my head told me Archive of our own wasn't ready for some kind of twisted japanese thing so... Yeah it's 'lighter' than what I had thought about first BUT it is still wrong. I mean this whole fic is wrong but this one is... Well more vulgar, more dirty than the others and it's not only because of the location... Anyway I don't want anyone to be suprised by anything so you've been warned.
> 
> Second point : To all my male readers : know that I am deeply ashamed of what Clarke said (lies of course, nothing more than some cliché dirty talk) and I am sorry. I really am. Please forgive me guys. It was for a good cause. Well at least I hope it was...
> 
> Third point : Clarke is 'going out' with Finn but they're not having sex. Clarke is not a whore jumping from one person to another, she has her reasons and I'll probably explain it later. Just don't think that Clarke is playing with everyone all the time. I'll try to develop that in the next chapters but I can't say more than that. I don't want to spoil so... yeah deal with just that for the moment
> 
>  
> 
> That's all I had to say. If I shocked some of you well I'm sorry but I warned you. I really hope you'll enjoy though... Just... wait the very end of the chapter because... Well something interesting happens.

‘ _What time is it_ ?’ was the first thing that crossed Clarke’s mind that day. She looked at her clock.

6:07am.

“Fuck.”

Of course it had to be the middle of the night. She tried to stay in bed and hoped she’d return to Morpheus’ arms for at least 4 more hours. But. After rolling and shifting in her bed for ten minutes that felt like hours, she finally voiced the cruel reality.

“Gotta pee.”

With a groan she got out of bed. She shuddered from head to toe. She should probably trade her tank top/shorts for warmer pyjamas pretty soon. She zombie walked to the toilets. She did what she had to and returned to her room but she heard noises. She frowned. She was supposed to be alone that night. She could hear the little voice of her pride in her head screaming her ‘ _don’t do such cliché thing’_ but... Her reason made her arm grab the baseball bat behind the door of her room.

‘ _It’s not cliché for nothing’_ she thought.

Slowly she descended to the kitchen, as silently as she could. There was light. White and weak. ‘ _A flashlight !’_ She lifted the bat above her head, prepared to knock the hell out of the fucking foreign shit hole in her house. She entered the kitchen only to be welcomed by an open fridge and her naked step-dad half engulfed in it, butt wonderfully exposed for her to admire. It took everything Clarke had in her not to vomit right here and there. Instead she turned on the light and roared “What in the fucking hell do you think you are doing ?!”

The man dropped the cheese, bread and apple he was carrying to ( _Thank god !)_ hide his crotch. “Clarke… I- I’m sorry I didn’t want to wake you up, I’m sorry !”

The man seemed panicked. Clarke had probably given him the fright of his life. She barely held back a smirk at the thought. She sighed then and asked in her very own woken-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night angry voice “Answer. What are you doing here Kane ?”

The man stuttered “Your- Your mom and I-“ she winced “We were exhausted so two nice colleagues of us took our shifts.”

Clarke made a face, offended “Mom’s here too ?”

“Yes. We came back around midnight but you were already asleep so we went to bed in silence.”

Clarke wasn’t sleeping at midnight. She was reading in her bed, her bedside lamp on. ‘ _Of course’_ she thought. She laughed humourlessly and dropped the bat, the metallic shaft fell on the tiled ground in a deafening sound. She turned on her heels. In the middle of the stair case, Clarke passed by her mother and ignored her panicked interrogations. Back to her room she locked her door and returned to bed.

 

***

 

Lexa woke up five minutes before her alarm, as usual. After years of waking up at 6am, her biological clock was perfectly synchronized with her schedule. She dressed up in her sweat pants and hoodie, and headed to her small kitchen. She filled herself a huge glass of fresh orange juice and got out on her morning run. Forty minutes later she was stepping in her shower. At seven, she was ready in her perfectly ironed suit, her hair was dry, her make-up was on point, her suitcase was waiting with her shoes in her entry and she was humming happily while cooking herself some pancakes to eat with her milky coffee, with just the right amount of sugar in it. When she sat at her small table and started eating while reading the newspaper she smiled. Today would be a good day. She had such a good feeling about it ! Or maybe it was just because her past week had been shitty enough to make her reconsider completely her notion of good and bad.

Twenty minutes later she was in her car, carefully driving to the school. Her car parked she walked to the main gate, but got stopped by her friend. Today was a good day.

“Meow”

“Hello there !” she said softly to the small black cat purring, rubbing itself happily on her legs. “How are you doing today ?” She squat and petted it for a few minutes before saying her goodbyes and finally opened the gates and all the other doors. They had had someone to do the job at some point but the old man had retired a few years ago and because of some budget issues, nobody had replaced him. But Lexa didn’t dislike it. She enjoyed wandering in the empty school in the morning, just before the rush of student. Like every Monday everything smelled good and fresh. The cleaning ladies had made a wonderful job as always. Lexa liked to call them the faeries of the Ark because they somehow managed to make this really old school look like a brand new one every week.

When Lexa turned her key in the lock of her office’s door something poked her shoulder and she jumped. Anya. The only person in the world that could surprise her.

“Hey !” Anya said with a large smile.

Lexa rolled her eyes but smiled back “Hi. You seem in a good mood.”

“YES I am !”

The woman raised an eyebrow at her cousins’ overflowing enthusiasm “Tell me it’s not because of him again…”

“Do NOT disrespect Charlie !” Anya said with an unconvincing frown.

The brunette sighed “Fine, fine, I’m sorry. What’s the big news ?”

“I’m gonna be a mommy !”

Lexa’s heart stopped at that “WHAT !?” Anya was in remission but still, it wasn’t a good time for her to have children and maybe it would never be a good time to have one and Lexa ached every time she was thinking about it but she HAD to reason her cousin “But with your chemo an-“

“Of a DOG dummy !” Anya smirked mischievously at Lexa’s relieved sigh “I got you !”

The principal had a hand on her chest in a vain attempt to calm her racing heart “Ann please… Never joke like that EVER again.”

“Oh come on ! It was fun !”

“NO it was NOT !”

Anya faked a pout “Alright.” And she turned on her heels. When her fingers pressed on the doorknob of her own office she heard Lexa sigh and she knew she had won.

“Fine. Which breed.”

“German mastiff.” She exclaimed with a giggle before disappearing in her quarters.

Anya had always wanted a big dog but because of her health she couldn’t have one. Lexa was happy that her cousin had managed to find herself a man that could satisfy her desires but still, her anxious nature kept her from feeling completely happy about that.

 

***

 

“Whoa… You sure you’re alive Griffin ?” Octavia was concerned. Sure it wasn’t rare for Clarke to look tired and grumpy but right now she seemed…

“No. I probably died when I woke up at 6 only to find my mom’s fuck buddy rummaging through our fridge, naked.”

Octavia made a face “EW ! Gosh that’s…”

Clarke shrugged, letting herself crumble on her chair “Yeah… couldn’t sleep after that”

Finn waved at her from the other side of the classroom and she answered with a smile.

The brunette sighed “Seriously Clarke you don’t even like him, why are you hanging out with him ?”

“He does what I say, he’s nice with me and is fun to tease.”

“You DO realise this is not cool to act like that right ?”

“Yeah so what ?”

Octavia shook her head. She didn’t want to argue now. “Nothing.”

The history teacher entered the room and clapping her hands three times exactly she said “Please everyone, to your seats, class is starting.”

Clarke snorted audibly “Tss Indra. As nice as ever !”

“Miss Griffin. Out.”

“With pleasure !” The blonde answered, dramatically bowing, a hand on her chest.

 

Clarke wandered in the corridors for a while, just listening to her music. She thought about going home, back to her bed. Her mom would be pissed, they’d argue, she’d lock herself in her room only to get out of it half an hour later to find a letter of her mom saying ‘sorry for everything’ with some money. She thought about what she’d do with the money. There was a cool blue leather jacket she had seen in a shop the other day. A little expensive but cool. Yes she could do that. Go home then go shopping. But some brown locks caught her eyes. She looked around her and found what she was looking for. She rushed into the small room and waited behind the door for Lexa to pass by.

 

Lexa was walking down the corridor when a certain blonde girl stormed out of the bathroom almost bumping into her. Clarke was out of breath and panicked.

“Oh thank god Lexa please ! Hurry they… They look… dead…”

The woman’s eyes widened “Where !?”

“The handicapped stall…”

Lexa rushed inside the bathroom and to the handicapped stall only to find… nothing. And she realised, heard the little voice in her head repeat _‘Do not trust Clarke’_. She stopped right in her tracks, ready to get out of here but too late. Clarke had already closed the stall and she was looking at her with a grin Lexa had learned to fear.

The brunette swallowed thickly, taking a step back “Clarke I don’t know what you’re planning to do but-“

Clarke clicked her tongue and Lexa shut mid-sentence “Lexa, Lexa, Lexa… What did I said about saying the truth ? Not lying to me ?” Already Lexa’s stomach was full of knots and her knees shaking when the blonde added with a smirk “You KNOW what will happen and that’s why you’re trembling.”

As Clarke was getting closer, Lexa tried to step back but her knees bumped into the toilet’s seat and her heart stopped. Something inside her was screaming, begging her to move, pass-by Clarke, open this damn door and run away but her feet felt glued to the floor and when she finally managed to move one it was too late.

“My dear Principal” Clarke was so close the brunette could feel her breath on her neck and it sent shivers down her spine for a reason she didn’t want to acknowledge. One or two inches only were separating the blonde’s body from Lexa’s. The brunette was prepared. Her fists were clenching and unclenching and she was ready to endure any kind of rough contact. The blonde was looking at her, her chest and neck and ears, forehead and lips, but avoiding her eyes. Despite the blonde’s lack of action, Lexa’s heart rate picked up.

Suddenly, Clarke reached for the collar of Lexa’s shirt and she woman jumped, expecting the girl to pull at it violently and hurt her in one way or another. But the blonde just started to unbutton the silky cloth and somehow it bugged Lexa. Clarke’s movements were slow, calculated, assured. Lexa’s breath was becoming shorter and shorter with each button pulled out of its place. She was sure that Clarke could hear the hammering of her racing heart and the heat she was involuntarily producing. Lexa hated the fact that so little things could have such an effect on her. She hated the now familiar, unwanted, uncomfortable warmth that was settling between her legs every time Clarke touched her even so slightly. Then it hit her. Clarke wasn’t touching her. Clarke hadn’t touched her yet. Why ?

When the last button left its slit, Clarke opened the shirt, revealing as much skin as possible without taking it off. Lexa shivered again when cool air caressed her bare torso as Clarke’s warm breath grazed her chest. To Lexa’s surprise, the blonde’s dropped her hands to her sides and resumed her previous activity. Lexa could see her gaze linger on every little detail, every small freckle and mole covering her skin and she hated the fact that she had to keep her hips form bucking as a powerful wave of arousal ran through her body. How a simple look from the blonde could put her in this state !? It was because of the location she decided. It was the fear of being caught that was doing weird stuff to her insides. It was the fact of being half naked in front of stranger that was responsible for the way her heart was beating and her hot, flushed skin. Of course these were the reason. Long seconds, maybe minutes passed and Lexa’s body tension and temperature kept increasing and she involuntarily rejected all the excuses she had managed to find. Why wasn’t Clarke doing anything !? Why wasn’t she touching her !? Little by little the fear that had changed into anticipation had become frustration and it was physically hard for Lexa not to finally close the gap separating her from the girl. No. Lexa didn’t _want_ that. Her brain was misinterpreting things.

When Clarke’s gaze trailed its way up to Lexa’s face and she made eye contact, the woman’s hips jolted forward, meeting the girl’s and Lexa swore to herself. Clarke’s eyes were dark and unreadable in the dim light of the stall and the brunette, drowning in them, shuddered. Clarke leaned closer and Lexa felt her eyes water in anger. Anger against herself, against her body craving the girl’s touch. But Clarke didn’t pressed their bodies together and Lexa silently whined, in what seemed to be pain, the pain of being denied something you want. Clarke had just stretched enough for her lips to brush the woman’s ear. Involuntarily, as if she had known what was coming, Lexa took a deep breath and held it. When the words came out in a hot whisper a guttural hum escaped the woman’s throat “You’re not fighting today Principal ?”

The woman swallowed thickly, her clouded mind searching for something to say, a justification, a reason, anything that wouldn’t be admitting that all she wanted was to be touched “You’re not doing anything.” Lexa regretted the words as soon as they passed her lips. They were meant to be a fact, an argument but came out as a strangle, desperate reproach and Clarke pulled back slowly, a large smirk plastered on her face sending shivers down Lexa’s spine.

“Oh ? And would you like to ?”

Here it was. Clarke would make her say it. Clarke would make her ask. Clarke would make her beg. Clarke would rip the words out of her mouth and she hated that a new wave of heat ran through her whole body at the thought. She had to get out of here. Quickly. But her eyes couldn’t leave the girl’s, her knees were weak, her crotch was burning and she wasn’t even sure she could walk. ‘ _I’m trapped…_ ’ she said to herself as an excuse. Then she took a deep breath, gathered and put all the strength she could into a single movement of her head. She hoped for Clarke to accept the weak nod and fuck her hard and fast so that she could finally go back to her office.

Clarke’s smirk widened again, showing some teeth. The girl pulled back a little and lifted one hand, letting it hover an inch or two over Lexa’s stomach. The woman could feel the warmth emanating from Clarke’s hand and realised she was only one movement away from her prize. So for the first time she willingly rolled her hips forward and growled when the long awaited touch never came. Clarke chuckled before replacing both of her hands in the air right before Lexa’s hips. The woman frowned in frustration when she vainly tried to reach the blonde’s hands once more.

Clarke leaned closer again and, looking right into Lexa’s hooded eyes, she whispered “In words Lexa.”

What was Lexa expecting ? Of course Clarke wouldn’t be pleased with just a nod. The woman licked her lips. When a part of her was still trying to hold the words in, the other was ready to scream them. That’s this internal struggle that dragged the first tear out of Lexa’s eyes. The second one came with the words in a loud sob “Touch me”

Clarke’s grin dropped and Lexa’s heart skipped a beat “I’m not taking orders from you”

Lexa shook her head, her face torn apart in a pained expression. She didn’t _want_ that, it was shameful and wrong. She didn’t want it and yet, she tried to grab one of Clarke’s wrists. She wouldn’t say the words. She could acknowledge to let her body talk but she wouldn’t say the words. The girl threw her a look as a warning whimpered. She didn’t want to say it. But… ‘ _I have no choice’_ the woman said to herself. She swallowed again, and not caring about being pitiful this time she begged in a whine “Please Clarke, touch me”

The girl leaned closer again and whispered against Lexa’s lips “You want me to touch you ? To caress your skin with my fingers ? Is that what you want ? My hands on you ?”

In another sob Lexa answered “Yes”

“Good girl.” Praised the blonde with a smile.

The woman released a shaky breath. Finally she’d have what she asked for. Finally Clarke would touch her.  She closed her eyes, waiting for her reward.

But instead of smooth fingers grazing her burning skin Lexa felt sharp nails dig in the flesh of her hips and thighs. She had to put one hand on her mouth to muffle the loud surprised moan that escaped her gaping mouth and the other on the wall to steady herself. Clarke had pulled down her pants and underwear at the same time in a single rough move. But then nothing. Some invisible force made Lexa look down and her breath got caught in her throat. Clarke grinned at her and finally, slowly, she pressed her lips against Lexa’s throbbing clit. Eyes tightly shut Lexa had to punch the wall to reduce her scream to a simple whimper.

Clarke started to graze the sensitive area with her tongue. But it was too slow, too light and the hand on Lexa’s mouth moved to tangle into the girl’s hair, pushing as strong as her weak arm permitted her in a vague attempt to force the girl to give her what she wanted. Clarke grabbed her hips to keep her from moving and continued her slow, excruciating pace and all Lexa could do was squeal and moan silently. After a minute or an hour Lexa was on the edge. But Clarke’s gentle touch wasn’t enough. She tried to jerk her hips but the blonde’s grasp was iron while her body felt so weak. She tried again and again but every time Clarke managed to pull back just in time. She didn’t care anymore what she’d have to do so she tried to connect the last few neurones still working correctly she had left and pleaded “Cla-arke…” The blonde looked up to her raising an eyebrow and Lexa realised. She had been waiting for that. She had been waiting for Lexa to give up on her own. The woman moaned at the thought and resumed “Please Clarke, please har-” the last part died in a gasp and a quiet scream when Clarke bit her clit. Lexa could feel her inner walls clenching and sucking on nothing as her orgasm hit her. When Clarke’s teeth finally let the bundle of nerves to be replaced by a warm, sticky tongue Lexa released a breath in a loud moan. The blonde was going to finish licking what was left of Lexa’s cum but when she felt the woman’s hand leave her hair and the muscles of her hips relax she stood quickly to catch Lexa and sit her on the toilet.

When Lexa reopened her eyes she knew she had momentarily lost consciousness. Her ears were buzzing and her mouth was dry but the worst were her legs, her thighs felt cramped from the pressure they had had to endure and she highly doubted she could stand, let alone walk back to her office. Only after that the woman noticed the girl straddling her. Clarke kissed her then and Lexa could taste herself on the blonde’s tongue, terrible proof of what she was continuously trying to reject : the pleasure she felt when Clarke played with her. She tried to ignore the fact once again but as the girl bit and sucked at her bottom lip and a whimper escaped her mouth, Lexa knew she had lost. She tried to kiss Clarke too but the blonde pulled back. She brought her index finger to her lips in a light ‘shhh’ and Lexa’s eyes widened. She could hear voices.

The interclass.

She panicked and tried to button her shirt without success because of her trembling hands and preoccupied mind. Her pulse in her ears was making her deaf and her head was spinning. They had to get out, find an excuse for being here together and- and…! Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hands and whispered in her ear “If you stay quiet, it’ll be ok. It’s just a few minutes.” The blonde guided Lexa’s hands on her hips, catching the woman off guard. She had never touched Clarke in any kind of way but now both of her hands were squeezing the blonde’s hips and strangely she wasn’t in such a hurry to get out anymore.

But the worst of the worst happened. Two people entered the bathroom and Lexa’s heart stopped beating in her chest as a strong nausea hit her.

They were in the boys’ room. She looked at Clarke, eyes wide and questioning, searching for any kind of reassurance. But all the girl did was kiss her own right hand and as Lexa started to shake her head energetically mouthing hundreds of ‘no’, she slipped her hand between their thighs and cup Lexa’s crotch. Lexa’s breath got caught in her throat. Lips against the woman’s ears and her voice weaker than a whisper, Clarke warned “If you resist or struggle I’ll scream for help”

Lexa suddenly remembered that Clarke had the power to destroy her life in a matter of second and nodded. It would be the worst. The WORST. She hadn’t been so close to be busted before, never been in such a dangerous situation. If the boys found out they could either ask to enter Clarke’s game or call the police. In both scenario she’d end up in jail. She could deal with Clarke but two boys… She wouldn’t make any sound. She COULDN’T make any sound.

Clarke traced the woman’s dripping folds with a finger and Lexa’s determination’s wavered. It would be way more difficult to stay silent than she had thought. Lexa mouthed a ‘please stop’ against Clarke’s ear but the only response the girl offered was “You know what boys do in bathrooms right ?”

Lexa didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t want to know, and yet her body warmed up again.

“You’re very popular you know ?”

The woman understood the insinuation and shook her head, trying to chase away the thought the girl was obviously trying to put in her head.

“Yes you are…” Clarke’s husky but silent voice made Lexa shudder and once again the feeling of ‘ _not enough_ ’ flooded her mind. Her hips jerked uncontrollably and her heart skipped a beat at the idea that it might have been loud. But the two boys were still talking about girls and she relaxed.

“Think about it Lexa… All those boys dreaming about you…”

Lexa kept shaking her head and tears started to run down her cheeks. She didn’t want to hear that, she didn’t want to think about that, not when the boys in question were minors, were students. She could probably recognize their voices if she concentrated enough. She knew these kids, she knew ALL the kids in this school. They weren’t ‘boys’ they were her students.

“All those boys seeking intimacy in those bathroom after your class…” Clarke pushed one finger inside Lexa and the woman’s hips answered by another jump. The girl grinned, her mouth eager to say the words that would make Lexa come. “Maybe in this very stall…” She put another finger inside and felt the woman’s inner walls started to clench as she was thrusting them in and out at a steady rhythm.

Lexa was trying hard, REALLY hard not to listen to Clarke’s enticing voice, to think about anything else, to concentrate on the ceiling, or on her files waiting on her desk or whatever the hell that was not male and young and student. But she was failing. Pictures of things she wanted to ignore were flashing behind her eyelids because of all the words Clarke held in her mouth. Lexa knew those words, knew the way they were dancing on the blonde’s tongue begging for freedom.

“Picture them Lexa, all those boys stroking their immature dicks-“ Shame and guilt made hot, thick tears run down Lexa’s cheeks. Those pictures in her head were not exciting, not arousing, they were painful “Picture them calling for you as their small cocks release spurt after spurt of come on this toilet you’re sitting on”

Lexa sobbed and begged silently for Clarke to stop and the blonde frowned. It wasn’t working. _Shit !_ She might have pushed it a little too far. She thought about putting an end to this but she couldn’t let Lexa like that, raw and open to anybody else. Clarke loved Lexa’s tears, loved their colour, their thickness, their taste. But the ones on her cheeks right now seemed disgusting. She had to do something. And an idea crossed her mind. She smirked. This one would work.

“And you know, sometimes, those boys are not alone…”

Lexa mouthed another ‘please no’. This had to stop. The ache in her heart, the weight on her chest were too much.

“Aren’t you wondering ? How I learned all of this ?”

It took some time for the girl’s subtext to reach Lexa’s last remnants of consciousness that weren’t clouded with pain but when it did, her mind got flooded with completely different pictures. Pictures of Clarke. Clarke having sex with boys in the bathroom. As much as the thought disgusted the pain in her chest changed.

“Last week. Right here…” The blurry images quickly became more and more realistic and so much more omnipresent. She imagined Clarke straddling a boy, his shaft buried inside her. Imagined her rolling her hips in a steady rhythm, while biting his neck drawing blood, fucking him roughly like only Clarke could. Lexa hated that the only thought had been enough to pull her on the edge.

Clarke smiled when Lexa’s head fell back and her insides sucked at her fingers greedily. The woman’s hips had started to buck again and Clarke could tell Lexa’s orgasm was close. The bell rang and the boys got out so Clarke raised her voice a little, making it sultry and low. “With Finn.”

Lexa growled angrily. Now she was seeing Clarke kiss the long-haired boy in front of the lockers and a feeling she didn’t want to understand filled her now burning chest. Her grip on Clarke’s hips tightened when something even more unbearable crossed her mind. She saw Finn. Finn seated on this same toilet seat. And she saw Clarke, Clarke naked, skin glittering with sweat, grinding her hips on his and moaning in pleasure. How dared he !? Even Lexa had never seen Clarke naked, not even a little, nothing. How dared he put his filthy hands on Clarke’s pure white skin !? Lexa hated the boy. He didn’t deserved her.

She suddenly stopped her train of thoughts. Was she envying him ? Was she jealous ? She was supposed to hate Clarke so how ?

Then an unwanted image painted itself on Lexa’s closed eyelids. She was witnessing the same scene but instead of Finn, it was her. SHE was the one pleasuring Clarke. It was HER hands on the blonde’s chest, it was HER name on the girl’s tongue. The woman opened her eyes to look into Clarke’s dark, predatory, piercing ones. Lexa whined and uncontrollably pulled at the blonde’s hips, silently asking her to move.  

Clarke smirked and decided she’d give Lexa what she wanted. She started to roll her hips against the back of her hand to increase the pressure as her fingers were curling inside Lexa harder than before. That’s only when Clarke’s crotch met her own forearm that she realised how excited and wet she was herself. She swallowed thickly at the realisation. She thought about stopping her hips, making Lexa move on her own as usual, to keep the upper hand. But the friction she was obtaining every time she moved ever so slightly was way too good and enticing. ‘ _Fuck it !_ ’ she decided. She could take some pleasure too this time. She put an arm around Lexa’s shoulders and started grinding her own arm full force and Lexa instinctively followed the rhythm.

The brunette could feel her orgasm approach when she noticed. Clarke’s expression had changed. Her eyes were shut and her breath uneven. And Lexa realised what she was doing. She had never seen the girl actually enjoy herself, lose control somehow. The woman decided to follow the pace the girl had set and to close the distance between them. She pulled Clarke closer, sliding her hands along her back to grip the fabric of the girl’s T-shirt. She rested her forehead on the girl’s collarbone and as she felt her muscles flutter again around Clarke’s fingers and she moaned her name.

The broken voice of Lexa calling for her and her hands gripping desperately at her back and shoulder brought Clarke over the edge. Something was burning her tongue, two syllables that could change things completely, that could put an end to everything she had created between her and the woman under her. But it was hard to hold these back when the brunette’s voice was calling her name repeatedly in a way that only she does. Lexa too was close. She could feel the velvet nest of muscles clench and suck at her, desperately trying to keep her inside and for the first time in her entire life Clarke wished she had a dick. The blonde repressed a moan at the thought and stilled after a final hard thrust. As she was finally reaching orgasm the two syllables escaped her gaping mouth in a small, strangled whimper.

“Lexa”

Clarke had said her name. She had said her name while coming and that’s what made Lexa fall apart this time.

The blonde waited for Lexa’s walls to still before taking out her fingers. She grabbed some toilet paper and wiped them. She had thought about licking them as usual but something felt wrong. She tried to stand and pull back but Lexa’s arms were still tightly wrapped around her waist. It annoyed her. She pulled back harder but the woman tightened her embrace and buried her face deeper into the crook of her neck.

“Lexa, Let go of me.”

“Wait”

Lexa thought for a moment that Clarke would struggle and try to get away for real. She thought that she would violently grab the back of her scalp and force her to let go. Instead, she stayed. That’s when Lexa realised something felt off. She pulled back to look at the girl. On her face, no trace of her usual smugness, not even the hint of a smile. She was just looking back at her, her eyes bluer than never. Lexa couldn’t read her expression though. The girl just seemed lost in thought so far away from where they were, somewhere Lexa couldn’t reach and something ached n her chest. The woman’s arms finally left the blonde’s top and Clarke stood.

She eyed Lexa from head to toe “Dress.” Her commanding voice was back but it was lazy, unconvinced.

Lexa wiped herself and stood despite the soreness of her legs. The ceramic of the toilet had been digging in the back of her thighs and butt the whole time in addition to the immense fatigue of her muscles. She managed to pull up her pants though and started to button her shirt. Well. Not exactly. She was struggling with the first button when Clarke rolled her eyes. “Come here.” She commanded and Lexa obeyed. “My mom told me one day it was a good deed to help patients with Parkinson.”

Lexa didn’t react. Neither did Clarke and an awkward silent fell.

Finished with Lexa’s shirt, the blonde opened the door of the stall. They were heading to the door of the room when Clarke stopped and Lexa almost bumped into her. The blonde turned back and grabbed the woman’s jaw forcing her into a bruising kiss like only Clarke knew how to give and Lexa held back a contented hum. An instant later the blonde was rushing outside of the room, leaving Lexa behind, a sweet/acid taste on her tongue.

For a moment, Lexa thought about spitting out the disgusting candy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanna talk to me ? Come find me here http://mimillekoishi.tumblr.com/


	6. Something's wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I have a problem guys... I... um... I'm afraid to say it... In fact, I have a life... And school is a bitch, and my teachers are giving me too much work, and the trains don't want to take me home when my classes are over so yep, for the first time in forever I don't have time to read or write. Translation : Only one update every two weeks. At least I'll try. Please forgive me for that *dogeza* (go google it if you don't know what that is) 
> 
> Anyway. This story/background chapter started as planned and ended not at all as planned. The last part kinda wrote itself on its own and it was... unexpected. 
> 
> Hope you'll like it !

Clarke groaned as she hit her alarm clock, sending it to the ground. Why was she waking up today again ? Two green eyes flashed into her mind and she smiled. She had a class with Lexa and she had plans for it. Suddenly excited she jumped out of her bed, dressed, grabbed a little blue plastic box with a wicked grin and stuffed it into her backpack. She ran down the stairs and stopped in her tracks when her eyes fell on her mother drinking coffee in the kitchen.

“Clarke”

“Mom. You’re here.” Even Clarke didn’t know what that was, a statement ? A reproach ? A relief ? Whatever it was, it was sharp and angry.

“Yes. I have my day” _And you didn’t think that maybe I’d like to know that of course…_ “Your school called.”

The blonde walked to one of the cupboard stiffly and grabbed the biscuits jar. “Mhm ?”

“Your principal requested an appointment.”

Clarke almost dropped the jar as her breath got caught in her throat. This wasn’t good. Why did Lexa want to see her mother ? Was the thing in the toilet too much ? The blonde’s heart started racing for a few reasons she couldn’t quite understand and a strangled ‘And ?’ managed to get out of her mouth.

“And I’m meeting her in the afternoon.”

Clarke swallowed and she hoped her mother wouldn’t hear it nor notice the red on her neck “What did she want ?”

“She didn’t say anything except that she needed to talk to me.”

Here it was. Octavia had been right. Lexa would denounce her. Clarke’s future would be compromised and Lexa would be sent to jail. She thought for a minute, tried to picture Lexa in prison. No. This couldn’t happen. She’d fix it somehow. Maybe she could beg Lexa and convince her not to say anything… She put the jar back in the cupboard. She wasn’t hungry anymore.

“Clarke ?”

“Going to school.” The blonde rushed outside and walked fast. She’d have to catch Lexa before class.

 

***

 

Lexa hadn’t slept. For four days. She had tried to erase, chase away, even acknowledge then reject again the memory of what had happened in the toilets but she just couldn’t. This sweet/acid taste didn’t want to leave her tongue either and she didn’t have appetite anymore, everything tasted like candy and she hated that. She hated candy. She hated sweets

Today she was supposed to give a lesson to Clarke’s class. She hoped the girl wouldn’t be here. She even considered calling Anya, cough a few times in the phone and convince her that she was too sick to give class. But she had things to do in her office. She sighed. She HAD to go.

She took more time than usual to dress and prepare. She wouldn’t go running today. She wasn’t hungry either. She looked at her clock. She was early but she decided to drive to the school anyway. At least there she could find something to occupy her mind : work.

When she arrived at school her stomach sank further in her belly and she wondered what she was afraid of. Clarke had always been a threat to her of course but why was it worse now ? It’s not like what happened in the toilets was worse than what she did when Lexa had met Charlotte’s parents so why ?

Lexa sighed again and stepped out of her car. She opened all the doors as usual but she was distracted and couldn’t appreciate what used to be one of her favourite activities. Without even realising it, she found herself sitting in her chair in front of her desk, doing nothing. God she was tired… She closed her eyes, hoping that somehow she could fall asleep and that Anya would come and wake her up later. But after a minute, the taste of candy flooded her mouth again. No she could not sleep and she wanted to cry. How could this girl, this child, influence her so much ?

Then a certain blonde stormed into her office and for a moment she thought she was still dreaming. But Clarke seemed angry and when she slammed her hands on the desk, Lexa fully snapped back to reality.

“What does that mean ?!”

The brunette’s tired mind searched in her memory what the girl might be talking about but found nothing “What does what mean ?”

“Don’t you dare trying to fool me ! You required an appointment with my mother !”

Lexa’s eyes opened wide and her heart stopped. This was some serious shit… “I did no such thing…”

Clarke, heart still beating way too fast, relaxed a little. Lexa never lied. Still the blonde’s brows knit in confusion “Then who-”

And it clicked. Lexa stood in a single stiff movement “Holy shit !” Clarke jumped at the exclamation and violent reaction that was so not Lexa even if she could imagine how the woman felt.

“This bitch…” the blonde said with a face.

Lexa threw the girl an angry, intimidating look “Anya is my cousin but she is your vice principal so watch your mouth.”

Clarke nodded. Lexa was all talk with her and she knew it but pissing her off was not her first priority right now. “What are we gonna do ?”

At that, something weird happened to Lexa’s stomach that she couldn’t identify as something different than butterflies. What a weird feeling, especially when nothing had triggered it. “Nothing. I’ll have a talk with Anya and meet your mother. I might have a few things to tell her actually.” The alarmed blue eyes startled Lexa. She had never seen Clarke like that, so nervous. And small. So small… Why ? Lexa relaxed anyway. It couldn’t be so bad to meet the blonde’s mother.

“You… You’ll not tell her about us right …?”

Again butterflies found their way to the woman’s stomach and she blamed the threat of Abby Griffin for all those weird things happening in her belly. “Of course not. It would ruin both my life and yours.”

Clarke released a breath she didn’t know she was holding and Lexa barely held back a reassuring smile. “Of course. What will you tell her then ?”

Lexa by-passed her desk to face Clarke “Go now, I need to talk with Anya. I want you to be there this afternoon. You’ll see why.” She instinctively put a light hand on Clarke’s lower back and gently pushed her out of her office, her ‘principal instincts’ were coming back, making her forget that Clarke was Clarke. “Go find something to do before class but nothing forbidden by these school and country laws ok ?” she asked raising an eyebrow. She got pleasantly surprised by the blonde’s reaction, the girl nodded and exited the small room. Maybe Lexa could make something out of her after all.

The principal entered Anya’s office and sat at her desk. It wouldn’t take long before her cousin arrive. Still during that short amount of time rage could have time to build up inside her and she hadn’t felt like that for years. Anya was her cousin, almost a sister for her BUT she had crossed the line this time. Lexa could accept, even welcome advice but when someone was nosy, family or not, the woman’s fury could take scary proportions. Anya hadn’t been only nosy, she had tried to force Lexa to act as she wanted and that, the woman couldn’t ignore. The brunette leaned on the back of Anya’s chair and reached for a huge pair of scissors, looking at it, playing with it, occupying her hands.

When she heard the door open Lexa’s eyes slowly raised from the weapon in her hands “You’re the one who called Clarke’s mother.” She said slowly, coldly.

“You’re the one that should’ve done it.” Anya answered on the same sharp tone Lexa had used.

“As you said, it wasn’t your place to do it.”

“Yes but you needed this.”

“And who are you to judge what is good or bad for me or what I need ?”

“I’m your cousin !” Anya finally yelled in frustration “I’ve known you since we were kids ! I know you better than anyone Lexa !”

The brunette stood, straightening her back “Still. This is my life, my choices and have no rights to intervene.” She said with an impressive snarl even Anya wasn’t used to see.

“But look at you ! You’re constantly tired and stressed out ! And this relationship is dangerous Lexa, for you as much as for her ! And the feelings you have are only due to your loneliness ! Anyone else could do the trick, maybe even a whor-”

Lexa hadn’t even realised she had walked to Anya until the palm of her hand met her friend’s cheek. She passed by Anya whose back was curled on itself, her eyes opened wide in shock, a hand on her stinging cheek. Lexa stopped walking and without turning back she said “Go home for today. Take rest, and reflect on what you said. I love you Anya and you know how important you are to me. But do that again, and I will not forgive you.” Then she returned to her office, closing the door behind her, Anya’s words inevitably sinking in her raging mind.

Feelings ? There was no such thing. Of course she had grown fond of the girl but only because she was her student and had problems. She wanted to help her and meeting her mother was the perfect occasion for that. She’d use this opportunity to help the girl in one way or another. Lexa picked up her phone and dialled a number she never thought she’d have to use again.

 

***

 

“Hey bitch. ‘Sup ?”

“Lexa and my mom are meeting in 10 minutes.”

Octavia took a look at her friend, curled on herself, knees under her chin at the foot of a tree. “That’s pathetic. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“She’s not gonna say anything.” Clarke mumbled.

“Oh and why did she called your mom then ?”

“She didn’t. Anya did.”

“Anya ?”

“Lexa’s cousin. The bitch… She’s nothing more than a watchdog for her, how dared she !” Clarke growled punching her own knee.

“Woooow ok Clarkey look at me.” Octavia squat to look at her friend “I don’t know what you think is going on between Lexa and you but this is NOT love or anything near that. She’s letting you do as you want just because she’s scared of you. Just wait for her to gather enough courage to denounce you. If she had this photo you’re using to blackmail her, she wouldn’t hesitate a second to at least expulse you from this school”

“Shut up !” Clarke stood “You know nothing !” and ran straight to Lexa’s office.

Octavia shook her head. This would end badly, maybe worse.

 

***

 

“Clarke ?” Abby frowned “You’re here too ?”

“Yes. Disappointed ?” the blonde asked angrily and her mother just sighed. Clarke was the one opening the door of the office she used to love above any other place, with a lump in her throat.

“Wait Clarke you have to knock firs-“

Clarke rolled her eyes and entered the room anyway. She did not need authorisation to enter. Not her.

Lexa stood and smiled warmly “Ah, Miss Griffin ! It is a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“Pleasure shared Principal. Please forgive my daughter for her disrespectful behaviour.”

‘If you knew…’ Lexa thought before chasing away all the images that came with the simple mention of ‘Clarke’s behaviour’. She had to stay focused. “It does not matter. I know your daughter, her knocking at my door would have startled me a lot more !” Lexa offered with a large smile despite her teeth digging in the flesh of her tongue for saying such an idiotic thing. She glanced at Clarke rapidly and noticed the girl’s raised eyebrow. She’d regret those words… “Please, sit down” she said motioning to the chairs.

Abby and Clarke did as said in silence and Lexa sat back at her desk. “I will go straight to the point, your daughter has been skipping a lot of classes” she looked at Clarke just in time to see the girl avert her eyes “But I can’t blame her for this.”

Abby’s eyes widened in surprise “No ?’

“Your daughter is a genius, as we both know. If she was putting some effort in it, she’d be the best student of this entire school.” This time it was Clarke’s turn to look surprised and Lexa would lie if she said she’d hate that. “That is why I called one of my acquaintances the other day” ok maybe she could lie a little bit “I can’t tell you what exactly she is doing but she is working at Harvard University and she has some power. I told her about Clarke’s case and she can help you obtaining a scholarship and a room on campus. The only conditions for this are Clarke attending all of her classes from now on and have the highest marks in this school.” Lexa but got only slightly surprised by Clarke’s angry eyes. She was prepared, of course the girl wouldn’t like it. She would have to stop skipping classes and maybe even start to work. No, what surprised Lexa was the unreadable expression on Abby’s face.

“I don’t think my daughter is any kind of genius like you said and Harvard is… something. And it’s so far too.”

“Yes but it is a wonderful opportunity. And believe me, your daughter IS a genius. To tell you the truth, I don’t understand why she is still in high school.”

“She refused.” Clarke stated and Lexa could feel the girl’s bitterness “Other teachers asked her and she refused to let me skip a grade.”

The principal’s eyes widened “Why ?” she asked to the now nervous mother in front of her.

“Because I wanted her to have a normal educational background and I thought that if she skipped a grade she would be lost.”

Lexa was starting to understand a few things. First, that the problem might not have been Clarke’s laziness like she had thought. Second, that she could do something. “I can understand your fears Mrs Griffin but I believe that Clarke could have a bright future and accomplish big things if she was well directed.”

“I don’t know Principal… Harvard is far and-“

“Just say it.”

Abby frowned “Say what ?”

“That you want me to go to the same med school as you and have the same kind of life, marrying a good man, having children and abandoning them at the first difficulty.”

“CLARKE !” Abby yelled, standing abruptly.

She had seen parents like that. They think they’re doing the right thing and have good intentions, they weren’t bad parents, only their children could categorise them as such. But this time, instead of understanding the mother, Lexa was angry. Angry at herself for not paying enough attention to Clarke’s background. The girl had problems and Lexa had ignored them. She had suspected a few things since the first time Clarke had ‘aggressed’ her but she just waved it away, she hadn’t want to think about it, just wanted to keep the blonde’s life as far from hers as possible. Now she had regrets. Maybe she could’ve changed things if she’d reacted earlier. But Lexa was also angry at Abby, at how the woman was keeping her daughter from a promising future for such futile reasons.

Lexa wasn’t a liar. But this time she could make an exception “Please, let’s stay calm. It seems that you need to talk about it with each other. Please Mrs Griffin, I ask you to consider it, really consider it and talk about it with your daughter.” Lexa stood “I would like to talk with Clarke alone if I may.”

Abby stood too “Ok. Of course.” She turned to Clarke.

“Go ahead. I’ll go back on my own.”

“As you wish” Abby bowed her head to Lexa “Good bye Principal and thank you for receiving me and taking care of my daughter.”

Lexa nodded with a small smile “It’s only natural. Have a good evening Mrs.”

“Good evening.” Abby answered, finally exiting the room.

The brunette waited a moment before looking at Clarke. The girl’s eyes were focused on the floor, her hands were in the pockets of her blue leather jacket, curled up in her chair. She looked just like a pouting child. So not like the Clarke from the toilets, almost a week ago.

“Clarke.”

“Don’t waste your time, she’ll say no.”

“I know.” The blonde’s still angry dark eyes met Lexa then and she added “That’s why I won’t ask anything from your mother anymore.

Clarke’s heart sank. For a moment she had hoped Lexa would help her to get out of her shit but in the end she was like all the others. She’d say she did all she could and abandon her just like everyone else. The blonde stood “I get it.” She walked to the door but got stopped by a strong hand around her biceps.

“Wait. I won’t try to deal with your mother anymore. I’ll plan things with you.” Clarke’s eyes expressed all the confusion and surprise the girl was feeling and the reaction satisfied Lexa. It was just what she expected “I’ll call people I know. I might be able to find you some correspondence courses. You’ll still have to attend school and have perfect marks but I’ll find you something to do. Maybe something after class, I don’t know yet. You’ll be in charge Clarke.” The blonde’s watery blue eyes sparkled and Lexa’s chest suddenly warmed up. For a moment she thought the girl would cry but instead she felt two strong hands pull at her face and lips crashing on her own. Clarke was kissing her. It wasn’t nice, it wasn’t soft, it wasn’t slow but it was Clarke.

“Thank you” Clarke said against Lexa’s lips before kissing her again. She had never been so grateful. Not in years at least, not since her father’s accident. “Thank you” she said again, but refusing to tear her lips from Lexa’s.

The poor brunette’s tired, confused neurones were having a hard time trying to decipher what was happening. She’d expected the girl to be thankful of course but her reaction was a little stronger than she’d thought… When her butt had been pushed into her desk, Lexa had no idea, but the girl kept kissing her and she didn’t know what to do with her hands. She decided to just rest them on the blonde’s hips. But it was awkward. Something felt off. Then it clicked and she followed her instinct, like she should have the moment Clarke’s lips met hers.

When Lexa kissed her back, Clarke’s heart stopped in her chest. It felt foreign, unexpected, abnormal even, but so good, so warm, so nostalgic, like eating a candy you used to love as a child and a tear ran down her cheek. “Thank you” she said again. _Thank you for caring._

After what had felt like years, Clarke pulled back and quickly wiped the tear that had made Lexa’s heart swell. The brunette was lost but so was Clarke and they stood awkwardly for a long moment. Lexa was the one to break the silence. She cleared her throat “I’ll take that as a yes then. I’ll call my friends tomorrow and you’ll know Monday if I it worked or not. There’s no guarantee but I’m confident.” The woman returned at her desk, gathered some papers, and grabbed her coat.

“What are you doing ?”

“It’s time to close the school. And you need a ride home right ?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanna talk to me ? Come find me here http://mimillekoishi.tumblr.com/


	7. Schrodinger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First : all my appologies for my late update. It took me longer to write than normal and when I finally finished it, my beta was occupied and couldn't correct it.  
> Second : I couldn't bear the idea of making you wait another week so I'm posting it but know that my beta hadn't had time to do her job so there might be some mistakes. Which is why I'm asking you : would you like to play a game called 'let's be mimillekoishi's beta for this chapter' ? If you notice mistakes or grammar problems or forgotten words, please tell me in the commen area and I'll edit this chap later to make it perfect. I am not asking to search for mistakes just to tell me if you find some while reading normally. Thanks in advance :3  
> Third : I am sick. Like for real. It started sunday (the day I wrote this chapter) so there might be more mistakes than usual (I hope not but huh... I'm still french after all...). 
> 
> Anyway, as usual I hope you'll like it. Remember that I am still new to the smut world and that I could use any kind of advice you can give so please if you have anything to say, tell me :3

“So ? How are your special classes ?”

“Good, good.” Clarke’s additional classes had started a week ago. The blonde had met the woman called Nia Quinn, Lexa’s friend in Harvard, last Monday and had somehow managed to convince her to give her classes. Under some conditions of course. Clarke would have to attend all her normal classes and obtain perfect marks in every domain and “I have only three months to convince my mother to let me go to Harvard…”

Clarke sighed deeply and Octavia bit her lip. She had to change the subject or Clarke would pace uncontrollably repeating how impossible the task was for the umpteenth time this week. She had never thought she’d say that one day but… “And, how’s Lexa ?”

Clarke let her head fall on her desk in a loud thud and groan “We haven’t seen each other in a week…”

“Whoa ok. But maybe it’s a good thing.”

“It’s not.”

“Oh and why is that ? You’re no longer outlawed.”

“I don’t care.” In a week, they had just managed to cross paths only once or twice. Because some drunkards had decided that breaking windows (in April) was funny, the school had budget problems again and the 4th, 7th and 8th grade’s school trip were compromised. Since Anya was the one giving Lexa’s classes, the principal had to be her own assistant and had no time for herself, Clarke knew it. “I’ve spent all my evenings in video conference with Harvard teachers. I have no time anymore…” the blonde explained with a face. Planning ‘sessions’ for Lexa had become a real hobby these past months but now she had no time to even think about it. For a week, her small blue box had been forgotten in the bottom of her backpack. She had let it here ‘just in case’ but then she even forgot it existed, more absorbed by the work those new teachers wanted from her. Miss Quinn had told her that she would be treated as an actual first year Harvard student. At first Clarke had thought she had exaggerated to scare her but now she was sure of it, this Nia had said the truth and damn this truth was ruthless.

“Yeah it sucks.” Octavia rolled her eyes “But again, you can concentrate on something really important.”

For a moment Clarke thought about standing and snap back some kind of ‘Who are you to tell me what is important, huh ?!’ but when she looked at her watch she just sighed. “I don’t have time to fight. Gotta go to class.”

“Ok. See you tomorrow ?”

Clarke shrugged “As if I had a choice.”

 

***

 

Lexa closed the door of her office with a sigh. What a shitty week. Between the reparations of the windows, the budget problems, some angry parents (Raven Reyes, Jasper Jordan and Monty Green had almost blown up the science room for the third time this month) and her ceaseless fights with Anya, Lexa could call her last week shitty.

A small part of her had wished that this Monday, beginning of a new week, would’ve been better. A bigger part of her, that had been telling her her problems were only starting, had been right. She had had to change a tire before classes on the school’s parking because she rolled on a fucking tiny nail. When she had been finished with her car, her uterus decided it was a good time to wake up and make her suffer like a young 14 year old. Lexa hadn’t had such powerful menstrual cramps in an eternity. And because her belly is never enough, her head had started pounding like crazy. She had spent her morning in the infirmary with Nyko, their wonderful nurse. He was a good man, experienced with children and good doctor but he had a devouring passion for rubiks cube. He always had one in a pocket of his overall. The thing is that when Nyko had nothing else to do he loved to play with his cube. And a rubiks cube in action makes noise. A very light but very annoying rattle. Lexa would never be able to look at a rubiks cube ever again without smashing it.

Then midday had come. She had open her bag, only to discover that the delicious meal she had spent a long time doing the day before had stayed on her counter. So she had had to go eat at the refectory with her colleagues. The food had never been good nor bad and Lexa could eat practically everything. Yes practically. Of course this time the refectory had had to serve carrots, Lexa’s most powerful enemy.

Her afternoon passed relatively fast since she had had too many things to do. Finally it was evening and she was closing her office, office she hopefully wouldn’t see again before tomorrow. But her office’s door was only the first of a long list. Half an hour later, she was almost finished. Only one room was left. Just to be sure nobody was left in there, Lexa opened the door of the conference room. The room was empty but something caught her eyes. Clarke’s blue jacket. The blonde had probably forgotten it when she left earlier. Lexa grabbed the jacket and starred at it for a minute. It was real leather, the colour was some kind of blue-grey and the garment beautifully done. Sure it had cost a lot. Lexa had a big family and they had never been rich. Clarke’s world was completely foreign to her. Expensive clothes, expensive house, expensive life. At least her parents would have no problem paying the girl her studies in Harvard. Well if Clarke managed to convince her mother that is. Thinking about Clarke… It had been a while since Lexa had talked to her. She thought for a moment, counting in her head how many days had passed.

“A week already…”

It’s all Lexa had been asking for for months now so why was she so depressed at the thought ? She shook her head. She had no time for useless questions now. She threw the jacket on her arm, closed the door and headed back to her office. She reopened the door and carefully placed the blue cloth on the coatrack in the corner of the room. She’d give it back to Clarke the next time she pass by her office.

Lexa left her office for the second time this evening but with a small smile on her face.

 

***

 

“And good evening Miss Reyes !” Lexa said, almost slamming the door of her office behind the dangerous brunette girl that had managed to bug Anya’s office. Lexa had told her cousin hundreds of times to LOCK her door when she wasn’t there but Miss there’s-nothing-to-fear never did and here they were. During the afternoon, a specialist had spent four hours trying to find all the electronical devices that could be hidden here and there. Of course out of precaution he had combed through her own office, just to be sure. Oh and the worst ? The whole school knew what had happened. Lexa let herself collapse in her desk chair with a long, desperate and tired sigh. Thirty. The specialist had found thirty mics and some type of walkie in Anya’s office. Damn, kids were really crazy these days… But this girl and her friends sure were talented. Maybe she could try to find them some good school too… NO. Enough with that. Those little delinquents didn’t want to study, just play with some powder and electronics. Lexa had had enough trouble trying to find teachers for Clarke. Plus, Nia would kill her if she asked her anything else.

Lexa’s eyes fell on the blonde’s jacket then.

She hadn’t seen the girl for almost two weeks now. Five days that this piece of leather had been complicating her life. The item was a perpetual reminder that Clarke, that once was here, was not here anymore and it was frustrating. Lexa didn’t know why but every time she looked at the jacket she was pissed. Five days that she had been waiting for the girl to come retrieve her thing. Five days that Lexa hadn’t seen that said girl. At all. Not even in a corridor or in a classroom or who knows where. It was as if Clarke had suddenly disappeared.

And Lexa was pissed.

Clarke and she had used to see each other at least twice a week for… A shiver ran down her spine at the thought. She realised that ever since… _It_ started, they had never really talked in the end. Every single time Clarke had been the one coming at her, messing with her then leave her behind like nothing had happened. Now that she was thinking about it, it had been more than two weeks since the girl had touched her. Again Lexa shuddered and a weird feeling settled inside her. She rejected it at first. Then memories of all the things that Clarke had done to her in this office, on this very chair even, flashed in her mind and she crossed her legs out of reflex. No way. There was NO WAY she could want something like that. No, her period had just stopped, it was hormonal. She couldn’t be missing that, missing Clarke, especially after just two shitty but short weeks.

She resumed her precedent activity : paper marking. But after each two or three questions, her gaze would leave the desk for the coatrack, a wave of arousal coursing through her before she could force herself to concentrate on the reason she was in this office, her work.

After twenty minutes though she stood, noticing the unpleasant, unwanted wetness between her thighs, and walked to the coatrack with tensed, hurried footsteps. She grabbed the jacket with all the anger one could put in such action, and held it above the trash next to the door. This thing had been bothering her for almost a week now, Clarke didn’t care about this piece of leather, it was obvious. She hadn’t come to get it back after all. Plus, she could easily buy another one, or better, have someone make one for her ! Lexa tried to unclench her fist. Really tried. But somehow it didn’t want to obey her.

After a minute or two she finally stated “I can’t do this.”

Lexa was the kind of people that kept old, torn clothes because, who knows, maybe one day she could make something out of it. So of course she couldn’t throw a brand new, very expensive and cool jacket. Plus it was not hers. She couldn’t throw something that was not hers. She decided she would just put the thing back on the coatrack so she did. Or tried. She was only a step away from the trash when she fell on her butt in a loud thud and a grunt. She found herself lied flat on her back, the jacket covering her face, one of her shoe had left her foot and for a moment she feared she had broken her tail bone. She held back a sob as tears ran down her cheeks. She was tired. Tired of the shit happening in her life, tired of this jacket tired of feeling. And tired of holding back too.

She grabbed the jacket with both hands and took a deep breath closing her eyes. It smelled like new leather. And it smelled like Clarke. Lexa went to sit against the door, her back leaned on it. She extended an arm to turn the key in the lock. With one hand she held the jacket against her face while the other was unbuttoning her pants.

“Fuck” she muttered as her hand reached her crotch. She was drenched. How in the world was she so wet already !? She hesitated only a split second before touching herself. She ran her fingers along her folds until they reached her fully erect clit. She barely held back a moan as her nose picked a little bit more of Clarke’s smell and her index rubbed at the bundle of nerves that had apparently been left alone for too long. After Costia, she hadn’t had sex nor even masturbated for three years. She couldn’t believe the desperate state she was in now, after just two weeks. She started to trace small circles around her clit, imagining it was Clarke’s hand. She thought about that time in her office when Clarke had pinned her against a wall and touched her in the same way. As she remembered the blonde’s expression she cried out something but muffled it with the jacket. The room was silent, so silent Lexa could hear her pulse and damn it was fast. And she felt hot, so hot. She raised a knee to rest the jacket on it, moaning again at the change of position, and started to unbutton her shirt with her now free hand. The cool air on her flushed skin dragged a contented hum out of her throat. But after a moment though she felt hot again and her movements became ineffective. Her finger was still stimulating her clip, strocking and circling but something was off. She wanted something else, needed something else. Lexa tried to remember how Clarke used to touch her and the memory only made her walls clench and her hips jumped. ‘Of course’ she thought bitterly, releasing a humourless laugh. She changed her pace for an excruciating, slow rhythm, just like Clarke would have done. Then the pleasure came back full force and she realised how much she loved that, how good frustration felt to her and hated the fact that, contrarily to months ago, she wasn’t hating nor blaming herself for it. She imagined Clarke’s hand pulling at her hair while slowly teasing her clit with a finger and again her hips jumped forward. When she lightly, slowly grazed her clit with the edge of her nail Lexa moaned loudly, glad that the school was empty. Or maybe not.

“Oh god-“

Lexa was panting heavily, the slow rhythm was killing her inside. She could feel all her muscles clench and unclench, sucking at nothing and she felt empty. But not yet. Clarke wouldn’t give her what she wanted.

Not yet.

Minutes passed and Lexa was on the edge. She had had to slow herself down constantly to keep her orgasm away for as long as she could. But then she imagined Clarke’s teeth digging into her bottom lip she finally gave in. She let her hand stroke the small nub forcefully like her body had been wanting for what felt like years now and her orgasm hit her. She opened her mouth in a silent scream as her hips were jumping and her walls clenching.

Her orgasm hadn’t completely died yet when two fingers found their way through warm, wet folds to reach this very special spot Clarke had discovered two months ago in a classroom. She couldn’t help the growl that escaped her throat at the feeling. She stopped moving, waiting for her insides to adjust and the image of Clarke between her legs to fully form on the screen of her memories. When she almost heard Clarke’s voice ordering her to ‘move’, she started to thrust her fingers in and out, curling them inside her each time and teasing her clit with her thumb. Again it was taking everything she had in her not to fuck herself hard and fast. She buried her face into the piece of leather on her knee, her free hand unclipping her bra before grabbing her left breast almost violently. She breathed deeply. This smell she used to hate was now her biggest turn on. How did this happen ? When ? Two dark blue eyes flashed behind Lexa’s eyelids and her hips bucked, pushing her fingers even deeper in a moan. The hand on her breast was pincing her nipple almost painfully, imagining it was Clarke’s teeth. She managed to keep her slow rhythm for another minute or so but when a certain memory of a sadistic smile came to her mind she lost the fight. She started to move her hips in sync with her hand as quiet screams of Clarke’s name were escaping her open mouth. Her pace picked up uncontrollably and soon her butt was barely touching the ground anymore. The only things in Lexa’s mind in that instant were the memory of Clarke’s hands and lips on her, the way her walls were begging for more and how good it felt.

Lexa knew she was on the edge, knew her orgasm was just at the door but somehow she couldn’t find the keys to open it. She tried to thrust harder, faster but she couldn’t come. Her body was starting to be tired and she feared her pleasure would fade away.

“No, no please ! Please !” she pleaded to nobody in particular. She was so close… Then she heard it. She heard Clarke’s teasing voice say ‘What if there was a mic left ? What if someone had been listening the whole time ?’  A shameful wave of warmth coursed through her body at the thought. Indeed, what if people had heard ? She imagined Clarke’s teeth sinking into the thin skin of her neck and she came undone, fists clenching at leather. “Clarke !” She screamed, all her muscles contracting at the same time as she came with tears in her eyes “Clarke” she repeated, head thrown back and eyes tightly shut, still pumping in and out of her in a desperate attempt to fully drag out her orgasm, make it long and strong. Each wave of pleasure was followed by a strangled call of Clarke’s name and a swell of her heart.

Slowly she came down from her high, relaxing. She waited for all the aftershocks to stop before taking her fingers out. Slowly she opened her tired eyes and looked at Clarke’s jacket. Then her eyes caught a glimpse of pink and green. She picked up the small object probably responsible for her fall. A small bitter smile tugged at her lips. Of course it had to be a candy. Without thinking, she unwrapped it and put it in her mouth, letting the disgustingly sweet, chemical taste flood her mouth. She curled up on herself, holding the piece of leather close to her chest, hiding her face in her knees.

 

***

 

Clarke got startled, to say the least. If she wasn’t mistaking she had just heard Lexa moan… She had come to finally get her jacket back but what she had found was way more interesting. The blonde smiled at the small sounds escaping Lexa’s mouth and all the wet, naughty noise she could hear. She leaned her back on the door and closed her eyes, picturing Lexa masturbating. Something was weird though. Clarke had never heard the woman being so carefree. Usually she’d hold every little sound inside as much as she could but right now she was just…

‘Shit.’ Clarke thought. It was turning her on. She wondered for a moment if she could just sit down too and masturbate in sync with the brunette. Clarke sighed. She knew she wouldn’t be able to stay silent. She’d be busted immediately, putting an end to the magic moment that was happening. So she just put her ear on the thin wooden door and listened.

It was harder than she had thought. Clarke started to chew her bottom lip nervously. Oh how she wanted to be in that office right now… Not touching herself was hard but not being able to watch was a torture.

She couldn’t help her hips from jolting from time to time and thighs to rub against each other and a small moan escaped her throat at a very low growl from Lexa. Clarke’s heart stopped beating. She put her hands on her mouth out of reflex, waiting for the woman to stop her ministrations but the moans and panting continued and Clarke relaxed. This was dangerous. She should get out of here. And quickly. But how ? How could she when such symphony was playing for the first and maybe the last time ? She tried to walk away but her ear and heart were glued to the door. She should go but she would stay. She would listen until the end, would stay silent, waiting for Lexa to finally orgasm. But after a while Clarke could hear her movements slow down “No, no please ! Please !” Lexa said and it sounded so desperate… Clarke’s heart swelled at the thought that Lexa could be left unsatisfied even with her being here. She thought as fast as possible, thought about what could help the brunette, at what she could do, what she could say to- Wait. Say. That was it. Clarke kneeled down and leaned her cheek on the wood and the corner of her lips curled in a wicked grin.

“What if there was a mic left ? What if someone had been listening the whole time ?” Clarke whispered, silently praying that it would work and that the woman would not believe she was really there. The blonde smirked as she heard a very loud moan but trembled from head to toe when she heard her name. It was the sexiest thing Clarke had ever heard. ‘Dammit !’ she cursed to herself. She was sure she’d have to wash her pants and throw her underwear away after that. Lexa called her name repeatedly for a while and it took Clarke everything she had in her not to just open the door and join Lexa. After a moment though the brunette calmed down and stilled.

Silence fell and Clarke decided it was time for her to disappear but as she was stopped by an unusual sound. A sob. And a sniffle. And small, quiet cries. She frowned. Was Lexa crying ? Why ? Emotional aftershock ? Hormonal problem ?

“Clarke…”

Lexa’s tired, lonely, sad voice called and in an instant, Clarke had her hand on the doorknob. Lexa needed her, Lexa, Lexa had called for her, Lexa was sad and she needed her so why was she hesitating ? The woman’s cries became more insistent and again Clarke almost turned the doorknob. Almost. Instead she rested her forehead on the door. She wanted to punch something not even knowing why. ‘Fuck !’ She thought, why the fuck was she standing there doing nothing when Lexa was crying, HER Lexa was crying.

After a few minutes, the woman’s cries died and Clarke left.

 

“I screwed up.” Lexa said in a hoarse voice. “Anya was right.” She uncurled herself and wiped her tears. The blue leather was pressed on her chest, her red eyes shut and her face turned to the ceiling when she stated “I fell in love with my student.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ? How was it ?  
> I am not a big fan of masturbation scenes actually, for me it lacks spice because pretty much everyone (past a certain age) knows how it feels and sex between you and yourself is boring after a while (ESPECIALLY in fiction). As someone that just can't deal with loneliness in her everyday life (in everything I do), it's hard to conceive interesting sex involving only one person, but that's my nature, everyone might not be like that and I perfectly understand, just know that it was kinda hard for me to write this. It's not that it's not good but I personally don't see the interest of 'watching' a character getting off on their own, especially when this said character is in a relationship and that you started to read this story BECAUSE of said relationship. But again it's just my personal point of view.  
> However, as much as I don't like these scenes, I felt like it could be useful to this story. I don't know if I did a good work here or not since I don't usually read stuff like that so I'd like to know what you thought about it. I might even rewrite it if it wasn't good enough (because I don't like not being satisfied by one of my writings.) I try not to release a chapter that is not fully finished or that I am not proud of in general but this one is special. I don't know what to think about it because I can't compare it to anything I've read. So yeah please this time more than never, tell me what you thought :)
> 
> Wanna talk to me ? Come find me here http://mimillekoishi.tumblr.com/


	8. Siren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry guys for the late update but shit happened in my family and well, I couldn't write.  
> Also this chapter is very long (11700 words...) almost three time my normal chapter's length so... I hope you'll forgive me ^^
> 
> Also today is a VERY IMPORTANT day, because it's Mac_Aroni's birthday ! And I'll need your help guys ! This guy is Jay's best friend, and he writes with her and their fics are hilarious so please go give it a try and maybe leave a little "happy birthday" for me ;) I guarantee you it's worth it !  
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/Mac_Aroni/pseuds/Mac_Aroni

“Are you ok Principal ?” Indra asked “Your face is really flushed.”

Lexa adjusted herself in her very uncomfortable seat, crossing her legs, trying to ignore the even so tiny bit of friction it brought her. “It’s nothing.” She swallowed in a vain attempt to bring back some wetness in her dry mouth. “It’s hormonal. The doctor said it’s because I’m tired. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Anya frowned in inevitable worry and Lexa wished that for once her cousin didn’t care so much for her “You want to go home ? We can finish this without you if you want ?”

Lexa hid her trembling hands under the table “No, *I* requested this meeting. I have to be here Anya but thank you.” She tried to smile but failed miserably. How ? How was she in that kind of situation AGAIN ?!

 

 

*A few hours ago*

 

Clarke had decided. It was fucking risky, but she’d try it. An entire week end without sleep and her mind was oddly clear. She jumped out of her bed and checked her backpack. She smirked when she noticed the blue box was still there. “I’m sorry my dear, I’d forgotten about you, you poor thing…” she opened the box and took out the small object, playing with it, closing her hand around it, sending it in the air one time before kissing it “Let’s have some fun today ! People ALWAYS underestimate your power my friend but *I* know you can do miracles” she said with a grin. Then suddenly her smile dropped “Wait…” she threw a look at the thing on her palm “Did I just… Talked to…?” She put it back in its box and sighed heavily “GOD I need sleep…”

 

***

 

An entire week end without sleep and Lexa was still wondering what to do. If she finally decided to listen to Anya (and her very own reason that had been screaming her to put an end to this mess for months…) she’d cut all her ties with Clarke. On another hand, there was this little voice in her head telling her that this relationship might not be THAT bad. But again her reason told her it was dangerous, especially if they had sex in public plac- “WAIT NO ! The location is not the problem !” she shouted to herself.

It was 7am and Lexa hadn’t stopped pacing since she had found the strength to get out of bed an hour ago. She couldn’t help but think about the evidence that she had tried to avoid for some time now : she had fucking feelings for the wrong person. And not just the wrong person, a girl ten years younger than her. No, even worse, she had feelings for her student. Her STUDENT for fuck’s sake ! These things were only supposed to happen in bad romance movies ! Or, in this very case, in a cheap, twisted, explicit (fanfict- ahem) porno’s two lines long scenario…

“Why me !?” she whined, collapsing on her couch with a groan.

She was tired. Tired of everything. Tired of being scared, tired of her problems at work, tired of asking herself too many questions, tired of trying to be ‘a good person’, tired of doing her best.

Lexa had always been a ‘good kid’. Calm, polite, always having good grades, nice with people, always taking care of her younger siblings, always praised by adults. She remembered how much Costia had used to call her a ‘good girl’, telling her how nice she was, how much she felt at ease with her, how easy it was to talk to her. And Lexa had loved these endearing words. Oh how she had loved them, loved Costia’s gentleness, the warmth of her arms, the softness of her embrace...

So why in hell was she so attracted to Clarke ? The blonde is definitely NOT what people usually call a good girl… Well she wasn’t really entirely bad either. “She’s not really mean or anyth-“ The woman thought for a minute then sighed, shaking her head “Nope. I can’t. She is a bad girl. Can’t defend her, not after everything she did.”

But Clarke wasn’t her main problem. Lexa could’ve stopped it at the very beginning now that she was honest with herself. But she let it happen, endangered herself and Clarke. Why ? A strange feeling tugged at her guts then, a mix of anxiety, stress and fear and she realised that maybe she didn’t want to know the answer after all.

She pulled at her hair “Enough self-psychoanalysing Lexa, think ! What to do ?!”

 

***

 

“Hey”

Clarke stopped in her tracks and swore to herself. She turned back “Finn.”

“Hello princess” he said with a smile, entering her personal space, placing a hand on her hips like he was used to do.

Clarke pulled back, disgust coursing through her body as she was mentally face palming. _Shit I had forgotten about this one.._. And what was he doing here 30 min before the beginning of classes huh !?

“Hi. Um… Sorry, gotta go...” she said before stepping back, putting as much distance as possible between them. But the guy reached for her arm, trapping it in an Iron grip and she knew she couldn’t get out of it with a play of eyelashes and some well-chosen words. Plus, it was time for her to gently tell him to back off. He wasn’t funny enough anymore. “What ?” she almost spat at him, eyebrows knitted together in exasperation. She didn’t have time for this.

“You stopped answering my texts.”

The blonde fought the urge to roll her eyes. She should have known better than that. _Never pick a sentimental one…_ “So what ?” He tugged at her arm with more force than necessary, tightening his grip and Clarke winced “Ouch ! Watch out !” she tried to get her arm back but he was obviously stronger than her.

“You cheating on me ?” He asked, hurt showing on his face.

The girl frowned “Wait what ?” she scoffed “But dude WHO said we were together ?” She saw the boy’s nostrils flare and the rage bubbling under the surface and suddenly she couldn’t resist. _How dare he say that !?_ With a toothy grin she added “YOU were the one cheating on your girlfriend with me !”

He threw her on the lockers and Clarke realised for the first time that the muscles she had enjoyed to touch might not be just good looking. The shock had been strong enough to cut her breath. As she was struggling to breathe, he grabbed her wrists, held them above her head, pinning her against the metallic wall behind.

“I dumped her for you.” He said coldly, expressionless.

Clarke was panting heavily but she scoffed again, immediately regretting her arrogant nature.

“I” Finn slammed his fist right next to Clarke’s head, tightening his grip on her wrist to the point it started to be painful “DID IT” he said louder, hitting the locker again “FOR YOU !” he screamed, his face inches from Clarke’s.

The blonde knew it, it was just intimidation. The boy was as inoffensive as a fawn. But still he was fucking hurting her wrists, he had to pay. She raised her chin defiantly “So what ? I never asked you to” she snarled, looking at him right in the eyes.

“SHUT UP !” he screamed again “You LOVE me !”

It was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. She had fucked with some guys in new York and one of them had asked her out once but damn ! This kind of assumption ? It was a first. She laughed heartedly, her characteristically condescension dripping out of her uncontrollably “Jesus Christ Finn ! Who the hell told you that !?”

“You do. You love me.” He stated.

He was panting in anger now, veins showing on his forehead, knuckles white for one hand and bloody for the other and Clarke’s heart started to race. Why was she so fucking smug dammit ! It didn’t look good this time... She tried to keep her next words to herself, not to play with her luck more than reasonable but failed “Listen, and listen carefully” she said slowly, teeth showing “I have NEVER loved you”

“No.” he shook his head “NO.”

“Yes ! And I never will !” she hissed.

“SHUT. THE FUCK. UP !” he shouted, slamming his fists and Clarke’s wrists against the lockers, sending a metallic noise resound in the empty corridors “You’re lying !”

She shook her head with a wicked grin “Oh I’m saying the truth and I’d rather be fucked by this entire school than falling in love with you !”

He slapped her cheek.

She spat at his face in answer.

He kissed her.

She sent her knee in his crotch with all the strength she could afford.

He fell on the ground, both hands between his legs, face torn in ache.

Clarke raised an eyebrow “Oh, so there might be something down there after all !” she turned her back to him and walked slowly, head held high, smirk on her lips, until the end of the corridor. But as soon as she was sure he couldn’t see her anymore, she released a loud, shaky breath. She looked at her red wrists. She was trembling from head to toe, her heart racing faster than ever. Damn the dude had scared the shit out of her…

“What a creep !”

As soon as she regained control of her legs she ran upstairs, straight to the girl’s bathroom, thankful that nobody was there at this early hour. Well she knew who was there but… she couldn’t go see her in this state. Maybe she could hide her red, burning wrists and her now swollen cheek with some make up and cold water…

 

***

 

Half an hour. Lexa had half an hour to occupy. But how ? For once she didn’t have work since she had used it to occupy her nights and keep herself from thinking too much. She decided she could do some cleaning. She noticed that a thin layer of dust was covering the corners of her desk. How did this happened ? Lexa clicked her tongue. She must have been really distracted these days not to notice how dirty her office was. She rolled her sleeves “Ok, where do we start ?” she asked to herself, a small but playful smile tugging at her lips. She started with her small wooden chest of drawers in which she stocked all of the material she needed (she had ‘enough pencils and papers for at least five years !’ like Clarke loved to say).

A minute later, satisfied by the grey stain on her rag and the shine of the piece of furniture, she turned her attention to the enormous grey metallic, massive, cupboard people had forced her to keep. Apparently she NEEDED it to lock up all the important papers and exams subjects, pretty much like a safe. Lexa stick out her tongue to the ugly thing that was occupying way too much space in her tiny office, ruining the beauty of her other old wooden furniture. She finally turned to the plant in the corner behind her desk.

“Hey Lisa, how have you been ?” she asked with a smile. “Sorry but no water for you today” she said with the authoritarian face she usually kept for kids “No, no, no” she shook her head “You had enough on Friday already, and don’t even try to lie, I know the cleaning ladies spoils you !” She paused for a minute “Wait… did I just… talked to a plant ?” she sighed letting her shoulders fall in despair “I really need sleep.”

She was going to tidy up her desk when something caught her eyes. The curtain next to Lisa was all creased. It bugged her so she arranged it but she’d definitely have to wash and iron it this week end. Then Lexa noticed the fingerprints on the corner of the window. She frowned, when did this appeared ? She squat to have a closer look. Letters ? She breathed against the window to reveal the hidden message. ‘Remember’ with a small heart next to it. Lexa raised an eyebrow. Who in hell could’ve done that ? She shrugged. Probably a child. She was going to open the drawer of her desk where she kept her entire ‘window cleaning tools’ when the door of her office opened.

“Morning, Principal.”

Lexa’s heart forgot to beat for a moment and she was pretty sure she wasn’t just imagining the warmth in her cheeks either.

“Clarke.” She said, bowing her head a little as a greeting “Can I help you ?”

“Yes actually.” The blonde answered with a grin and Lexa swallowed with difficulty as she was trying to repress her smile “I forgot my jacket in the conference room two weeks ago and I wondered if maybe someone had brought it to you” a shiver ran down Lexa’s spine as memories of what had happened with this tell-tale jacket not three days ago in this same room came back into her mind; and a now familiar, not so uncomfortable warmth, spread between her legs way too fast to Lexa’s taste.

Lexa’s cheeks were tainted with a light pink and the corner of her lips tugged in an almost imperceptible smile for who doesn’t know Lexa, and Clarke had to fight really hard not to just cross the room and fuck her right here and there. She had a plan and didn’t know when the perfect conditions would be reunited again. She had to wait and oh how hard it was after more than two weeks without even just looking at that face she liked so much. She put her hands in the pockets of her hoodie, tracing the edges of the blue box with her fingers to remind her the reason she had come here so early.

“I have it.” Lexa nodded to the coatrack.

Clarke smiled and reached for the piece of leather, biting her cheek to hold all the dirty words dancing on her tongue, begging for freedom like never before.

When her palms had started to sweat and her body to tremble, Lexa didn’t know. But what was sure was that she needed to sit. And fast. She reached her desk chair and did her best not to just collapse on it. Shame had seeped deep into Lexa’s bones already but this time it was her own fault entirely and not the result of one of Clarke’s game of manipulation. She had tried not to think too much about the moment she’d have to give back this jacket because she knew she’d want to run away and forget the unspeakable thing she had done. And now it was happening in front of her eyes and she felt so weak… What if she fell on her knees and apologized, voiced all the things she couldn’t say out loud ? Confess ? Yes, maybe she could do that. She could go to the small local church and force a priest to listen to the story of her sins. She thought for a moment. No. She couldn’t do that. She’d give him a heart attack.

“Thanks. To be honest I was kind of desperate. I was pretty sure someone would’ve kept it for themselves. I’m glad you were the one having it” Clarke couldn’t help it. Maybe she couldn’t allow herself to jump on Lexa or mention what she had ‘witnessed’ last week but she could still tease her a little right ? “Thank you for taking care of it.” Clarke said with the most innocent smile she could offer and she literally saw the blood creep from Lexa’s chest to her cheeks and even the extremities of her cute little ears. The blonde didn’t know what she wanted more, laugh or make love to the woman, but in both cases it was hard to hold back, so hard that her body stepped forward on its own volition and didn’t stopped until her thighs bumped into Lexa’s desk.

‘I hope you don’t mind me getting off, just sniffing at it last week’ Lexa thought. “Y- You’re welcome.” she stuttered.

The woman was too cute. Clarke had to get out of here really fast. For the sake of her plan and her own sanity. “I have a present for you.”

Lexa’s eyebrows shot up in surprise and the woman momentarily forgot her embarrassment “Why ?”

“It’s a thank you gift for the attention and help you gave me with my studies.” This was probably the most sincere and less perverted thing Clarke would say that day for sure. Well. ‘Less perverted’ might not be completely true but… “Thank you Lexa.” The girl added, honest. Clarke was thankful of course, Lexa had done more for her than her own mother had done in years, which was kind of sad. She didn’t know how to really thank her though and still didn’t know if Lexa would like to continue whatever the hell they had despite the fact that, apparently, it made her sad sometimes. Yes Clarke hoped it was a ‘sometimes’ thing. She had always enjoyed the tears in the woman’s eyes, and had loved being the reason they were there but last week ? They made her uncomfortable for some reason and she felt like something important would play today.

A different kind of warmth coursed through Lexa’s body then. Something sweet, pleasant and reassuring. She smiled earnestly, happy to help “It’s normal. You’re my student, I can only wish the best for you. Plus, you’re the one working for your future, not me.”

The ‘that’s ‘cause you’re my student’ thing again... It hurt a little to hear but it was the truth and well, Lexa wouldn’t be Lexa without this devotion and ‘professionalism’ so Clarke didn’t pay too much attention. The blonde shook her head “You’re the one that decided to help me depite-“ she paused and averted her eyes, scratching the back of her head nervously. She assumed what she had done completely of course and had no regret. But right now it might be… Just a little bit embarrassing “-despite me being me. So yeah thank you.”

Lexa was surprised, to say the least. She knew the girl was probably way more adult that she appeared to be, but seeing her acting so reasonably and mature… It was a first. “You’re welcome.” She said again but without an ounce of hesitation.

Clarke offered her a sharp nod but something was wrong. The atmosphere was way too serious for the blonde to deal with. Fortunately, the bell rang and Clarke thanked all the gods she knew for the diversion. “Here.” She said, putting the blue box on Lexa’s desk before heading to the door.

“Wait !” Lexa said, extending an arm in front of her out of reflex “What’s this ?”

Clarke paused for an instant, just the time for a large smirk to spread on her face “It’s a surprise. I’ll come back later to show you how it’s used” she said without turning back, closing the door behind her.

Lexa frowned. She opened the small blue plastic box.

“What…?” she said taking the small object in her hand “A… ball ?”

Yes a ball. Perfectly round, made with some kind of very smooth, black plastic. She turned it, analysed it under every angle, trying to decipher what in the world this object had been made for. She agitated it a little and felt it. There was something inside but there was no eventual opening trace. Was that made to be broken ? It would be a shame ! The plastic was really smooth and pleasant to the touch, like some kind of soft cloth, it’d be ridiculous to break it. But then, why was there something inside ?

“Ah ! That’s it !” she exclaimed with a smile as she stood. She kneeled down and sent the ball roll on the ground. When it was about to stop moving, a small impulse made it roll further. Yes, maybe it was some kind of ‘perpetual movement’ thing or whatever nerdy thing kids liked these days.

Content with her reasoning, Lexa returned to her desk, playing with the ball in her hand, still wondering why Clarke had gave her that. She sat, putting the round object on her desk. She looked at it for a minute then reached for it again. She leaned on the back of her chair, looking at the ball in her hands. She made it roll on her palms and fingers and finally she stated “Or it’s an anti-stress thing.” She had read somewhere that round objects were supposed to appease. Yes, an anti-stress ball. It made more sense. She played with it some more before finally looking at her clock. Her eyes opened wide when she realised she had just spent twenty minutes starring at a ball, mind blank.

“Wow this thing is damn effective…”

If Lexa believed in paranormal stuff she would swear that this thing had tried to suck her mind out of her.

She shook her head with a suspicious look, placing the dangerous object back in its box.

 

***

 

That was it. Lexa was pissed now. She had spent her ENTIRE morning wondering what she could do of Clarke’s present and why the blonde had offered it to her without telling her what it had been made for. She had still twenty minutes to wait before the meeting, maybe she could find what this thing was. When she exited the toilets, Lexa had decided that she’d find out about this ball before the next bell rang. Determined she returned to her office but when she opened the door she found a certain blonde already there, comfortably settled in her desk chair, a smirk on her face and the ball in her hands.

Lexa sighed. To think she got all worked up for nothing. Of course Clarke would’ve naturally come at her when she wasn’t expecting it. Clarke was ALWAYS unpredictable. Not like herself apparently… But then the brunette realised “You forced my door !?” she almost shouted, eyes wide in shock at the girl’s nerve.

Clarke frowned “I haven’t forced anything”

“Then how did you get in ? I always lock my door”

The blonde shrugged “I have the keys of course.”

“H- … How did you- wait ! No, you know what ? I don’t want to know” Clarke chuckled, a puckish smile on her lips, her tongue between her teeth, and Lexa rolled her eyes “Why are you here.”

“Isn’t that obvious ?” Clarke stood and Lexa’s heart skipped a beat as the blonde’s smile changed into a smirk she recognized automatically “I was waiting for you of course.” Clarke walked slowly, passing by the desk while tracing its edges with a hand and juggling the ball with the other. “I told you I’d come back, remember ?” she asked raising an eyebrow.

Lexa swallowed and her back straightened as a shiver ran down her spine. She knew those eyes, knew the purpose in them, knew the way Clarke’s lips parted just enough to show some teeth, knew that in an instant the blonde would make a mess out of her. Or maybe not, not this time. The door of her office was right behind her, still wide open, she had just two or three steps back to take and she’d be outside, she could run away. And she would’ve. Months ago she would probably have. But right now the only thing in her mind was the time they had before the meeting and how she could close the door without Clarke thinking she had won.

For a moment Clarke had thought that the woman was going to run away, to rush out of this office and never come back, leaving her behind like so many had done before, thought that the bet she had taken was lost. But Lexa didn’t move. Instead she threw a rapid look at the clock and Clarke knew she had won. The blonde’s smirk of intimidation became a real, mischievous, assured one then and she could feel her blood run faster in her veins. Oh how she would love that and how she was glad she had held back this morning ! When her hand finally left the wooden material, she let both of her arms fall to her sides and bore her eyes in Lexa’s.

The breath Lexa took when dark blue eyes met her own, was sharp and cut short by her beating heart. Her lips then felt as dry as her mouth so she licked them quickly, earning a bobbling throat from Clarke. It was small, barely noticeable, but it had undoubtedly happened. It wasn’t the first time Lexa noticed that she wasn’t the only one affected by these… ‘situations’ but right now it had been obvious and she’d lie if she said she wasn’t at least just a little happy about it.

Clarke’s pace was slow and calculated though and she seemed so assured Lexa couldn’t move a muscle, not even when the blonde passed by her to close the door. Lexa didn’t turned back but when she heard the lock click, a wave of arousal coursed through her in anticipation and she closed her eyes, doing her best to keep her breathing at an even rhythm, trying not to show any kind of desperation.

When Clarke turned back, she was facing Lexa’s back, Lexa’s neck. The woman’s hair were tied in a single braid pulled to the front, over her shoulder, offering Clarke a wonderful view of her neck. The blonde looked at the clock. They had fifteen minutes, she could play a little. Slowly she approached the woman, then stopped, inches from her body, face only millimetres away from Lexa’s nape.

Here it was. What she had secretly been waiting for for almost three, awfully long weeks. The moment Clarke’s warm breath grazed the skin of her nape, Lexa knew. She could stop this, but she wouldn’t. No, she couldn’t. Even if she wanted to, she couldn’t turn away from this, not when it felt so good. Yes, she enjoyed it. She had realised it a couple of months ago but had done just as Anya had said, she had blamed her loneliness and Costia’s absence for this shameful feeling. Last week though the truth appeared to her clearly. Now she knew she was in love with Clarke and she knew that, far from hating what Clarke was doing to her, she had come to like it. Should she tell this to Clarke though ?

“You’re silent” Clarke whispered in Lexa’s ear and as if the girl had read into her mind she added “Don’t tell me…” smirking lips grazed flushed ear “You’ve been waiting for this ?” she paused letting her words sink in “Am I right Lexa ?”

The blonde hadn’t done anything yet but Lexa’s mind was already clouded by her needs and the voice in her head telling her that she shouldn’t be fearing that Clarke rejected her if she said the truth, couldn’t reach her. Indeed. What if the blonde lost interest in her if she submitted ? So easily ? Clarke’s power over her was obvious and had been for a while but Lexa had never admitted it out loud willingly. She knew that for the blonde all of this was just a game though, that Clarke was popular and could have anyone she wanted, make anyone do what she wanted. Why had she chosen Lexa in the first place ? A cold sweat seized her and she shuddered. How in hell hadn’t she thought about that earlier ?! What made HER better than any other random guy or girl ? Of course Clarke could blackmail her and it was probably handy, safer for her but still… What made herself more entertaining for the girl ?

Lexa swallowed, closed her eyes and searched for the words that, she knew it, would burn her throat.

“Of course not. How in hell could someone normal want _that_ ?” Lexa felt Clarke’s body warmth in her back fade and she wanted to cry because lying had never been her type, because the warmth she craved had left and because somehow it was just painful “You’re my student. You have photos. You’re a threat. I can’t say no to you.” The woman didn’t know what hurt more, the fact that she was refusing herself what she wanted or that every single word she had said were true.

The blonde took a step back. Clarke knew it, knew Lexa didn’t mean it, that her words were hollow. Yes she was sure of it, these words were hollow but she couldn’t help the ache in her chest, couldn’t help the way her stomach sank, like weighted by a hundred pebbles, reminding her how many times she had torn up her pockets as a child from the heaviness of the rocks she had loved to collect. But in a matter of second, the hurt passed, replaced by an entirely different feeling : anger. How dared she !? How dared she act so distant and unconcerned after being so- ?!

Clarke growled and violently pulled at Lexa’s braid from behind, forcing the woman to arch her back, earning a pained moan “On your knees” she hissed and the woman obeyed. “Good girl.” The blonde’s hand left Lexa’s scalp to throw the two chairs between the woman and her desk on the side. She pushed everything on Lexa’s desk and smirked at the surprised anger in the woman’s eyes. Clarke knew how much unnecessary mess was annoying for Lexa but she hadn’t had to use it against her in weeks and the blonde surprised herself for feeling hurt at that, at the fact that the woman had pushed her far enough that she’d have to mess up her stuff, probably breaking something in the process. Clarke sat on the desk and crossed her legs “Take off my boot.”

Lexa’s scalp was in fire, the pull had been too violent on her already tightly tied hair. Clarke had always been rough and mean but something was wrong. She hadn’t hurt the woman in a while. But the way she had grabbed her hair, the pain it caused was way too familiar and Lexa hated it. Still she did as asked. She stepped forward on all four and sat in front of Clarke to undo her shoe. As she was untying the laces she threw a rapid look to the blonde’s face and she froze when their eyes met. There was a fire in the blue that Lexa didn’t recognized and it felt like an ice cold shower, replacing Lexa’s impatience by fear. When was the last time the girl had made her feel this bad ?

“Hurry.”

Clarke’s order cut through Lexa’s thoughts like a knife, bringing her back to a reality she didn’t like.

The blonde could feel it, could feel the change in Lexa’s behaviour, could see how frightened she was, the light trembling of her hands but she didn’t care. She was hurt, so she would hurt. “Sock” she ordered coldly when her boot finally left her foot.

Again Clarke’s tone was sharp and scary. Scary. Clarke was scaring her. Lexa’s body was shivering but not in a way she liked. How ? How in a matter of second everything had turned out like this ? Lexa had waited for this, waited to have a moment with Clarke for weeks, waited to feel her hands and lips on her skin but all she was earning were a cold and lonely, heavy atmosphere, a glare and an unbearable distance between her and the girl. Clarke felt so far, so unattainable on this desk…

“My sock Lexa !” Clarke spat.

Startled, Lexa’s heart jumped in her chest. She swallowed the lump in her throat and slipped her trembling hands into the leg of Clarke’s pants, looking for the hem of the grey sock. When she found it she slipped her fingertips between the elastic cloth and the skin and started to pull down.

Then it hit her.                                                                                                                           

Maybe Clarke wasn’t so out of reach after all.

Clarke noticed immediately. She saw the scared green eyes turn dark, saw the shuddering body still and tense, heard the shaky breath steady itself, felt the nails grazing her skin. Lexa’s movements were way too slow and calculated, controlled, and Clarke realised she was losing the upper hand. She had to do something, to remind Lexa what was her place. The blonde gripped the edge of the desk but instead of kicking Lexa in the face for being too slow like she should, she just raised her chin, lowered her voice and ordered “Lick.”

Lexa repressed a smile. For once she was getting what she wanted. She let the sock fall on the ground and reached for Clarke’s heel with a hand. She bent down a little but looked up, right into blue eyes. Slowly she lifted Clarke’s foot to her face without breaking eye contact and saw the blonde’s jaw lock. When the top of Clarke’s foot reached Lexa’s lips, the woman closed her eyes and kissed the tender skin, slowly, purposefully and the blonde had to take a deep breath and concentrate not to hum in satisfaction at the delighting sight. With each wet, open-mouthed kiss, Lexa knew she was taking away Clarke’s wrath bit by bit, replacing it by the sexual hunger she was craving, and it felt good, good to be active for once.

As she was biting the thin skin, Lexa looked up to Clarke and the blonde’s breath got caught in her throat as an almost surreal wave of arousal washed through her. She bit her tongue, fighting the urge to join Lexa on the floor and fuck her. Maybe that’s what she should’ve done in the first place, maybe that’s what she should do, why hadn’t she fucked her already huh ? _Oh yeah…_ Clarke remembered the ball in her pocket and threw a look at the clock. Three minutes. If her estimations were good, worried Anya should arrive in five. She should be starting to work on Lexa now but…

Lexa heard a clear, barely repressed whine when she sucked on Clarke’s thumb. Slowly, she ran her hand up the blonde’s calf, noticing how smooth the skin was and loving the way Clarke’s toes curled. Lexa took her time, running her tongue on the skin in her mouth, feeling the edges of the nail, sucking and biting. When she decided that she was done with the thumb, she slipped her tongue between two fingers and Clarke jumped with a moan. When Lexa looked up, the blonde’s eyes were focused on a wall, the back of her left hand was on her mouth while her left one was gripping at the wooden edge so hard her knuckles had turned white. Had she found one of the blonde’s weak points ?

The whole scene was supposed be a punishment, supposed to be humiliating for Lexa but instead, the woman seemed way too happy to comply and  Clarke was discovering herself a foot fetish she didn’t know she had. Well she had always been ticklish, something that Croquette, her dog, had understood years ago and had loved to use against her when she didn’t want to get out of bed, but this ? This was new. The simple idea of Lexa kneeled in front of her waiting for orders was enticing but Clarke had to admit that her foot in the woman’s mouth didn’t feel bad either. If she was being honest, she’d say that she was starting to love it. _Maybe a little bit too much._

Lexa sucked at three fingers at the same, biting down a little, letting a small, playful moan resound in her throat and Clarke’s eyes opened wide as her other food kicked the desk.

_Way too much !_

Clarke reluctantly took her foot out of Lexa’s mouth, careful not to hurt her, and placed the tip under the woman’s chin, lifting it enough for their eyes to meet. The blonde cleared her throat “Enough. Up.” God only knows how she managed to talk but she did and Lexa obeyed. The woman stood, eyes dark and half closed, towering the girl, looking at her expectantly, waiting for the next order and Clarke swallowed audibly as a shiver coursed through her. She blonde licked her lips nervously. How was she losing !? She had to find something, she had to- Then an idea flashed in her mind and she grinned “Your pants, down.” She commanded, her voice husky and low, earning a small jump of surprise from the woman.

Lexa’s heart skipped a beat. She had never undressed in front of Clarke, not by herself. Her confidence disappeared in a blink of an eye. She had done WAY worse than taking off her pants so why was she so embarrassed ? With trembling hands, she unbuttoned of her jeans and slid the zipper open. She threw a rapid look at Clarke and recognized that mischievous and smug smirk that was so familiar, and butterflies found their way to her belly. Suddenly, her clothes became uncomfortable, too tight, too hot. She slid her thumbs under the hem of her pants and underwear and hesitated only a second before pulling down. The moment her the material of her panties left her centre, Lexa noticed. She was wet. But not the kind of wet that meant you had had some weird thoughts, no, it was the kind of wet screaming ‘fuck me now’ and Lexa felt even hotter. Of embarrassment or excitement, god only knows.

 _Yes !_ Clarke was leading again, finally starting her plan and damn Lexa was apparently more into it than the blonde had thought she’d be. She straightened her back, raising an eyebrow “I never said anything about your underwear but… as you wish.” Clarke couldn’t help but grin widely as, in an instant, all of the blood left in the non-exposed parts of Lexa’s body creeped to her cheeks. A caring Lexa was pleasant, a thirsty Lexa was endearing, a dominant Lexa was hot but an embarrassed Lexa ? The best. Clarke stood and fell on her knees between Lexa’s legs. If they had time, she’d take that annoying jeans out of the way but Anya could be there any time now. She didn’t have time to lose anymore so she went directly to her goal.

Lexa couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped her lips when Clarke’s mouth closed around her shamelessly erected clit. Immediately, one of her hand reached for the desk and the other tangled in blond locks. The girl’s movements were hurried but Lexa had been waiting for this for too long to care. Then two fingers quickly slipped between wet folds and Lexa’s hips jerked. The girl started to thrust in and out at a steady rhythm and the woman’s shame grew at how desperate she must have been for her orgasm to be so close already. Her inner walls started to clench in rhythm, her muscles  doing their best to keep Clarke inside, clenching and sucking as hard as possible until… Until a knock.

“Lexa ? You still in there ?”

Lexa froze as the corner of Clarke’s lips curled up. ‘ _Finally ! Gotta buy you a new watch Ann-oyia, you’re definitely late !_ ’ the blonde thought.

“Y-Yes, I’m coming !”

Clarke snorted at the word, holding back her laugh and Lexa clicked her tongue. She turned to the door and said “Give me just a minu-UTE !”

Lexa’s voice failed her when she felt something way too large and foreign enter her. Brows furrowed, she looked at Clarke with half panicked, half questioning eyes, silently asking what the hell the girl had just shoved inside her vagina ?!

But Clarke just grinned and mouthed ‘Clench’. Lexa’s body obeyed on its own volition and the blonde’s hand left her crotch to pull the woman’s pants and underwear up in record time (that might have been really impressive in other conditions).

“What are you doing !?” Lexa whispered in shock, heart racing in her chest as she was fearing to understand.

The blonde smirked, buttoned up the woman’s jeans, grabbed her hips, made her turn back, face the door and whispered, lips against the shell of Lexa’s ear “Told you I’d show you how it worked.” Right after, Clarke unlocked and opened the door, jumping to the side to hide from Anya, not letting the poor Lexa the time to understand the deep shit she had just been thrown in.

“Are you ok ?” Lexa’s cousin asked with a frown, surprised more than suspicious for once “Your face is red…”

Lexa shook her head, more to clear her mind than answer to Anya and said “Yes. Yes I’m alright. I was just- I was-“ _Was what ? Was what ?! Think Lexa !_ “I was tiptoeing on a chair to clean up the top of the safe and almost fell down !”

“Oh ok. Well good thing you didn’t fell then. Anyway, we’re running late, come on.”

If Anya suspected something she didn’t show it and Lexa never thought she’d thank the forced training she had received (thanks to Clarke…) one day. She had unfortunately become used to fake and play unaffected. To say she was an expert might be an exaggeration but she could at least be considered as a professional. But Anya had the bad idea to grab Lexa’s arm, pulling her forward. The woman took a forced step then stopped, her feet glued to the ground and Anya turned to her “What is it ?”

“I- I can walk on my own, thank you” she said a little too harshly.

“Wow ok, ok. You on your period or what ?”

Oh this time she was sure of it, Lexa would kill Clarke. She would go to this meeting and kill Clarke when she comes back. The meeting room was two corridors away only but Lexa knew it would be a challenge. Why ? Because she could feel it, she could feel what she assumed was Clarke’s present inside of her. She felt full and it was hard to close her legs and she couldn’t even imagine how it would feel if she walked. So THAT was what the blonde had had in mind the whole time ?

Lexa saw two hands clap in front of her face “Ground to Lexa, ground to Lexa ! What the fuck are you doing looking at your feet like that ? Have you listened to me ? We’re late !”

“Yes sorry.” Lexa answered. She took a hesitant, trembling step forward and a shiver ran down her spine. She could feel the ball with each movement she was making and her stupid walls were clenching in rhythm, still trying to adapt to this intruder. She started to walk, looking right in front of her, trying to ignore the hard plastic thing filling her. She failed of course and when she stumbled over nothing and almost fell on the ground she squealed loudly, making Anya turn back again and raise a desperate eyebrow.

“I- I just- I almost fell on… something. Whatever, we’re late.” Lexa managed to say before picking up her pace, taking larger steps, feeling the ball move inside her a little bit more, holding back a whine or two, because even if it was uncomfortable it also felt incredible.

The thing was not too big nor too small, it fitted her so well she suspected that Clarke had managed (who knows how) to take some measurement before buying that ball. Or it was just Lexa trying to find a rational explanation to why her body enjoyed this situation so much. When she reached the door of the meeting room after an unending ten meters long corridor, she released the breath she had been holding for way too long and Anya threw her a weird look.

The principal opened the door and the twelve teachers already sitting in the room turned to her at the same time. They were looking at her. They were looking at her while she had something stuck in her cunt. What if they guessed what was happening ? After all, her face was probably red as a tomato, her hair messy and she knew some sweat was probably running on her neck. Lexa’s stomach knotted in shame but the muscles of her vagina twitched again and she was pretty sure that if she hadn’t bit her cheek she would’ve screamed. Or cried. Or both. _Relax Lexa. You fooled Anya, you can do this._

 “I’m sorry I’m late. The clock on my wall broke” she said, realising how dry her mouth was and feeling her inner walls clench again in response to the muscles she had used to speak. If even the simple act of talking had such an effect… If she survived this, she’d kill Clarke. With a little spoon, to make it long and painful.

“It’s fine. Five minutes is nothing” Luna, the literature teacher said with a smile while Indra scoffed, as usual.

Lexa swallowed, gathering the strength she’d need to reach her seat. Four steps. It was just four steps. At the first step she pictured Clarke dead at the end of a rope. At the second step, the blonde was on the ground in underwear, cut in half. At the third step, she was naked, lying in her bathtub full of red water. When Lexa took her last step she cursed in her head as images of Clarke’s naked body, squirming, chained to a bed flooded her mind. _The little spoon. Stick to the little spoon._

Finally she sat. And stifled moaned when her butt met the tender material that was her chair. She stilled immediately, waiting for her insides (all of it, muscles, heart, everything) to calm down.

Anya had sat next to her and Quint, history teacher, had started to talk but Lexa couldn’t tell about what. Her ears were deaf, her pulse muffling any other sound, her crotch was burning, and her eyes were stinging, tears menacing to come out as she tried desperately to distract herself from what was happening inside her disobedient body. She’d give everything she had to just get out of here. Or no, better, go back to her office and murder a certain someone.

“Principal ?” at that Lexa snapped back to reality with a strangled, way too high-pitched ‘Mhm ?’ “Why did you want to see us ?”

Lexa gulped as discretely as possible, connecting as many neurones as she could, trying to remember why the hell she had planned this fucking meeting “I wanted to talk about Miss Reyes, Mr Green and Mr Jordan.” Lexa was proud of herself. She had sounded so normal she thought she deserved a medal. “We can deal with childish pranks but she bugged Anya’s office and who knows what else but since she’s not my student, I don’t know her and I don’t want to take any drastic decision without knowing her entire story.”

“I know her.” Selina, informatics teacher, said “She is not a bad kid, she’s just too creative. She’s bored in class because she’s too intelligent and-“ Lexa blacked out then, her mind completely disconnecting from reality. She had had the really bad idea to move, to adjust her awkwardly stiff position.

She was starting to understand the purpose of what was ‘inside’ the ball. The… toy (?) in itself wasn’t THAT disturbing now that Lexa’s insides were getting used to it and it wasn’t moving or anything so it was bearable, hard to ignore, but bearable. The only problem was the little thing inside the ball that was moving with each breath Lexa was taking or each little movement she made, constantly reminding her that it was still there, reminding her that not ten minutes ago Clarke’s head was between her thighs. Also, the vibrations. Every movement was sending light vibrations inside her. The thing is that it wasn’t a sensation coming from outside of her like she was used to, no, it was coming from deep inside her, from her very core and the feeling was foreign, making her even more self-conscious of her situation.

So when she changed position in her seat, the tiny vibrations added to the feeling of her way too tight jeans squeezing her crotch in the best way possible and a loud whimper escaped her. A real fucking whimper… Anya turned to her, a mix of surprise, embarrassment, and curiosity painted on her face and a second later the rest of the teachers offered her the same kind of ‘did she just…?’ look. Instantly a wave of warmth submerged Lexa entirely, she hadn’t felt so mortified in her entire life. She had to find something, and fast.

“I’m sorry I’m just-“ and then it hit her and she smiled a little at hr own genius “just hiccups, please go on Selina.” Everyone turned back to the teacher like nothing happened and Lexa decided that she didn’t deserved a medal for this one but a fucking trophy since even Anya bought it (she was still grateful that her cousin was in a good day though). She realised she might have been a little bit too enthusiastic because she jumped on her seat having forgotten the state of her lower body and another ‘hiccup’ resounded loudly in her throat. This time though, people stayed concentrated on whatever the hell Selina was rambling about and only Anya turned to her cousin, holding out a bottle of water to her.

When Lexa took the bottle Anya leaned closer to her and whispered “Buy yourself another hiccup sound honey ‘cause this one shouldn’t be heard in public…”

Now Lexa just wanted to cry. She had obviously, clearly, openly moaned in front of her subordinates and colleagues and Clarke was dead. Entirely, completely, overly dead. Lexa took a sip of Anya’s bottle and almost moaned again at the relieving sensation. The water was cold, so cold compared to her overheated body… So overheated that for a moment Lexa had feared the delicious liquid would evaporate in her throat.

When she finally put the bottle back on the table, the poor thing was half empty and she saw Anya’s eyes widen at that. _‘Sorry Anny I’ll buy you another one later…’_ She tried to move again, more carefully this time, to find a position in which her jeans weren’t amazingly pressing on her clit. She was still wriggling on her chair when something caught her attention.

“… Clarke Griffin”

Her hips jumped at the name and she stifle a moan as what she had tried to avoid happened. She had distinctly felt the sewing of her jeans dig in her crotch. Clarke had done her job perfectly as usual. This ball was nothing more than a way to keep Lexa’s inside wide awake. The thing in itself was not even pleasurable, it was just there, like a switch stuck on ‘ON’ mode…

“Are you ok Principal ?” Indra asked “Your face is really flushed.”

Lexa’s heart stopped in her chest at Indra’s low voice. She adjusted herself in her very uncomfortable seat and crossed her legs, trying to ignore that her pants were being mean again. “It’s nothing.” She swallowed in a vain attempt to bring back some wetness the Sahara that was her mouth (even after half a (tiny) bottle of water) “It’s hormonal. The doctor said it’s because I’m tired. There’s nothing to worry about.” This wasn’t making any sense anymore but fuck it, she couldn’t care less. All she wanted now was for this meeting to end.

Anya frowned in inevitable worry and Lexa wished that for once her cousin didn’t care so much for her “You want to go home ? We can finish this without you if you want ?”

 _YES !_ Yes Lexa wanted to go home. But unfortunately she was the principal, she couldn’t decently go home like that, she had responsibilities. She hid her trembling hands under the table and squeezed her knees hard, to keep her brain functioning a little bit longer “No, *I* requested this meeting. I have to be here Anya but thank you.” Lexa tried to smile but failed and Anya opened her mouth to talk again but Quint cut her.

“About Clarke Griffin-“

 

*Fire alarm ringing*

 

All the teachers stood, dividing the tasks and Lexa might have been able to think ‘saved by the bell’ if this tell-tale ‘bell’ wasn’t actually screaming her that her dear school was burning somewhere. Her dear school with her even dearest office.

Her office.

Then it hit her and she stood in one move.

Clarke !

The alarm near Lexa’s office had been broken for months and she had always reported its reparation because of money issues but what if-

She stormed out of the room, walking rapidly in her office direction when Anya grabbed her wrist “Hey, where are you going !?”

“I’ll try to find where the fire is !”

“What !?”

“I don’t want the entire school to burn ! I want to save as many things I can ! Take care of the kids !”

By chance Anya let her go without causing problem, knowing Lexa’s attachment to these walls and that she couldn’t win against her cousin anyway.

Lexa almost ran to her office and realised with horror as she was approaching her goal that she could barely hear the alarm from there and her heart stopped in her chest. When she reached the door she opened it violently “Clarke !” she had been right the blonde was there “Clarke come on ! Get out now, there is fi-“ Lexa’s last word died before it reached her lips when she saw Clarke, sitting cross-legged on her desk, a victorious grin on her lips and a lighter in her hand.

A lighter.

Did she …?

Lexa let herself fall on her knees in a long, relieved sighed. Her school wasn’t burning. Clarke was safe. Wait… NO. She was anything but safe since the woman was about to murder her. Lexa raised her head and threw her angriest look at the blonde, pointing a finger at her “You…” She tried to stand but her legs didn’t want to work. She extended her legs and looked at her body then and finally noticed that she was trembling from head to toe. “Shit Clarke ! You scared me to death do you reali-“ When the blonde had come down from the desk and kneeled between Lexa’s legs, the woman had no idea. What she knew was that the blonde’s lips were on hers and for a moment she was happy. Until she remembered what the brat had done. She pushed Clarke back and tried again “Clarke I was worried ! Why !?”

Clarke had waited for this question (even if she didn’t like the dark angry glare Lexa was throwing her) so she smirked and took her radio out of her pocket. “It seemed like you were struggling out there so I decided to free you.”

Lexa’s brows furrowed more than never and she asked “What do you mean ?”

Clarke smiled widely “I heard eeeeeverything ! Your meeting I mean” then her smile changed into a proud smirk “Your ‘hiccups’ were adorable by the way” she winked but Lexa didn’t even blush, she was just frozen and the blonde could literally see her neurones working, trying to understand. Clarke stood to close and lock the door and when she came back to Lexa the woman asked “How ?”

“You can thank Raven for this little toy. She made it especially for me ! I couldn’t send you into the bear’s den without having a plan B in case of your legendary stamina failed you.” She said before kissing Lexa again. The woman didn’t react though, still processing what had just happened and Clarke chuckled.

Lexa couldn’t believe it. It was just too twisted for her little mind to decipher. Clarke, had planned everything as always, even the most terrible things. Lexa should be mad, really she should. But all she could feel was relief.

When Lexa palmed her cheek with a smile, Clarke’s heart stopped and her smile dropped. “I’m glad you’re safe.” The woman said tenderly and damn now the girl felt guilty. Clarke was fucking feeling guilty. She felt her cheeks heat up a little and didn’t know what to do. Lexa hadn’t said anything and yet she felt guilty. It wasn’t her type to make excuses so she was just there sitting on the floor between Lexa’s legs without knowing what to do.

Puppy eyes. Guilty puppy eyes, Lexa couldn’t describe Clarke’s expression differently. She had never seen the girl like that, never. And she hadn’t even scolded her yet… Was it a trick from the girl ? So that she can escape the ‘divine punishment session’ ? Lexa wasn’t sure. But she was too tired to fight now. Her little adrenalin rush had sucked her energy out of her and she just wanted to lie down. What she did, obviously surprising Clarke.

Lexa had just lied down flat on the ground. On the fucking ground. Lexa. On the dirt. Ok something was wrong. “Um… Lexa ?” she said hesitantly, moving forward on all four so that her face could be above Lexa’s. The woman’s eyes were closed and she was smiling peacefully. “Lexa” she tried again, poking the woman’s right boob.

Of course. When people would have chosen a cheek or a shoulder or who knows, even a hip, Clarke would choose her breast. Lexa chuckled and opened her eyes. Chemistry was an amazing thing and hormones were even more. The past hour had been such an emotional rodeo that now she felt completely high. Not that she knew how it felt to be high of course but still. “Don’t do this again ok ?” she asked, looking into worried blue eyes. Clarke reminded her of her little brothers. When they were little kids and that they played ‘war’, Lexa would always act as if she was dead and the very first time she did, her brothers cried because they thought they had really hurt her. It was the same kind of emotion she could read in those blue eyes and somehow it was touching. Touching but also a reminder of Clarke’s age. She would stop that. She couldn’t permit those dangerous things to happen anymore. Today, would be the last time.

Lexa cleared her throat and averted her eyes, her cheeks tainting in pink almost immediately. “Could you… Could you take it out ?” She asked timidly and Clarke gulped. Lexa had asked for it. She wasn’t dreaming, Lexa had really asked for it. It took everything Clarke had in her not to jump and dance. Instead, she kissed Lexa’s jaw, then licked her ear, taking her time to suck at her lobe and nibble at the soft skin behind the shell of her ear, earning a contented hum. Clarke smiled, Lexa had the cutest ears she had ever seen and she was grateful that it was one of the woman’s weak points because she just LOVED to tease her ears.

After her ear, Clarke kissed Lexa’s lips and the woman stifled a moan. She had been waiting for this for too long and her body raised automatically from the ground, trying to get closer from the one above her. Clarke chuckled in her mouth and licked at her bottom lip. Everything was so gentle and patient… it felt almost weird. Sure Lexa had wanted Clarke but somehow, it wasn’t what she was looking for. What she had been expecting ? Teeth digging into her flesh, hands pulling at her hair and dark, wicked eyes.

Clarke frowned when Lexa bit her tongue but it wasn’t playful. It hurt a little and it wasn’t normal, not for Lexa. Normal ? Then Clarke realised. _What the hell am I doing ! Fuck !_ She groaned before crashing her lips back on Lexa’s, earning a surprised moan. Then she left the woman’s lips to kiss her way to Lexa’s pulse point and suck hard, marking her, a habit she had adopted months ago. She felt Lexa squirm a little underneath her and she smirked. She had trained her well. If Lexa liked it rough and shameful, Clarke would give it to her.

When Lexa felt the blonde’s breath on her ear again she knew it wouldn’t be like earlier and her heart started to race when the words she wanted came out “What do you want Lexa ?” The woman couldn’t see it but she knew Clarke was grinning, knew the way the corner of her lips were curling and the heat between her legs came back. Lexa licked her lips, preparing her next words, fighting a satisfied smile “Take it out”

“Take what out ?” Clarke insisted, tone innocent and Lexa had to clench her thighs as her arousal was coming back with vigour.

The blonde saw Lexa swallow and lick her lips, eyes unfocused, and knew the woman would say exactly what she wanted “The ball”

“Which ball Lexa ?” Clarke whispered lips still brushing against the woman’s ear and goosebumps rose on Lexa’s flushed, shivering skin.

“The one you gave me, take it out.”

Clarke pulled back and when she bore her eyes into green ones, Lexa’s heart stopped in her chest. Here it was. The expression she loved, the dark, stormy, savage eyes, the wicked grin, the pretentious and condescending behaviour she had learned to love. She knew her lips were trembling when she asked in a weak voice “Take the ball you gave me out of my vagina… Please”

Lexa had even pleaded ! Clarke had to resist the urge to rip the woman’s shirt off her but they were still at school and she hadn’t time to play with her like she’d like anyway. So she’d just give the woman what she wanted. And just maybe a little bit more…

“Fine. Since you’ve been a nice girl, I will help you.” Clarke said with a smile, way too innocent, sending another wave of arousal through Lexa’s body and she had to bit her cheeks to keep herself from begging the girl to hurry. “But… I’m sure Anya is worried for you…”

Anya. Lexa had completely forgotten. She moved to get up but Clarke pinned her down, maintaining her shoulder on the ground almost painfully “Clarke I need to call her !” Lexa managed to exclaim.

Clarke smiled gently, grabbed her phone and lent it to Lexa. “Call her.”

Lexa thanked the girl with a smile and dialled the number. When Clarke heard the “Lexa where the hell are you !?” she unbuttoned Lexa’s pants and took them off violently in a single move, making sure that her nails dug into the smooth skin of the woman’s thighs.

A surprised ‘Ah’ escaped Lexa’s mouth and she heard Anya ask “What !? What happened !?”

“Nothing, really. I um…” apparently Lexa’s destiny for the day was to lie to pretty much everyone and with each lie she was discovering that she wasn’t so bad at this for someone with little to no experience in that area “It was a false alarm.”

Lexa gulped when she felt Clarke pull down her ruined underwear and shivered as cold air grazed her dripping wet core.

“Yes thank you, I figured that much ! But where are you !”

When Clarke’s teeth met the sensitive skin of her inner thigh, Lexa bit her bottom lip to hold back the moan that threatened to escape any moment.

“I’m outside” she managed to say, trying to ignore the delighting pain Clarke’s teeth digging in her flesh was procuring her “I saw a masked kid run away and followed him.”

Clarke pulled back from Lexa’s thigh enough throw a rapid glance at her work. It would bruise. And stay for two weeks at least. Proud, she kissed her way up to Lexa’s dripping crotch. When she reached her goal, Lexa’s legs parted on their own and Clarke grinned.

“You ran after a delinquent !? Are you insane !? You know you could’ve-”

But Lexa couldn’t hear Anya’s rambling, her mind was too focused on Clarke’s tongue, lapping at her folds like it was the most delicious thing in the world. It was hard not to scream as the girl was teasing her, concentrating on her labia when Lexa wanted her a little higher. The woman grabbed Clarke’s hair with her free hand and pulled, in an attempt to make the girl give her what she wanted. She heard the blonde chuckle and knew she had lost.

Clarke chuckled when the woman pulled at her hair. _So impatient…_ The blonde pulled back enough to be able to talk and she whispered “When I squeeze, you push ok ?” She saw Lexa give her a sharp nod and she couldn’t help but smirk at how obedient the woman had become. _I did an amazing job there !_

Clarke resumed her precedent activity and Lexa’s annoying cousin’s complaining wasn’t finished yet. Lexa would have rolled her eyes if she had been able to control her body, all of her energy being dedicated to staying silent despite the amazing feeling between her legs and the successive waves of pleasure washing threw her at Clarke’s every movement.

“-and so it was dangerous ! You could’ve been killed !”

“It was a child Anya” Lexa was about to continue and make her cousin shut her mouth for good but Clarke finally squeezed her thigh and Lexa did as said. She contracted her muscles and pushed. The ball came out easily with a small ‘plop’ and the feeling was incredible. Her back arched and her walls started to flutter at the loss and Lexa had to put a hand on her gaping mouth to hold back all the noises that were waiting in the back of her throat.

Clarke had retrieved the ball in her mouth and slowly she moved to face Lexa again. The eyes of the woman were completely dark and hooded and Clarke could swear she had never seen Lexa so sexy before. She leaned down, grabbing Lexa’s jaw, forcing the ball in her mouth.

Out of instinct Lexa traced the object with her tongue, tasting herself, and a moan finally broke free.

“What ? What was that ?”

Lexa sighed and saw Clarke rolled her eyes and shook her head. She reluctantly pulled the ball out of her mouth and said “You’re tiring Anya. I’m fine, I’ll be back in no time, take care of the kids for me and see you later.”

“Wait Lex-“

Lexa hung up and the moment the phone left her ear, Clarke’s lips closed around her clit and she couldn’t help but scream the girl’s name.

Hearing her name on the woman’s tongue was the only encouragement Clarke needed. She started to suck hard, occasionally flicking her tongue at different paces on Lexa’s clit, each time earning a satisfying moan, or a buckle of hip. Clarke couldn’t put her fingers inside. She knew by experience that it wouldn’t feel good right away. She would make Lexa come with her mouth and her mouth only, and would brag about it later.

Lexa could feel her insides clench and suck and twitch around nothing and it was frustrating. She had gotten used to having something inside and now she felt empty. Still her hips were uncontrollably jerking at an incoherent rhythm, obvious evidence of her impatience and desperation. Desperation that inevitably led to orgasm. Clarke hadn’t even been working on her for ten minutes that Lexa was already hanging on the edge. But of course the girl had slowed her pace, of course she wouldn’t let her come so soon and it just added to Lexa’s excitement.

Clarke could do this her entire life without getting bored. It was her conclusion after long minutes of teasing, letting Lexa approach orgasm then breaking her pace to keep her on the edge for as long as possible until the woman couldn’t take it anymore.

“Clarke- Clarke please” Lexa finally panted and Clarke grinned between her thighs.

“Clarke please what ?” the blonde mumbled against Lexa’s clit and the woman bit her lip.

Lexa was desperate. She couldn’t do this any longer, her body was aching everywhere, she needed release, it was the point of no return, the point she liked, the point when she could do nothing more but beg so she whined “Please make me c-“

As usual, Clarke didn’t let her finish and she bit down on Lexa’s nub before soothing the pain with her tongue, drawing small circles around it. Lexa came almost instantly. Clarke knew the woman had a thing for bites and somehow it worked every fucking single fucking time.

Lexa came hard. She didn’t know if it was because it was the first time Clarke was touching her in three weeks or because the blonde had been particularly good but she felt like she hadn’t come like that in years. Obviously she screamed Clarke’s name, glad she didn’t have to keep her voice down for once.

The girl was decided to make Lexa’s orgasm as long as possible so she continued to nibble and suck at her clit until the woman’s body stopped moving and her voice died to be replaced by small whimpers and heavy panting. Clarke kissed her way up Lexa’s body over her clothes before kissing her on her lips.

Lexa could taste herself again on Clarke’s tongue but this time it was bitter and something broke deep inside her and she felt hot tears escape her eyes uncontrollably. Slowly she took the lead of the kiss (surprisingly Clarke let her), running her tongue on the blonde’s lips then tracing the edges of her teeth before gently brushing the girl’s tongue with her own. It was the first time; for the first time Lexa had the complete control, Lexa was really kissing Clarke. And for the last time, Lexa was really kissing Clarke.

_I’m sorry Clarke but this is for the best…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this Lexa is being completely honest. She can appear a little bit too open-minded and willing and submitted in this chapter but that's just because she's not the type to reject a feeling she recognized. 
> 
> Wanna talk to me ? Come find me here http://mimillekoishi.tumblr.com/


	9. She thought she could

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They'll melt your heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First : I am so, so, so, so deeply sorry for being so late guys. you cannot even imagine how sad I was when I found myself unable to update this story. 
> 
> Second : this story took an unexpected turn (at ch4, mainly) and is now far from what I had in mind when I first started this story. At first this fic was supposed to be in the same kind of spirit than my latest story 'You know why'. So I had a big writer block. Because this story was not what I had wanted it to be. I still like it of course and I enjoyed writing this chapter but it took me time to accept that in those past few months my writing level had improved a lot, making the rest of the story appear poorly written to me, and that this story would never be the 'Wicked game' I had in mind. This being said, I'm not giving up and may rewrite this story one day (no I won't delete this one).
> 
> Third : In the precedent chapters Lexa kind of admitted her feelings then tried to repress them again. In this one she will realise something else that will change everything. Or will it ?
> 
> Fourth : thank you all for your support and love. Thanks for enduring my terrible update rhythm without complaining (well you did but I still love you) and being for being there.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter (it's long. Very long.) and that I'll see you again in chapter 10 ;)

**MONDAY**

 

“ _Tell me what you want Lexa…” Clarke whispered against the shell of Lexa’s ears in her so characteristically teasing tone, slowly unbuttoning the woman’s shirt. Lexa swallowed hard and tried to speak but her mouth was too dry, sandy, and no word came out so she tried to lean her cheek on Clarke’s in search of contact, contact she felt like she had been craving for her entire life. But Clarke dodged and pulled back. With a wicked grin the blonde undid the last button and insisted “Tell me”_

_Lexa squirmed on her chair underneath the girl, pulling just a little more at the ropes digging in the flesh of her wrists and ankles. Her torturer had done her job well, Lexa couldn’t move, she was glued to the wooden chair of a student, in this, for now, empty classroom. Ah how powerful Clarke seemed, straddling her lap but keeping as much distance as she could between the woman’s now almost bare torso and hers, and how Lexa loved it. How good it felt to admit it. Even just to herself._

“ _T- Touch-“ Lexa managed to stutter in a silent whine as the blonde’s hand was hovering right over the woman’s abdomen._

“ _What ?” Clarke pointed to her ear feigning incomprehension “What did you say ?”_

“ _Clarke please…” Lexa moaned, her eyes wet an pleading, just like she knew the girl liked them._

_As expected Clarke smirked and leaned down. Lexa shivered and her eyes closed at the delicious feeling of the blonde’s cheek brushing against her own._

_Clarke grinned “’Clarke please’ what ?”_

_The woman whined when the words she had been waiting for grazed the sensitive skin of her way too hot ear and she took a shaky breath in hope that some new air could help her focus just enough to voice her desire. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, surprisingly unsure of what to say. She knew she wouldn’t have the strength to say more than one word or two and she had to choose wisely. Then it became clear and the sounds spilled out of her mouth before she could even think to stop them “Kiss me.”_

_Clarke just pulled back and smiled “As you wish principal.” She said with a chuckle before leaning in again, maintaining eye contact._

_Lexa’s heart was beating faster with each centimeter disappearing from the space between their bodies and when finally Lexa could feel the blonde’s breath on her lips the pulsing muscle stopped. Then Clarke kissed her and everything went blank_.

 

Lexa sat in her bed in one, quick move, gasping for air. She stayed like that, eyes wide open, throat and mouth dry, heart beating too fast and breath uneven for a few minutes before finally calming down. She let herself fall back on her bed and she groaned at the feeling of her, now cold, wet sheets and t-shirt against her still overheated skin. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind.

It was the sixth night in a row. The first night she hadn’t slept and the next six fucking nights she had been dreaming about Clarke, Clarke touching her, Clarke fucking her, Clarke tying her, Clarke kissing her. Lexa had taken a week of holiday to put distance between the blonde and herself and take some time to think, put some order in her messy life but somehow it just made it worse. And ‘worse’ meant eighteen probably ruined panties (included one of Lexa’s favorite very expensive laced underwear. But she’d try to save this one at least…), three jeans had been forced to go to the washing machine after being worn for only three hours maximum, she had had to use one pajama by night, and had had to wash her sheets two times. Yes only two because when she realised that she needed only one night for them to smell like sweat and… other smelly things she had decided that it would be more wise to wait for them to be REALLY stinky to wash them (or in other words : not enough money to win her quotidian fight against soil).

And all of this because of what ? Clarke. Now that she was thinking about it it was all her fault. Maybe she could ask her to pay for all the water she used during the week to wash her clothes and herself…

Lexa thought for a minute, considering, SERIOUSLY considering the option before shaking her head with a hoarse “Can’t do that.” Asking for money would be a sign of weakness. And a very illegal and immoral thing. But again she had probably already passed the point of no return in these areas already.

She roared “Clarke you shameless sadistic brat ! If your mother don’t want to spank you then I will !”

She rolled on her belly then raised on all four before hitting her poor pillows, that were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, with clenched fists and gritted teeth. “I know. You. Did. Everything. ON PURPOSE !” she punctuated the last words with a particularly hard hit before grabbing a pillow. She bit it hard with an angry scream and a muffled “A fpank iv all you deverve !”

After another scream she released the poor bag of feather and she hugged it tightly “I’m sorry buddy I know you did nothing wrong…” she said, her eyes watering.

Ah hormones and exhaustion…

She buried her face in her pillow and lied down on her belly. After a minute she decided that it was not the time for her to die of asphyxia (no until she had made Clarke pay for everything) and finally turned her head to the side. When fresh air filled her lungs she winced. Ok maybe she could find some money wash her sheets today.

She stayed like that for a moment, just relaxing. But then her thoughts went to Clarke again and how she had touched her in her dream the day before or that one time in her office while Anya was talking to an inspector on the other side of the wall or that other time when the blonde had ruined a pair of expensive tights and the garter belt that went with it before eating her out, action that was meant to be an apology but ended up as a now usual torture session. Clarke did replace the torn material though. The next day Lexa had found a present on her desk, wrapped in a beautiful paper. It was laced lingerie : bra, panties, garter belt and tights and of course it was from an infamous high quality expensive brand. Lexa had never worn it though fearing that it would encourage the girl.

When her left hand had crawled to her breast, Lexa didn’t know. When her right hand passed the waistband of her pajama though, the woman stilled then sat, slapping her cheeks.

“Come on Lexa you can do it !” was what she had been telling herself every time she had woken up in the middle of the night because of a Clarke dream. The first two nights it had worked, she had managed to keep her own hands far from the itchy area between her legs. After that though she had given up. She had concluded that she was in holiday she could do what she wanted, when she wanted and where she wanted. But today was Monday, today she was supposed to give class and return to her office to mark papers and sign stuff and talk to people, today she’d have to be serious.

Yes. Work would probably help her. In fact she had been thinking about Clarke that much because she was bored, because she had nothing to do, because her life was at school and not in her small apartment.

She braced herself and took the coldest shower she could, put on her favorite shirt and jeans, cooked herself a light breakfast accompanied by an entire giant mug of coffee then exited her apartment, decided, motivation to its max.

 

The drive to the school had been excruciatingly long that day for some reason so when Lexa finally entered the entry hall, she took the deepest breath she could, inhaling the smell of clean. Then she exhaled slowly and smiled, feeling refreshed.

“I knew it.” she said to herself “Holidays just don't suit me.”

That was all. That's all Lexa needed. Her school and work to occupy her restless mind.

As usual, she opened all the doors, enjoying the calm of the place. Then she headed to her office and noticed a fine layer of dust on her desk. She eyed the piece of furniture like it had betrayed her and she started taking everything that was on it to the ground.

After a moment, the door opened and Anya started “Hey cousin how are y-” and stopped midsentence when what greeted her was Lexa's butt. “Do I want to know what the fuck you are doing ?”

Lexa groaned “Stop mocking me and help me. I lost the screw holding my glasses and spectacle arm together.”

Anya joined Lexa on the ground with a grunt. “How have you been ?”

A wave of warmth coursed through Lexa's body as images of her horrible week were coming back to her mind. She shook her head to chase them out and just answered “Good.”

“Did you manage to relax ?”

Without thinking and ignoring all the lewd pictures flashing somewhere in the back of her overactive imagination at the word, Lexa lied “Yes.”

Damn this day was starting horribly. First, the dust on her desk, then her glasses and now Anya's harassing behavior. Until finally Lexa saw the light, the tiny screw on the ground next to her desk's foot. “Aha !” She said victoriously, retrieving the traitorous little piece of metal before standing “Thank you for your help Anya now I have work to do.” She waited for her cousin to stand to take her by her shoulders and lead her to the door.

“Wait Lex-”

“No Anya. I don't have the time. See you at noon.” She gave a last push to Anya's back and closed the door behind her.

Lexa took a deep breath and looked at her clock. She had fifteen minutes to finish to put order on her desk and head to her class. She could do it.

One by one she picked up the items that had had their place on her desk for at least three years now. Her pot of pen (green and red and black and blue, two of each), her leather desk blotter, her scissors (that had always been there even if she only rarely used them), a little clock, a block of post-it (she had seriously thought about throwing away after discovering what a powerful weapon it could be), her own personal pencil case (that sported many ink stain, red, blue and green but she liked it that way), and of course Jean-Claude, her friend the mini cactus.

When every object had returned to where they were supposed to be, she looked at her desk and nodded to herself. Nothing felt better for her than the feeling of pride and comfort she found in the order of her life. She liked when everything was at its place, when everything made sense.

She had now ten minutes left. “Just in time.” Maybe that day wouldn't be that terrible.

She gathered what she needed and headed to her class. Her second safest place after her office. Before Clarke that is... 'NO. No. No Clarke.' She shook her head and pushed the door open, ready to teach students what a number really is.

 

***

 

Lexa had been wrong. The day had went smoothly, like everything was finally falling back into place. She had been a good teach, a good principal, no carrots at lunch, Anya had forgotten to be her over worried cousin and she hadn't seen the blonde. At all. She had checked that she had came to class of course, she had responsibilities regarding the girl's studies now. Clarke had indeed came to school, even went to her extra classes as planned.

Everything had been perfect.

Lexa was about to jump in her car, a half smile on her lips when the day changed from perfect to could-have-been-perfect. At the very last moment, Lexa's eyes spotted a certain blonde haired girl at the bus stop on the other side of the road and a shiver ran down her spine. Saying that Clarke was radiating despair and frustration though would be an understatement. It bugged Lexa for some reason and she kicked herself for feeling concerned. She shook her head “No. No, it's her problems. She probably just fought with someone. She's just being her usual brat self.”

Lexa braced herself and opened the door of her car when what she had feared happened.

“LEXA !” Clarke screamed from where she stood. The woman turned only to see the girl run to her. Lexa gulped but straightened her back. She could be strong. She could go through this encounter without letting Clarke make complete mess out of her. “Lexa, you're back ?” the blonde asked when she was finally only a few feet away from Lexa.

The woman nodded “I am.”

“How were your holidays ?”

Why was everyone asking her about her holidays !? “Good. Resting.”

To Lexa's surprise, Clarke frowned “You sure ? You look like you just got out of Fear the walking dead.”

“Fear the walking dead ?”

Clarke raised an offended eyebrow “Let me guess, you're the book lover kind huh ?” Lexa cocked her head to the side and the blonde sighed “Never mind. What I'm trying to say is that Alicia wasn't supposed to turn into a zombie before at least season four.”

Lexa was lost, to say the least. What kind of language was that ? “Who ?”

“Oh my god. Ok let me rephrase it : you look exhausted. I think I've never seen the bags under your eyes so dark.”

“Oh.” So THAT was why people kept asking how her holidays had been with way more concern than people usually showed while asking such casual questions. “Well, I'm having some problems falling asleep these days but nothing to worry about, I can still work.”

“Do you ever talk about anything other than your work ?” Clarke asked crossing her arms on her chest and raising an eyebrow.

Lexa couldn't help but smile just a little at it. “You sound like Anya.” she answered and earned a satisfying disgusted face. Until blue eyes locked with hers and the glint of mischievousness that was so Clarke flashed behind those two irises Lexa had learned to know. The woman's breath hitched and she cursed in her head. If the girl's smirk was anything to go by, it hadn't went unnoticed. “Anyway, I gotta go. I'm supposed to be at her apartment in ten minutes and I'm already late so-”

Clarke licked her lips and Lexa's voice died in her throat. This wasn't good. Not good at all.

Until the blonde took a step back. She winked and waved “See you tomorrow principal.” she said before running back to the bus stop.

And Lexa was stunned.

It didn't make any sense. Clarke never stepped back. Never. How ? Why ?

The buzzing of her phone in her back pocket dragged her out of her thoughts though but when she blinked and looked at the bus stop, the girl had disappeared.

She answered her phone “Yes Anya ?”

 

 

**TUESDAY**

 

Lexa woke up groaning in pain. Her head was pounding, something hammering somewhere behind her eyes, a hammering she recognized, not without shame, immediately. She sat carefully in Anya's guestroom's bed and groaned again. How had Anya dared making her drink on a Monday evening ? But it wasn't Anya's fault though. For some reason, Lexa had had to take some frustration out of her system and well. Alcohol was there.

“Oh you're up ?” Anya stepped in the room “Good. I left something for you to drink and eat on the kitchen island. I'm taking your place for this morning.”

Lexa groaned low “Anya I took a week of holiday already, I can't keep missing school.”

“You won't miss anything. You'll move your ass, take a shower, steal some clothes of mine and drive to school. And you'll do it before noon.” Lexa tried to snap back something smart but her pulse in her ears was too loud for her to think straight. Anya shook her head with a sigh “Still. For someone who used to have such a strong love affair with alcohol... this is pathetic.”

Lexa snorted and regretted it immediately. “Yeah well my body is too used to healthy things now, it seems it cannot deal with that sweet poison like it used too.”

Anya smirked “Yeah well, glad to hear that.”

“But I'm not. I wish my head wasn't pounding so much...”

“You shouldn't have been so eager, this one is on you cousin.” the older woman said in a chuckle before disappearing in the corridor. “Move your hangovered ass Lexa !” she yelled, way too loudly.

“Bitch.” Lexa stated as she was trying to ignore the pounding in her head.

 

 

It took her three hours but Lexa made it to school and strangely enough, she felt good. She had slept for real for the first time in- let's say in a long time. Sure headache wasn't Lexa's favorite way to wake up but she had to admit that for once she was grateful towards Anya's impressive collection of vodka.

When she arrived at school, students were in class so the corridors were empty, nobody was there to see her being late. She relaxed and smiled. She could feel it, today would be different. She puffed her chest and walked with her head held high.

Her confident feeling died the moment she pushed the door of her office though.

Lexa loved her cousin. Anya was her best friend, her sister, the one she could always rely on. But GOD how carefree could she be sometimes. The woman had for some unknown reason opened the window and forgot to close it. Lexa's seniors' papers were scattered all over her desk and on the floor.

Lexa sighed and started to clean the mess.

 

Lexa and Anya were exiting the refectory when they crossed path with Indra. The woman was scolding a student as always.

“What did Monty do this time ?” Anya asked and Lexa saw the boy gulp hard. If Indra was intimidating, Anya was worse. When the woman had decided to be authoritarian, she could make the biggest football player boy of this school pee their pants. Lexa knew because it happened before. More than once.

“He and his friend Jasper were making alcohol out of rotten fruits using school tools.”

Lexa fought the urge to roll her eyes “Mr Green, look at me.” the boy obeyed and the brunette would never get tired of the relieved breaths students were releasing the exact moment Lexa stepped in to save them from Anya and Indra. “I don't care what you do of your free time, the little experiments you, Jordan and Reyes are doing for fun but you know I don't want any of this to happen on the school grounds. Understood ?”

“Yes ma'am.” the boy nodded timidly and Lexa smiled.

“Good. I can't let what you did pass though. Stay after class on Friday to clean science classrooms. And tell Reyes and Jordan, that I know are watching all of this from somewhere, that they are invited too.”

Lexa saw Monty smirk for a split second before he said humbly “I understand, sorry Mrs Wilde.” he bowed and ran away.

Indra scoffed and Lexa turned to her colleague, knowing what the woman would say. “You're weak principal. You need to punish them if you want them to learn.”

“Indra, they made some fruit juice. I'm taking measures when it's needed. When they bugged Anya's office they had to be punished and I hope for them they understood I wouldn't tolerate something like that again. But seriously, some rotten apples won't kill or bother anybody. If anything it's just unhealthy.”

“But Principal-”

“Enough.” Lexa silenced her raising a hand “You deal with them the way you want, I won't question your methods so do not question mine.” the brunette raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer.

Indra rolled her eyes “Sure Principal.”

They parted and Lexa and Anya continued their walk in the corridor. At some point though, time stopped along with Lexa's heart. Blonde hair caught her attention. Clarke and Octavia were talking leaned against the lockers. Lexa swallowed and gathered strength. 'You can do it.' The woman focused her attention on her cousin and managed to ignore entirely the two blue eyes she felt were on her the whole time.

 

 

**WEDNESDAY**

 

Lexa took the time to breath before opening the door of the classroom.

“Hi everyone.” she managed to say as her eyes were meeting her students' except the one at the back, close to the wall. Twenty voices answered, each in their own way. Twenty voices and not twenty one like it should but Lexa was grateful.

She had known beforehand, since the very moment she had decided to end whatever was happening between she and Clarke, that she couldn't avoid the girl eternally. Like, she couldn't just ask Anya to take her place in class every time Clarke was there. She had known since she had woken up this morning after a surprisingly quite good night that the day would be tough.

She was decided though. She wouldn't meet Clarke's eyes.

The first half hour went smoothly, her explanations being clear no one were asking questions. Until Clarke. The blonde was raising her hand to talk and god how Lexa would've wished the girl had behaved like a normal student since the beginning of the year...

Of course Lexa couldn't ignore a student's question so she turned to the girl, finally looking at her. She regretted it instantly though. Clarke was obviously pissed, her eyes dark and menacing. Lexa straightened her back and her voice was clear when she asked “Yes Miss Griffin ?”

The woman saw the way the girl's eyes widened in surprise then her brow furrowed in anger. “Nothing.” she answer, the word biting, harsh and something in Lexa's guts was telling her she would regret it.

Lexa licked her lips “Good then.” and she pursued.

Clarke stayed silent until the bell rang and she stormed out of the classroom. Lexa closed her eyes briefly and breathed. She had survived the hardest. 'I did it.' she thought. She had FUCKING done it. She hadn't let Clarke's gaze influence her.

The brunette wanted to believe that it was because she had changed, that she had become stronger, used to it maybe, and not that Clarke had maybe just decided she wouldn't bother her today.

 

Lexa was in her car, ready to drive to the hospital to bring her idiotic little brother (that found a way to got her nose broken in a fight) back home when her bad luck stroke again. She turned the key of her car but it made no sound. She tried again a few times to finally conclude that her car wouldn't move. “Fuck !” she swore, hitting the wheel with her palms.

“Want some help with that ?”

The woman blushed a little for losing her cool in front of a stranger that- that wasn't one. “Reyes. You know how to fix cars ?”

The short brunette smirked proudly “I'm the 7th generation of a family of mechanics, if I can't fix this, my dad won't let me go home tonight.” Raven winked and Lexa almost jumped at the unexpected familiarity of the girl. She nodded her ok though because she had no time to lose and if the girl said she could do it...

The woman hopped out of her baby “Be careful. I'm very attached to it.”

“Yeah I can see it. It's all clean everywhere. I'm even surprise she's being capricious when having such caring owner.”

For the second time this week Lexa wondered if she spoke the same language than her students “She ?”

“Yeah, your car. Pretty sure it's a she. You haven't named her ?”

“Excuse me...?” Lexa asked incredulously earning a deep sigh.

Raven patted the vehicle's door “Forget what I said, now I KNOW why you're pouting.” the girl said to the car before taking off her backpack to take a screwdriver out of it “Now let me do my magic !”

Raven grinned in a way telling Lexa she may have made a mistake by letting the girl touch her car.

Surprisingly though ten minutes later, the motor purred pleasantly and the girl held the door open for Lexa to step in. “Principal's ride is ready for her.”

Lexa had to admit it. Raven was weird but good. “Thank you Miss Reyes. How much do you want ?”

“What ? Oh no. No it's ok. I know what you did for Monty yesterday. Just that is enough, thanks Principal.” the girl answered before throwing her backpack over her shoulder and running to the bus stop.

'Weird kid but not bad.' Lexa thought with a smile.

 

 

**THURSDAY**

 

“Hey Ann ?”

“Mhm ?”

“Remind me why we're having school meetings ?”

“Dunno. If I catch the guy who invented the concept, I'll slit his throat.” Lexa laughed openly while stretching lazily on her desk chair. Anya did the same, walking to Lexa's desk. “You're going home or you'll be your usual masochist ?”

“Very funny Anya. But you're right. I'll stay a little bit longer. I'd like to finish marking these.” Anya glanced at the pile of paper.

“ALL of these ?”

“Mhm. I want an easy Friday.”

Anya raised her hands in surrender “Fine. As you wish. But still, the bags under your eyes had finally started to disappear... If you go on like that I'll start to think you believe having dark around your eyes is fashionable.”

Lexa smiled “Get out of my office Anya.”

The dirty blonde smirked and bowed, a hand on her heart “With pleasure your highness.” And she exited the room.

As much as Lexa didn't want to recognize it, Anya was right. Weirdly, her past few nights have been dreamless, calm and long. Her exhausted body may have finally given up and decided she needed rest, not sex. Or maybe last week had been a hormonal thing. Or maybe her entire being was not suited for holidays.

 

She was almost finished with her work when something froze inside her. She stilled, recognizing what that was. The footsteps in the corridor were way too familiar and her heart was racing in her chest. It was bad. She had promised she'd avoid her and had done such a good work at it these past few days, she couldn't let everything go to waste. She had to do something, anything.

And she got an idea.

She folded her arms on her desk and rested her forehead on them, closing her eyes. Maybe Clarke wouldn't dare to ‘wake her up’, would just enter then leave.

As she heard the door of her office open slowly, Lexa's entire body tensed.

'Please leave me alone ! Please leave me alone !' she repeated in her head, praying to all the gods she knew and even those that probably didn't exist yet.

Clarke's footsteps were slow and calculated, as usual. She could follow the girl's path based only on the sound and she stopped breathing when the girl stopped a foot or two away from her. For a moment, all Lexa could hear or feel was her own beating heart but after a few seconds she felt the warm ghost of a hand over her shoulder. She shuddered from head to toe and prayed it hadn't shown. But as soon as the hot presence had appeared, it vanished and the girl left the room without a word, with hurried steps.

Lexa released a breath then. She used to fear Clarke. She shouldn't feel so bad, it shouldn't be foreign. But it was and Lexa knew why. The one she had feared right now was herself, her own weakness.

 

 

**FRIDAY**

 

“Fuck.” would apparently be the word of the day. 'Fuck' when she burnt her tongue drinking her coffee. 'Fuck' when she broke the heel of an expensive shoe. 'Fuck' when she arrived at school to discover that the pipe that had been repaired last month had given up on doing its job again and instead had poured an alarming amount of water on the refectory floor. 'Fuck' When Lexa had started to help a few students and the cleaning ladies to evacuate the water and she slipped and fell on the flooded tiled ground. 'Fuck' when she had decided to eat outside and the man on the table next to hers had spent the entire time staring at her, winking and sending her air kisses. 'Fuck' when she had had to ask Anya to do her job once again because the idiots who 'fixed' the pipe didn't want to recognize they had messed up.

And finally, 'fuck' when she had almost locked Reyes, Green and Jordan inside the school.

“I'm sorry kids.” she sighed “I forgot you were still there.”

“It's ok, we heard you had a bad day.”

“It's not ok. You're my responsibility. Anyway, I can take you home if you want.”

Monty shook his head “Thank you Ma'am but Jasper and I live close by.”

Lexa turned to Raven “Reyes ?”

“I won't say no. Thanks.”

Lexa just nodded before turning back to the boys “See you next week then and be careful on the way home.”

Jasper snorted “Come on, you know us.”

“Yes. Which is exactly why I'm worried.”

“We'll be careful Ma'am. C'mon Jas or your mom will scold me again !” Monty said, tugging at his friend's arm.

“See ya next week !” Jasper said, waving a hand while letting Monty drag him away.

Raven shook her head “Those two are acting like an old married couple, it's gross.”

Lexa chuckled “Let's take you home too so that I can tell your dad not to throw you on the street just yet. You did an amazing job on Chloe.”

The girl's face lit up and she grinned widely “So that's her name now ? Suits her.” Raven said, playfully punching her principal's shoulder. Lexa just raised an eyebrow and she saw the blood leave the girl's cheek “Oh my g- Sorry Principal I- I didn't- Did I hurt you ?”

Lexa fought back a smile “It's ok. Just don't do it again.”

Maybe that day hadn't been so bad after all.

 

***

 

Lexa didn’t know why but she liked washing dishes. She found it appeasing, relaxing, and since she had only her own plate fork and knife to wash it wasn’t that long. Watching her favorite movie and being domestic had helped her forget her day entirely and she was humming happily while drying her hands when a sound startled her. Something, or most likely someone had just opened her door. Slowly, as silently as possible she grabbed the frying pan and exited her small kitchen cautiously only to gasp and let it fall on the ground in a deafening sound.

“Clarke !?”

The blonde was standing on the mat in her entry and it took Lexa some time to fully take in the terrible sight that caught her breath.

The girl was drenched, her back bent and her arms tightly crossed on her chest. Lexa’s heart stopped in her chest when she noticed the blonde was trembling from head to toe. In a second she had grabbed the cover on her couch and draped it around the girl, rubbing her back in hope that the friction would produce the heat the frail body obviously needed.

“Clarke ! Are you o-“ Lexa’s weak voice broke when she took a look at the blonde’s face.

Lexa opened her mouth to talk but nothing came out. Her gaze and feelings and entire crumbling being were lost on the blonde’s cyanide lips, on her translucent skin, in her colorless eyes. Lexa stepped in front of the girl and cupped her cheeks slowly. Both winced at the touch, one from the warmth, the other from the cold. Cold like steel in winter, cold like the rocks of a river’s bank, cold like the sweat in Lexa’s back.

The woman’s hands started to shake when Clarke‘s gaze left the ground to look at her. Expressionless would be an understatement. The girl seemed empty and Lexa wondered how far the Clarke she knew was drifting from the hollow shell in front of her, wondered if she would even be able to reach her ever again.

Then Lexa noticed the red circling blue grey, noticed the pain hidden somewhere behind the washed-out irises and she snapped back to reality. She ran off to her bathroom, leaving Clarke behind, fearing the girl would break in her hands if she tried to move her. In a hurry, she grabbed all the towels she could find and returned to her entry, only to find that Clarke had disappeared. Panicked, she called “Clarke ?! Where are you ?!” she was about to run outside of her apartment, convinced that the girl had ran away when she noticed the wet footsteps leading to her room.

Lexa stormed into her bedroom and found Clarke standing still in the middle of the dark space, her back to the door, her shoulders still shaking. Lexa turned on the light and approached slowly, not wanting to startle the girl. She stopped a foot or two behind her and in a raspy voice she pleaded “Undress or you’ll catch a cold.”

But Clarke didn’t move and some kind of anger joined the worry in Lexa’s chest. She stepped in front of the girl and let all the towels in her arms fall on the ground “Fine. Be stubborn.” Unceremoniously, Lexa clawed at the hem of what looked like a pajama T-shirt and pulled it over Clarke’s head, hating the feeling of drenched material tearing itself from ice cold skin. Lexa bent down to retrieve a towel and placed it on the girls head. She grabbed another one and started to rub Clarke’s back, happy to see some color tainting her porcelain white skin. Then she took care of her arms and stepped in front of the girl again. She hesitated only a split second before gently grazing the skin of Clarke’s chest with the towel. Lexa looked up to the girl’s face for some kind of approval but all she found was that same empty look despite the now light pink on her cheeks. Lexa rubbed harder then, now wasn’t the time for embarrassment.

Finished with the girl’s torso, the woman kneeled down and pulled at Clarke’s pants until they reached the ground, careful not to look at the cold white body. “Lift your foot.” Lexa asked, voice strong and commanding despite her worry and the fear tugging at her insides relentlessly. Clarke did as said and took a step back, discarding her pants and torn socks in the process.

Lexa forced her gaze to stay on the ground for as long as possible when she was drying the girl’s legs but it was becoming harder and harder as the distance between her hands and Clarke’s center was closing. Nudity had never bothered Lexa but somehow, at this very moment, something felt wrong. Something inside her made the woman stop at Clarke’s middle thighs and stand quickly. Lexa wrapped the largest towel she had brought tightly around the girl before scrubbing her head vigorously but gently enough to avoid any kind of painful pressure.

Satisfied with the almost dried state of Clarke’s hair, Lexa stepped back “I’ll be right back.” She said with a small smile but the girl grabbed her wrist “I’ll just go take my hair dryer.” She explained in the sweetest, reassuring voice she could afford in her still overly worried state but the girl just tightened her grip.

Clarke then let the towel fall at her feet and closed the distance until her entire bare body was pressed against Lexa’s. In a now familiar motion the blonde raised her chin and leaned even closer until her lips brushed the shell of the woman’s ear.

“Touch me.”

 

***

 

It was harder than she had thought. Nudity was not the problem. Nudity had never been the problem since Lexa wasn't the prude introvert type. No, stripping was the problem, stripping was meaningful, stripping was usually done in private, hidden from the others, hidden from the eyes. But right now, in the same room was Clarke. Another human being. When was the last time again ? The last time Lexa had stripped in front of someone ? No, even just being naked in front of someone ? Her heart swelled. Of course she remembered. She remembered when and where and why and for who and she felt her eyes sting.

“What is it ?”

Clarke's husky voice brought Lexa back to the present, to the naked blonde girl sitting on her bed looking at her with worried sad eyes. She realised then that her trembling hands had stopped moving after undoing the last button of her shirt.

“Nothing.” Lexa lied, slowly finishing to unbutton her shirt before undoing the zipper of her pants.

Now was the moment. The exact, precise moment Lexa had feared for years. The ridiculous prelude she wished had lasted longer was over and Lexa's heart stopped.

Being undressed by someone is easy. It's easy because you can blame the other, you can tell yourself you did nothing even if you didn't resist. It's easy because you don't have to fight.

Undressing for someone is an entirely different thing. It means peeling of every warm, reassuring protective layer off of your own body. Willingly. It is choosing to expose yourself in all your vulnerability so someone else.

In a bright room.

The fact that Clarke was already naked should've helped. But it was Clarke. Nothing was easy in front of Clarke, in front of her assured, piercing gaze. Well. In that moment the blonde's eyes looked everything but assured though and Lexa had to imagine they were. Lexa wanted them to be.

Lexa's heart was hammering on her ribcage like never before and she felt hot. Not the heat she was now used to. She should probably have felt aroused or anything alike but she wasn't. Her face was burning and the sound of her pulse in her ears deafening, she felt dizzy and the time seemed stilled but noting like any kind of sexual arousal. Nothing. And she wondered why. A simple look from Clarke used to make her clench her thighs in reflex but now... Now Clarke wasn't Clarke. Not the Clarke Lexa wanted to see. And yet. It was still the same person and that person had asked. That Clarke Lexa had never seen was still Clarke and she had asked. Asked Lexa to touch her. But all the woman had heard was a desperate call for help. How could she say no ? How could she deny the person that she had unfortunately fell in love with what she was demanding ?

Lexa had decided.

She started with her pants. She walked to her desk and sliped her thumbs under the waistband of her jeans and pulled down. She folded it quickly and placed it on the desk chair's back. She heard Clarke shift on the bed behind her and she hold her breath. She exhaled deeply after a moment and finally removed her shit. She put it over her pants and took some time to adjust it on the back of the chair. Probably more time than necessary. The time she had to take to gather the courage she needed to finish what she had started. She closed her eyes and brought her arms behind her back. She unclipped her bra and took it off with shaky hands before putting it with the rest of her clothes.

Only one layer left.

Only one barrier to take off. Ironically, the one Clarke had removed herself more times that Lexa could count. The woman almost laughed at how ridiculous all of this was. At how complicated, paradoxical human beings could be. Even her first time, with Costia, hadn't been that hard.

Finally she braced herself and in one breath she took off her panties as fast as her weak, clumsy hands permitted her.

She took a deep breath. All she had to do now was face it. Face the new leaf she was turning. Face what she had been afraid to face for years. Years of refusing Anya's arranged dates with strangers, refusing drinks in bars, refusing the simple idea that time had passed.

But now she had to. She had to face it because Clarke needed her and she couldn't say no.

She hoped for a moment that Clarke wouldn't notice how stiff she was when she turned back. But the girl had been looking at her the entire time and the woman knew she had seen. Had seen her flushed skin and tensed muscles and unfocused gaze and shaky fists.

But Clarke was silent and her lonely, pleading blue eyes fixed on Lexa's face and the woman relaxed slightly.

Lexa took a moment to take in the sight of Clarke lying on her bed, entirely exposed, just patiently waiting for her and her only. Some courage appeared from somewhere then and before she could even realize it, Lexa was at the edge of her bed.

She locked eyes with Clarke and desperately searched for something, a glint of… Sass, insolence, pride, hunger and condescension, she was looking for a glimpse of the Clarke she knew but in vain. She felt something sink inside of her, deep in the pit of her stomach and she had to swallow the lump in her throat.

Clarke was nowhere to be found.

Lexa didn't know what had happened in the girl's life but she definitely knew what kind of things could do that to you. She had been through that, through the pain and anger and despair and she understood.

Then she noticed the goosebumps and too pale skin.

Lexa risked a knee on the bed, then another one. Blue met green. careful not to touch the cold body for some reason, Lexa placed herself between the girl's legs, spread just enough for her to sit there. Slowly, in a vague attempt at making all of this less awkward, Lexa placed an unassured hand on the bed near Clarke's side, raising slightly on her knees.

“Kiss me.”

This was surreal. So surreal that Lexa wondered if the broken Clarke now underneath her, the broken Clarke lying with all her weight on her bed, would ever recover.

Lexa's tentative hand reached out to brush against the blonde's cold cheek. She ran her knuckles on the plump flesh and Clarke closed her eyes in a relaxed sigh. That's all Lexa's heart and mind needed to melt. 'Fuck it' she thought. She'd deal with the reasoning later, when Clarke wouldn't need her anymore.

Lexa cupped the girl's cheek and leaned down to rest her lips on the blonde's. The touch was less cold than she'd expected but still not what she was used to. These were not the lips burning hers, making a mess of feelings out of her, fogging her mind, confusing all her senses. So Lexa pressed harder. She tried to obtain more from the girl than timid, tired reactions. At some point she advanced her tongue only to find nothing fighting her, no teeth to refuse her entrance. Lexa expected a tongue to meet hers but all she found was an empty void. So she pulled back.

“Answer me” Lexa asked with a frown but it sounded too much like an order so she added “Please.”

To her surprise, a small smile curled Clarke's lips and a cold hand found her cheek to pull her down, pressing her lips back against the girl's. This time though Clarke was more responding. Still slow and unlike her usual self but it was something. Lexa insisted, reaching out for her tongue again which she found this time.

Slowly, the woman's hand left Clarke's cheek to wander lower. Lexa traced the curve of the girl's throat, the hollow before her collarbone. To Lexa's contentment, Clarke took a deep breath when the woman's hand reached the girl's sternum. For the first time Lexa realised how not small Clarke's breasts were. Not that she hadn't noticed months ago the girl's breasts had an impressive size for her age, but Clarke's chest was definitely bigger than what her wandering mind had risked to imagine one or two times. Honestly maybe more but that was irrelevant in the present situation.

Lexa felt the urge to grope them with both hands and only then realised that finally desire had sparked somewhere in her brain and between her legs. 'Fuck.' she swore to herself, it was too easy. She shouldn't want Clarke, especially in her actual state. But the blonde had asked her, Lexa remembered.

Lexa's lips left Clarke's to kiss the girl's jaw as her knuckles were grazing the underside of the girl's right breast. She fought herself. Her own slow pace was driving her crazy but she felt like Clarke would break if she wasn't careful. So she restrained herself, making her kisses light and calculated. When her mouth reached the girl's ear though she allowed herself to add some teeth, to gently nibble at Clarke's ear lobe. The girl rewarded her with a loud exhale, puff of warm air that passed Lexa's neck and shoulder to get lost in the woman's hair, making Lexa shudder in the best way.

And suddenly she needed more than that.

Her hand finally draped over the mound of Clarke's breast and a throaty breath escape Lexa's nose. The woman's hand massaged gently, ignoring the pert nipple at first, just pressing and squeezing the amazingly soft flesh. When Lexa's lips closed over the girl's collarbone, Lexa cupped her breast, finally giving the pink nipple that she had felt hard under her palm the attention it deserved, taking it between her thumb and index finger.

Clarke squirmed underneath her but Lexa barely felt it and only then she realised the way too wide distance between their bodies. Lexa kissed her way to the girl's other breast, leaning her body against the blonde's, shivering at the cold feeling of her skin against her own, heaving herself on an elbow.

She felt the girl relax under her then tense again when she started sucking her mark on the white delicate skin of Clarke's left breast. She kicked herself for doing it but she couldn't help it, there was something inside her screaming her she may never have the occasion again. So she sucked hard, hard enough to leave a bruise then soothed the pain with her tongue. Her lips moved to the lonely nipple and she felt more than saw Clarke's hands claw at the sheets. Only then she noticed the girl's breath heartbeat had quicken. There Lexa saw an encouragement and soon she was kissing her way down Clarke's abdomen, slowly running her hands on the girl's sides, noticing how the girl she had thought was only sharp edges and armored skin was in fact all curves and softness, plump flesh and smooth skin.

Clarke jumped when Lexa reached her bellybutton and a smile tugged at the woman's lips.

Without leaving even an inch between the girl's body and her palms, she brought her hands to Clarke's inner thighs then under her knees to lift them up and slip her arms around the blonde's hips, Clarke's legs over Lexa's shoulders. The girl let her do as she pleased and when Lexa dared to look up at the girl, she saw Clarke's throat tremble under ragged breaths as her head was thrown back in anticipation, her hands gripping at the sheets. Lexa that until now had felt rather lonely -trying not to think that the girl's lack of reactions was a proof that she’d have to reread the manual of 'how to sex' she had thrown away a long time ago- felt a wave of insurance wash through her and she finally closed her mouth around Clarke's clit.

The blonde's hips jerked harder than planned, Clarke's pubis meeting Lexa's nose violently and the woman moaned in surprise before pulling back to look at the girl, raising an eyebrow.

The embarrassment and glint of annoyance in the girl's blue eyes brought a smile on Lexa's face and the authority in Clarke's tone when she said “Oh shut up.” turning her head on the side warmed the woman's heart.

Lexa wouldn't bother Clarke with that. Not this time.

Instead she returned to her previous ministrations in silence. She stuck out her tongue and lapped, running the strong muscle along Clarke's dripping folds, occasionally touching the girl's clit. The more Lexa was touching her, the louder the blonde's breaths were, sounds threatening to break free from her throat and Lexa decided she'd win that fight. Clarke could claw at the sheets with her hands and toes, squirm all she wanted, Lexa would make her moan. The woman changed strategy and focused her attention on the girl's clit, pressing against it with her tongue, or sucking lightly. But every time she thought Clarke was starting to enjoy it too much, she stopped, pulling back a little and waiting for the blonde's body to relax before attacking again. The woman was about to pull back once more when a hand grabbed her hair maintaining her in place.

Not so long ago Lexa would've tried to deny the spark of arousal that coursed through her at the nostalgic feeling of Clarke strong grip in her hair and the way the muscles in her thighs contracted. But today, today she welcomed the wave of heat that warmed her skin.

Clarke was strong and efficiently managed to keep Lexa's face between her legs. The woman smirked. She stopped her little game, starting a new one. Her lips and mouth and tongue stopped moving and she heard Clarke groan as her nails were digging in Lexa's scalp. Clarke tugged at her hair harder and ordered “Lexa come on !”

Clarke was slowly coming back to Lexa somehow and the woman couldn't believe the relief she felt.

The brunette snorted and complied. Or almost. Without warning her right hand had left the girl's hips and she buried two fingers deep inside Clarke. Lexa heard what she wanted. The blonde moaned loudly, half in surprised half in pleasure but whatever. 'It counts' Lexa told herself as she stilled inside Clarke, letting her the time to adapt.

When she heard the blonde mumble a quiet 'fuck you', Lexa started moving, curling her fingers inside the tight channel and soon Clarke's inner walls were sucking her in, trying to keep her there. Her pace slowly increased as her mouth started working on Clarke's clit again. The blonde was still trying to hold back her voice but she was failing as tiny moans and whines were escaping her mouth occasionally and Lexa's heart was stopping each and every time. The woman could feel her own wetness drip down her thigh by now and a throbbing ache burning between her legs. If she wasn't enjoying Clarke's voice so much, Lexa would wish the roles were reversed.

When the woman felt the flutter of velvety muscles around her fingers, she sucked hard on Clarke's clit and the girl came in a loud “Lexa-!”

The brunette kept pumping in and out of her, dragging out the girl's orgasm for as long as she could while kissing her way up Clarke's beautiful body despite the hand pulling with force at her hair in random directions. The girl was shaking hard, her muscles tensing and relaxing with each wave of pleasure. Lexa decided that Clarke's actual expression was her new favorite one, mouth wide open in a perfect O and eyes tightly shut, a strand of damp hair crossing her sweaty face. As the girl calmed down, Lexa peppered kisses all over the blonde's chest and neck and jaw before finally returning her lips to Clarke's.

At first the girl's mouth was tired but eager, she even bit at Lexa's bottom lip but after a moment she stilled as a powerful sob shook her entire body. The woman pulled back, confused and alarmed and her heart sank deep when her eyes drown in watery bright blue ones.

“Clarke what happened ?” she asked, cupping the girl's cheeks. Clarke shook her head, blinking, finally chasing thick tears out of her eyes.

“M- My- D-Dad” was all Lexa could obtain before the girl's sobs became too strong for her to talk. Lexa lied down next to Clarke and pulled the blonde against her. Clarke rolled on her side and buried her face in the crook of Lexa's neck, wrapping her arms around the woman's waist.

Lexa held her tight, as tight as she could whispering dozens of wet “Shhh” and “It's ok” as tears she didn't knew the origin of were starting to run down her own cheeks. As time passed, Clarke's cries were becoming louder and each scream was a dagger piercing through Lexa's chest. The woman wanted to sooth the girl's pain away but an image of herself crying in Anya's arms already years ago gave her the feeling that she couldn't lessen the weight on Clarke's heart, no matter what she did or said.

After long moments of shattering, Clarke's voice finally weakened and soon, tension left her body, leaving her boneless in Lexa's arms. The woman reached out for the button near her bed's headboard to turn off the light before pulling the girl even closer to her. Clarke was probably already asleep and despite the exhaustion in her mind and body, Lexa's mind was restless as she was reliving the events in her head.

She had made love to one of her students. This time she was screwed. She had no excuse, no extenuating circumstances.

She had fucked a student without valid reason.

Or maybe... Maybe there was one. One Lexa whispered before her body finally gave up its fight against sleep.

“I love you.”

 

***

 

Lexa yawned against her pillow, closing her mouth over some hair, like every morning. She groaned as she noticed the exhaustions in her bones. She felt the urge to stretch. She buried her face in her pillow and stretched her limbs, on-her-belly-starfish fashion in a low moan. A foreign yet familiar scent grazed her nose and she froze. “Clarke ?” she called loudly as she pushed herself on all four, sending her cover to the ground. The place in the bed next to her was empty “Clarke !” she called again, waiting for an answer.

“I'm behind you dummie.”

Lexa released a breath as her heart started beating again. She looked over her shoulder to see a very naked Clarke staring at her shamelessly raised bare ass. Red creeped to the woman's cheeks and she tried to return to a more natural, less exposing position without appearing too embarrassed. Which, if Clarke's smirk and raised eyebrow after Lexa had sat and retrieved the blanket from the ground to cover herself way too fast was anything to go by, failed.

Lexa rolled her eyes before finally paying attention at what Clarke was doing in this corner of her room. When the woman noticed the small red box in the blonde's hands though, her eyes widened in shock and she jumped out of bed to throw herself at the girl “Don't touch that !” she yelled, snatching the precious item out of Clarke's hands angrily.

When Lexa's gaze left the box to look at the blonde, she seemed confused, scared, offended but most of all betrayed so Lexa soften. The woman licked her lips “I'm sorry. It's- It's special.” she explained, putting the box back on the shelf where Clarke had found it, right next to an old photo frame. Lexa returned to the bed arranged the covers and slipped back under them, lying on her side. She patted the space next to her and in a soft voice she commanded “Come here.”

Clarke gave a last look to the box and obliged, a sad expression still on her face. She lied on her back next to Lexa, leaving as much space between them as she could, focusing her gaze on the ceiling. Lexa sighed audibly. “You opened it didn't you ?”

She saw the blonde give a curt nod. Silence fell. Lexa didn't know what to say nor where to start. She was about to ask the girl to just drop it when Clarke stated “You're engaged.”

Lexa rolled on her back and took a deep breath. “Married.”

Clarke sat up and yelled “And you didn't think I'd like to know !?”

Lexa gulped, considered looking at the girl but couldn't find in herself the strength to tear her eyes off the ceiling “It's irrelevant.” she just stated, somehow hoping to convince Clarke as much as herself.

“Irrelevant ? Irrelevant !? How the hell is that irrelevant ! You fucked m-”

“Because she's dead.” Lexa closed her eyes as silence fell once again. She felt the bed collapse a little under some weight. The sheets shifted and soon, Clarke's warm body was at her side.

“She's the woman on the photo ?” Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. The woman felt a hand on her cheek, turning her head so that she could face the blonde. Slowly Lexa's watery eyes opened and green met blue. “Tell me.” Clarke whispered.

Something in those eyes made Lexa want to spill out everything, to tell the dramatic story that broke her life only for her to rebuilt it anew four years ago. But no, there was something more important to deal with, a present that couldn't possibly count more than a past.

“Only if you tell me what happened yesterday.”

It obviously startled the girl and now she was the one embarrassed, the one rolling on her back to look at the apparently fascinating ceiling. “You know I live with my mother right ? Well she and her sleeping bud-” Clarke paused then cleared her throat “And her boyfriend.”

“I did know that.”

“Ok well, It's not that Kane is a bad man or anything it's just-” Clarke paused.

“You can't accept him in your life yet.” Lexa concluded and a short breath escaped the girl’s lips.

“Right. Anyway, my real dad is amazing. He was my world when I was a child and mom's- I mean, Kane was my dad's best friend. I had vaguely heard about them fighting over my mom in high school but I never thought things would turn out that way.” Clarke's face was torn into a disgusted frown and a gentle smile and Lexa repressed a soft laugh. “Of course because Kane was close to both of my parents I've always known him. Even called him uncle at some point.” Clarke paused and grimaced “Yeah no. Imma stop talking about him, it's too disgusting for my teen's brain.”

This time Lexa's laugh broke free, granting her a playful slap on her butt as Clarke was turning back to her “Shut up ! You have no idea how weird the situation is for me !”

“I won't laugh again, I promise.” Lexa knew a large smile was still stretching her lips but amazingly enough Clarke just rolled her eyes and pursued.

“Whatever. I've been born and raised in this town. I've been living here until five years ago. My dad was-” The blonde paused, horror flashing on her face for a split second and Lexa's heart swelled “Is. My dad is a soldier. Five years ago because of his job, we had to move to DC. Two years later he almost died in Afghanistan and has been in a coma since then.”

The girl had said it in a single breath and everything was starting to make sense for Lexa. The girl's tensed relationship with her mother, why Abby Griffin had been spoiling her daughter, or the fact that Clarke was in constant need of affection of some sort. But it didn't explain why the girl had invited herself into her apartment yesterday night.

“But why yesterday ?”

Clarke's lower lip trembled in anger as the hand between their bodies balled into fist “It's mom.” she pursed her lips “She wants to stop the machine keeping him alive.”

Lexa gulped, opened her mouth to try and say something but Clarke cut her.

“I get it you know ? I know my father is a burden for her.”

“Clarke she-”

“No. Don't say it's not true. It is. Mom is a doctor and has always been the pessimistic type. She knows- no, she's convinced my dad will never wake up and she feels like she can't go on with her life as long as he's in this state. I mean, I get it. Her time, unlike mine, stopped five years ago and he IS a burden, grounding her, keeping her from being completely honest with Kane and I get it.”

Lexa nodded, amazed at Clarke’s understanding. She had always thought the girl too smart, too adult for her age and it was showing more now than ever. Something tugged at Lexa's guts, the sadness of talking with a child that shouldn't be an adult. Talking to a child that grew up too fast.

Clarke paused and started playing with a strand of her hair. Lexa let her the time to put order in her thoughts. She kept her mouth shut but let her eyes wander on Clarke's face, detail all the curves, freckles and moles she could spot. Anya would've kicked her ass for doing it but Lexa didn't care. Clarke was wide open in front of her for the very first time and as much as she wished it had happened in different conditions, she couldn't help the warm feeling in her chest.

“Yesterday after class, I took the bus. I went home and watched TV. I ate pizza and mom got back home around 22pm. She said she wanted to talk to me. She asked me to sit with her on the couch and- and she- she said-” The girl sobbed and closed her eyes tightly. Lexa reached out to wrap her hand on Clarke's. The blonde took a deep breath and pursued “She said 'I decided to let your father go.' We... We argued and when she told me it was already planned I just-”

Clarke paused and Lexa ended her sentence “And you just ran here in socks and pajamas under the pouring rain.”

Lexa earned a small smile “Yeah well, said like that... Don't take away my coolness teach.”

The woman smiled, relaxing her grip on the girl's hand, allowing the blonde to intertwine their fingers. There was a question on Lexa's tongue though. Words begging for freedom. 'Why me ?' But the answer could be too devastating, too meaningful so she just said “Her name was Costia.” The name felt weird on her tongue after so long but somehow it wasn't heavy. “We met in high school. She was Nia, Mrs Quinn's sister. It was love at first sight if it makes any sense.” Lexa confessed with an embarrassed smile.

“It makes sense.” Clarke stated surprisingly and Lexa couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. Was Clarke a romantic ?

“Two years after graduation we started living together and another two years later we were planning our wedding. The preparations were a big thing since my family big and we had so many people to invite, so many tables to arrange, things to keep tracks of.” Lexa took a moment to swallow the lump in her throat. The mood was too dark to her liking “Pretty sure we divorced more times than we had sex in the four months before the ceremony.” she added in a wet chuckle.

Clarke laughed and Lexa relaxed slightly as she searched deep inside her the courage to voice the rest of the story. “Finally the big day arrived and well we couldn't marry at a church of course but we had our own altar and a priest friend of the family was there, everything was perfect. My people was here, Costia's too, really everything was perfect.” Lexa had to pause. To gather the strength she would need to let out the words she hadn't dared to speak since that day. Clarke squeezed her hand then. It wasn't painful but it was firm enough to drag Lexa out of her dark thoughts and finally she said it “Gustus, my uncle, had insisted on the limo. We told him it was useless, that it'd just make a cool picture and nothing more but... I think it was his secret fantasy and he had already paid for it so... So Costia was supposed to arrive in the limo accompanied by Nia with Gustus as driver.” Lexa scoffed “It's so cliché but it was a banal car accident. The driver of the truck that crashed against the side of the limo wasn't even drunk or anything. Something went wrong in the truck's motor and it just- yeah it happened.”

Lexa had to stop because the image of Clarke's face was blurry and her throat painfully tight.

“You can stop here if you want.” Clarke gently said, brushing a strand of hair out of Lexa's face.

The woman shook her head. She took a minute to breath and calm down. It'd be hard but she'd end this story. “Gustus and Costia died. Nia is partially paralyzed, she can't move her legs and hardly her left arm. I broke after that. I stayed doing nothing more but crying and drinking for months until we learned about Anya's cancer. She had taken over the direction of the school after her father's death. Gustus had put all his life and hopes and efforts in the Ark and it was the only thing he had left behind so Anya couldn't just let go of it. But Anya was sick and I didn't want to lose anyone else so... Yeah I took her place.” Lexa inhaled deeply, somehow proud of herself before adding “This school saved me from drowning entirely.”

“I'm sorry.” Clarke said earnestly and Lexa just wrapped her arms around the girl's waist, pulling her closer.

Lexa rested her forehead against Clarke's and closed her eyes. “It's in the past now.”

When exactly Lexa had given up her fight against the little voice in her head yelling her that all of this was wrong, she didn't know. But after her holidays, after the past week, after last night, she was sure of one thing, Clarke was too deeply anchored in her life for her to just push her away. Making a bigger problem of what already was one. The present moment felt too good, too soothing, too nostalgic and needed and Lexa was now sure she couldn't stop it even if she wanted. She had craved this warmth too much, too hard and for too long. Anya would probably tell her that anybody could do the trick but the woman knew. Clarke had stormed in her life like a typhoon and had miraculously managed to force her to her limit, shaking her to her core, making her move forward somehow. Lexa had made love to another human being and took pleasure in doing so for the first time since Costia and it was big.

The realization was so strong Lexa couldn't hold back her tears anymore. They were silent but thick, wetting her cheeks, the bridge of her nose and Clarke's.

“What is it ?”

Clarke asked in a whisper and Lexa just shook her head. “Nothing.” It wasn't of course but it would be. It would be because Clarke was seventeen, Clarke was a student that will graduate and go to Harvard, Clarke was a child that would grow up.

So Lexa decided. She'd take what she can get and if the police catch her then... Whatever. They were at a point where she'd go to jail anyway, even if she stopped everything now.

Lexa pulled back reluctantly, releasing the girl to bring her hands to her face to wipe her eyes. She sat and threw a look at her clock on her bedside table behind Clarke. Midday. No wonder the room was so bright even with the shutter closed. The woman stretched a little. She knew Clarke was observing her, following her every movements. Lexa stood swiftly and walked to the other side of the room, her back to the blonde to rummage through her closet. She found her mickey mouse sweatpants and the largest t-shirt she had. She threw them both to the bed saying “I'd lend you underwear too but I doubt they would fit.”

Clarke snorted loudly “Yeah definitely. As much as I enjoyed having my boobs squeezed, this would be a little bit too much.”

Lexa shook her head with a smile, glad that the girl's pride was back. She returned her attention to her closet and found random cotton panties and plain sport bra.

“Boo, Booooring.”

The woman threw a rapid look over her shoulder and shivered as Clarke's characteristic smirk was back. The girl was now lying on her belly, turned to Lexa, resting her chin on her hands. Lexa swallowed obviously, already preparing herself to what could happen but something broke the atmosphere. Clarke's stomach growled so hard Lexa couldn't help but burst out laughing.

“Hey !” the woman turned back to Clarke only to take a pillow in the face. “I haven't eaten since yesterday's lunch at school, not my fault ok ?” But Lexa couldn't stop. Clarke's flushed cheeks were too much. “Fuck you.” The blonde finally said, rolling on the bed to turn her back at Lexa.

The woman chuckled one last time before putting on some plain black tight sweatpants and a simple grey tank top. She got out of the room without a word.

 

Clarke's heart was beating way too fast to her liking. She felt like a fourteen year old fangirl meeting her idol. Not that she knew how it felt. Ok maybe, just maybe it happened one day but in her defense it was her favorite sci-fi book author and he is amazing.

Anyway, Clarke was now realizing the deep, deep shit she had put herself into. Until now she had thought, or more precisely, managed to convince herself she could put an end to whatever she had with Lexa easily, as easily as solving a preschool math problem like an apple plus another apple kinda thing. But after last night she couldn't fool herself anymore. Now she knew she wouldn't be able to forget that delighting, nostalgic feeling of ease she felt, the soothing rhythm of Lexa's heartbeat, her caring eyes and caresses.

She had been right to run to Lexa last night, the woman had been exactly what she needed. But as Abby Griffin had repeated to her daughter since she was a babe : 'You cannot miss something you never experienced. It's easier to never start smoking than trying it out and having to stop'. Clarke had felt guilty when she smoke her first cigarette, thinking about her mom's words but nothing more and had proven her wrong two years later when she woke up one morning, threw all the packets she had left to the trash and never smoke a cigarette again since then. It had been the same with weed and alcohol. She had never really been tempted by stronger drugs but she was pretty sure it would be the same, that she was immune to dependence.

Until now.

Clarke could feel it in her every bone, her every cell. She was screwed. It was bad because she couldn't stop this. Not after Lexa had opened to her. Not after she had experienced the woman's lips on her skin. Not after...

Clarke sat on the bed with a growl, punching a pillow. “Why did she have to tell me she love me ! Stupid Lexa !” she mumbled through gritted teeth as she felt hot boiling blood creep to her cheeks.

Clarke swallowed and decided she'd be reasonable, adult, careful and would just put on the clothes Lexa lent her and she'd take the bus and go home without turning back. She nodded to herself. She could do it. She could fight it.

She dressed quickly and stormed in the kitchen. And her determination deflated like an old balloon.

'I can't do it.' she stated to herself when her eyes fell on Lexa's perfect silhouette, turning her back to her. A Lexa she had never seen, one with messy hair, Stitch socks and most of all, relaxed. And fuck she shouldn't be allowed to wear sweatpants like these or any material able to hug her as tightly and perfectly as that. And Clarke didn't know who had thought it would be a good idea to invent a tank top showing such huge portion of shoulder blades but she was grateful. The view was priceless. Clarke bit her tongue and, her decision entirely forgotten she approached.

As usual without even looking at her Lexa just said “Take a seat please, I'm almost done.” and only then Clarke noticed the sweet smell. She peeked over the woman's shoulder and recognized the frying pan the brunette had so angrily brandished the day before.

Pancakes. Home made pancakes.

Damn, when was the last time ? As she moved to the table and sat, she remembered. “Mom used to cook us pancakes the mornings after my dad had came back home.” The blonde smiled “I remember that time when I smelled the pancakes from my room, meaning that dad was home. I was so eager that I stumbled on my own feet in the kitchen and fell on the tiles. Aaaand I broke my nose.” Clarke laughed at the thought, touching her nose where the bone had once been cracked (and hurt as hell). Clarke lost herself in her childhood memory, reliving things she had thought forgotten.

A plate with a way too big pile of pancakes covered in syrup appeared on the table in front of the blonde, efficiently dragging her out of her thoughts. She looked up at Lexa and frowned “And you ?”

“I'm not hungry. Coffee is needed though.” said returning to her counter to fill the biggest mug Clarke had ever seen. And the cutest too. Adorable Bambi shouldn't be allowed either.

Lexa then joined the girl at the table and explained “When I was still living at Anya's place, I couldn't sleep well because her husband is damn noisy at night and I was always bringing coffee to school. A student noticed the alarming amount of caffeine I was drinking and how I always filled my cup to the brim, spilling some on myself sometimes. The kid's dad was an artist and my student was quite good at it too. He made this mug for me. I don't drink that much coffee now so I'm only using it in special occasions, when I feel like my metabolism won't survive without this weird drug.”

Only then Clarke realised the dark skin under Lexa's smiling eyes. Now that she was thinking about it her own face may look worse. After all she cried last night she was surprised she hadn't died of dehydration yet.

She finally took a bite from her breakf- her lunch and damn she had missed it. She hummed at the taste and saw Lexa smirk from behind her mug. Clarke cursed to herself, scolding her heart for being so stubborn in pointing out her weaknesses.

She ate in silence while Lexa was drinking her coffee. Clarke felt like she had so many things to say, so many stories to tell, so many words that she couldn't dare letting out of her mouth. When she put her fork on her empty plate Lexa broke the silence with a soft but serious “You have to call your mother.”

Something roared inside of Clarke and her words broke free before she had the time to think them through. “She doesn't care anyway. Not even sure she noticed.”

“Clarke...” Lexa warned and Clarke sighed.

“I want her to worry at least a little. Just take me home and I'll deal with her face to face. If I do it on the phone I won't be able to stay calm and find the motivation to go home.” The woman seemed so serious, her gaze lost in the black liquid at the bottom of her mug that Clarke couldn't help but fear she would say no.

“Fine.” Lexa finally said and the blonde relaxed. “But I want something in exchange.” Clarke's eyebrows shot up in surprise and she just nodded, waiting for the woman to voice her thoughts. “How did you know where I live ?”

Clarke gulped audibly. She had wished the woman wouldn't ask but of course, of course she did. The blonde cleared her throat “Well I may or may not have followed you home one day when I was bored...”

“Clarke !”

The girl decided to be honest “I'm sorry ok ? I was just bored and I wanted to see where you lived that's all.” but not honest enough to admit that she had came back a few times to take pictures of Lexa, playing detective. Or stalker.

Lexa sighed loudly and stood. “I don't think I can fit your feet in any of my shoes so you'll take my slippers. I'm taking you home.”

Clarke nodded and stood, taking her plate and fork to the sink as Lexa disappeared in another room. When she came back she was dressed and let her 'The lion king' slippers fall in front of Clarke's feet. She took the blonde's hand and slipped a piece of paper in her palm. “To avoid finding you soaking my floor in the middle of the night again.” she said with a small smile.

Clarke took a rapid look at the paper and recognized the phone number. Of course the blonde already knew it thanks to Raven that had managed to crack Anya's phone a month ago but she wouldn't tell Lexa for sure.

“Come on. It's one pm already and I have work to do.” She heard Lexa call from the entry.

Clarke rolled her eyes. Always the same excuse. “Chill Principal, I'm coming.” she answered, smirking when she passed by the woman, earning a satisfying blush.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I will update as soon as I can BUT I can't tell you when. My exams are approaching really fast and I started another story (the title is in french) that I need to continue while also (slowly) rewriting 'In love with a dream'. In short, don't ask me when the next chap will be, I have no idea. I hope bEfore the end of march though... Or april ? I don't know really. My exams come first. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you liked it and I'm a sucker for your comments guys so please leave me a word or two ;)


	10. Something's changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyooooooone! I have a good and a bad news.   
> good news is : I am back on tracks! after having a lot of troubles with my writer block on this story, I'm finally back. Well I think.   
> bad news is : this story is coming to its end. I have something like 4 or 5 chapters left to write, probably around 5000 words each only. Next chapter is kind of a bonus one (for a friend of mine : spoiler alert, it has jealous Clarke) so it may be a little shorter. 
> 
> I will tell you the truth, this story went so far away from the path I had drawn for it when I wrote the first chapters that it is now really hard for me to write it. First because those characters are not the characters I created. Second because this kind of sweet love story, porn with little plot and feelings is just not me. It's hopefully turning more BDSM which is cool because I wanted to write some for a long while but still. I don't really like what I write anymore and if I'm going on with this it's because of you dear readers. Because this story is almost at its end (the ending will be kinda the same of what I had planned originally, which is weird when I think about it.) and because I want to give it the closure it deserves. Because I gave this fic everything I had for months, almost a year now and I want it done. So don't worry this story will end, soon hopefully. (If you want to read how Wicked Game should have been in the first place, read my other fic "You know why". It's not the same story but it expresses similar dynamics and the toxic universe I originally wanted for Wicked Game)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy what i wrote (I had to rush so I couldn't reread and fix my mistakes today, so sorry for the typos and little grammar problems you may find, I'll fix them later. I really wanted to post today so... yeah sorry)

"Clarke, you need- You need to- To stop doing that." the woman said, panting heavily from holding her breath for too long. Staying quiet while having someone between your legs should be a sport and if it was, by now Lexa would be a professional athlete.

 

"Why ?"

 

It cost her a lot of strength but Lexa managed to tilt her head forward – groaning at the loss of the back of her desk chair to hold it steady on her shoulders – to look down at the blonde licking her smirking lips.

 

"Because, and it's the truth, I have work."

 

Clarke rolled her eyes and sighed strongly. Strongly enough for Lexa to feel it on the sensitive skin of her inner thighs, sending a shiver run down her spine. "Seriously ? You're supposed to be in post orgasm bliss, enjoy." the blonde said, pulling up Lexa's panties "Lift." she commanded and in a superhuman effort the woman used the armrests to heave herself up enough for Clarke to slip her underwear back where it was supposed to be.

 

Lexa winced at the contact of the cold, wet material against her still overheated core but she pursued "Listen, Luna will be there next week and everything needs to be perfect. Problem is : nothing is. A pipe needs to be fixed, students need to behave," the woman eyed Clarke, scolding her silently as hard as she could but she all she earned were another eye roll and an order.

 

"Again." the blonde said, to put Lexa's jeans back on.

 

Lexa obeyed, not stopping her train of voiced thoughts "my budget problems need to be solved, and I need sleep." the woman concluded as her now clothed ass was reconecting with the comfortable leather seat (that she would have to disinfect at least twice when the blonde would finally leave her office). Lexa closed her eyes, leaning her head back on the chair's back, sighing in relief of not having to support her own weight anymore.

 

Clarke snorted "You don't sleep when I don't touch you." she said, standing only to straddle the seemingly dying woman.

 

"Yes I do."

 

"No you don't."

 

"Yes. I do."

 

"Tss, tss, tss. How many times will I have to tell you Lexa, do not lie to me." Clarke whispered against the skin of Lexa's exposed neck, before kissing the soft spot behind the woman's ear.

 

Lexa repressed a hum and swallowed hard. Two weeks had passed since Clarke had invited herself in her appartment and things had changed. Or not. Lexa wasn't sure if it was just her way to see things that had changed or if the girl's behavior was weird. While Clarke was still the one attacking she seemed nicer. No not nicer. Tender maybe? No it wasn't that either. Their interactions hadn't changed that much. Fists were still pulling at her hair and sometimes, the blonde would bite or pinch and hurt like she had always done. But something had changed. Maybe it was just Lexa's masochistic side making its coming out or... Or she had no idea. It was probably her. She was imagining things.

 

"I take roofies." It was a lie but it was better than admitting the girl was right.

 

Clarke chuckled low in Lexa's ear and the woman wished she didn't find it endearing. "So the mighty principal is into drugs now ?" the blonde pulled back and finally Lexa opened her eyes. As usual the girl was smirking but Lexa could swear there was something different. Or she was hallucinating which, in the actual post orgasm state of her brain, could very well be true.

 

'Damn.' she swore to herself. It was frustrating not to know if she was going crazy or something was indeed happening. 'Fuck.' she pushed the reflexion away, she was too tired for that now.

 

 

When Lexa looked at her, Clarke couldn't help but avert her eyes, focusing her attention on the woman's exposed torso instead. She put Lexa's bra back in place, finally hiding the two delicious nipples she wished she had been able to taste for a longer time. Just like she wished all of her meetings with Lexa could be longer. She bit her tongue and started to button up Lexa's shirt, trying not to think about the alarming amount of times she had peeled it off the woman in the past two weeks.

 

She tried to convince herself it was because she felt grateful. Grateful because when she had went home two weeks ago she had found her mother sitting on the couch, waiting for her. Her blood had been boiling inside her veins of course but she knew Lexa was right when she had told her to talk to her mother. She had sat next to the woman without a word and waited for her mother to scold her.

 

But the scold had never came.

 

Abby Griffin had just taken her daughter's hand and leaned her head on the girl's shoulder, taking Clarke by surprise. After a long moment finally her mother had talked. Told her she hadn't been able to sleep because she was too worried and guilty. Told her that she had fucked up big and appologized. Told her she wouldn't kill her dad in the end because she just couldn't do it. Told her she'd ask for a divorce and remarry Kane. And Told her that she would pay for Harvard.

 

Everything was taking an unexpected but wonderful turn and it was all thanks to Lexa. Thanks to the woman, Clarke's mother was at home more often, had started cooking again and she had even come at school to take her daughter back home twice. Unbelievable. It was going too well, and it felt weird. As if for the first time in five years everything was falling back into place, in this town Clarke never thought she'd love again.

 

So Clarke couldn't help it. Couldn't help the warm feeling in her chest whenever she thought about Lexa, or crossed paths with her in the corridors or just when she entered a room and she could smell her perfume, letting her know the woman had been here minutes ago. And she knew it. Deep down she knew it wasn't just gratitude and it scared her. She was too involved into something that could break Lexa's life. She was realising for the first time how wrong all of this was, how wrong and dangerous and she couldn't wait for her birthday to arrive. Only three weeks left of being underaged (not like it was the only problem but well... Being 18 was at least some improvement). On another hand she couldn't watch Lexa drown herself in her overly complicated thoughts and 'work' without doing anything. She knew by experience that the woman was dozing off easily and would always nap for at least half an hour after sex. A real man. Well, Clarke couldn't blame her though. She knew how it felt not to sleep at night and knew Lexa's restless mind was keeping her awake. Sex to lull. It was the good excuse Clarke had found herself to avoid the thought that she just wanted to fuck her principal.

 

By the time she was finished with the woman's shirt, Lexa had fallen asleep, head hanging on one side, mouth slightly open and Clarke knew she'd drool. The blonde fought back a laugh as she remembered the pictures she took of the sleeping woman the week before. The principal looked like a toddler when she slept and damn it was priceless.

 

She kissed Lexa's temple before standing, trying her best not to wake her up before exiting the room silently.

 

"It's still wrong you know ?"

 

Clarke jumped at the low voice, the one she hated the most in the world. She turned and sighed. Anya was leaned on the wall of the corridor, her arms crossed on her chest in a manner that pissed Clarke off beyond measure. "Anya. A pleasure as always." Clarke walked purposefully, planning on passing by the woman and just don't stop, don't turn back, ignore the annoying cousin.

 

"I don't like you."

 

"Feeling shared."

 

Anya snorted, stopping Clarke in her tracks. "I figured that much." The woman slowly unfolded her arms and walked to the blonde to look at her in the eyes. Clarke switched in angry mode and her body tensed. She didn't need that woman's face so close to hers. "You're a danger for her. If you have even the tiniest, lightest kind of sympathetic feeling for her, please put an end to this before you break her."

 

Clarke took a deep breath and held back a 'take care of your own ass bitch !' as she had decided to be polite. Because duh she'd be an adult soon. Well she needed to be one "I know what I'm do-"

 

"It will happen. In a way or another Clarke, it will happen and when it does even I won't be able to put the shattered pieces back together."

 

Clarke wanted to spit out something, snap back at the woman like she knew how to do but the words were stuck somewhere deep in her throat and her gaze lowered. She clenched her fists when Anya stepped back and left to lock herself in her office.

 

"Fuck." she stated "I'm not dumb bitch, I'm careful." Clarke raised her head then, decided to prove Anya how wrong she was, that she could make things work. Even if she had still no idea what 'things' referred to.

 

 

***

 

 

"Ok, that's all for today." Lexa yelled, desperately trying to cover the noise of the bell ringing and her students eagerly standing, way too happy to leave after the day. The principal didn't know why she kept doing this. Kept trying to talk after the bell had rang. After years of obtaining the exact same result. She shook her head, tidying up her desk, methodically putting all the papers together.

 

"Hey teach."

 

She jumped at the unexpected voice and couldn't help but look around to make sure nobody had noticed. Which, and she almost face palmed when she realised it, was useless. It is not weird for a teacher to talk with their students."Yes Clarke ?"

 

"I had to tell you that my mom would like to talk to you. About Harvard."

 

Lexa raised an eyebrow, relaxing, almost surprised by the casualness of the conversation. She smiled, happy that Abigail Griffin had finally agreed to let Clarke do what she wanted "Well she can call me and we'll see when we're both free." The blonde nodded and the teacher returned to her papers.

 

 

That was all Clarke had to say but she couldn't bring her feet to move. She couldn't take her eyes off Lexa. Why ? Why did she have to wear her glasses today... Glasses plus hair tightly pulled back in a few intricate braids. Glasses, hair plus leather skirt. And heels. It was like the perfect combo, the perfect cliche, the perfect fantasy and Clarke had to bite her tongue not to just throw the woman against a wall.

 

 

Lexa tilted her head up slightly and noticed something behind Clarke (that was still standing there for some unknown reason).The woman sighed and walked to Charlie's desk in a corner of the room. She bent down to pick up his vest. "How. How is he forgetting his vest every weEEk" The last word changed into a squeal when she felt two hands grope her ass. She turned to look behind her, eyes wide "Clarke what are you-"

 

 

The blonde didn't let Lexa the time to answer. She grabbed Lexa's hips and turned her around to kiss her, pushing the woman's ass into the desk behind her. 'Shit. I'm a dumbass.' she said to herself though unable of stopping. "Fuck" she whispered into Lexa's mouth as her hands slipped behind the woman's thighs to heave her up and sit her on the desk. The worst in this was that the damn brunette spread her legs and "Fuck" it was hot.

 

 

Clarke's palms found Lexa's bare thighs, slowly trailing up to slip under her skirt. The woman hummed low as the girl pushed her tongue inside her mouth to meet her own. God Clarke knew how to make her weak. It was her own fault this time though. She shouldn't have bent down in front of the blonde, lowered her guard. The guilt and regrets died fast however when Clarke racked her nails on Lexa's inner thighs, earning a loud moan. The woman knew better than touching Clarke so she just gripped the edges of the unsteady wooden desk of her student. The blonde's lips left Lexa's to trail open mouthed kisses along the woman's jaw before moving to the column of her throat. Lexa threw her head back almost out of reflex, offering Clarke better access. The blonde's hands left the woman's legs and Lexa couldn't hold back the whine of frustration that escaped her parted lips way too easily at the loss. Clarke started to unbutton the woman's shirt and Lexa's hands left the desk to help her in her task but the blonde grabbed her wrists to put her hands back on the wood. "Patience Lexa." she whispered in the woman's ear and suddenly Lexa didn't give a damn fuck anymore. The classes were over, the school would be entirely empty in less than ten minutes and there was no way anyone could-

 

"Thanks teach you're saving us."

 

A boy's voice said somewhere in the corridor and both girls froze, Clarke pulling back enough to look at Lexa, eyes as wide as the woman's.

 

"Shit !" they both whispered at the realisationg that the footsteps and voices were approaching.

 

"Hide !" Lexa spat out and Clarke bit her lips, looking around to find an escape. She ran to the window but no. From the second floor it would be suicide.

 

And Clarke remembered. She returned to Lexa that was failing at buttoning her shirt and grabbed her hand. "The closet ! Now !" she urged, leading Lexa to the back of the room. She searched in her backpack for her masterkey and almost squealed when she found it. Quickly she unlocked the janitor's closet and stepped inside, throwing her bag at her feet, pulling Lexa to her. Clarke closed the door of the closet as the room's was opening and she released a breath.

 

"Fuck ! Why are they here !?" Clarke whispered into Lexa's ear and the woman gulped.

 

 

Lexa had forgotten. Like, completely, entirely forgotten Indra's request of borrowing the classroom for a supplementary class. "I forgot I lent her the room." The woman answered in the same quiet voice. But it wasn't so bad. They had managed to hide which was a good th- "Wait, why am I hiding too !?"

 

"Oh please you're half naked and red as a cooked crab."

 

Lexa felt her already hot cheeks burn even more at the thought of what would've happened if Clarke hadn't hid her too. The woman couldn't believe she was grateful for being locked in a dark, tiny and dusty closet with Clarke. Clarke pressed flushed against her body. Clarke pressed flushed against her body with one of her legs between her own and her face in the crook of her neck. Lexa took a deep breath, already feeling the air heating up. They were lucky in their misfortune though, at least the closet was empty. Which was weird. And then it hit her.

 

"Clarke don't tell me you know why this closet is empty..." Lexa almost growled. Clarke stayed silent and put some distance between them, leaning against the wall behind her. "Clarke..." Lexa insisted and finally the blonde gave up.

 

"Well... Don't be mad but... A few months ago I emptied it for, you know, just in case I had the occasion to- I mean, I wanted us to- I had a plan and all but I realised it would have been too dangerous and I gave up. And forgot about it."

 

Lexa sighed heavily. She couldn't see in what fucking in a closet would be less dangerous than fucking in the toilets but that wasn't the question here. "Never thought I'd say that but... Good call."

 

The tiny space was dark but Lexa's eyes were starting to get used to it and the light entering through the small gaps at the door's edges was enough for her to distinguish the girl's features. The blonde was looking at her, her gaze roaming over her body, making Lexa even hotter than she was. She realised that her shirt was almost entirely open and her skirt was way too up her thighs. Lexa swallowed hard as a wave of arousal washed through her. "We- We can't do anything Clarke." she whispered, for the girl or herself, at this point she wasn't sure.

 

"I know." Clarke answered, bitting her lip. Of course they couldn't do anything. They had never been so close to get busted. To think not even twenty four hours ago the blonde had promised to herself she'd be careful... But no. She would stay calm. She wouldn't do anything and make Anya's point a good one. She'd be a grown up who can keep her hands to herself.

 

Maybe.

 

It would he hard, Clarke realised. It would be hard because Jesus fucking Christ Lexa was hot. On all meanings of the word. The temperature had raised in no time in the tiny space and, added to the rush of adrenaline they had went through, a sheen layer of sweat was covering the woman's tone body, her still heaving chest and exposed abdomen. Clarke wanted to touch and lick and bite everywhere she could. The girl had always had a strong appetite when it came to forbidden things like the cookie jar on top of the fridge that belonged to Kane or a certain principal. But never had she craved Lexa so much. Result of the event Clarke was trying not to think about or the simple fact that this situation is one of the most dangerously exciting she had ever been in, she didn't know. What she knew though was her needs, clear as crystal and that she couldn't cut them loose. If she did, surely the others in the room would know and they'd both get in trouble and Lexa would get thrown in jail and-

 

"Clarke?"

 

Jerking out of her crazy thoughts, the blonde shook her head and her eyes met Lexa's "What?"

 

"Your hand..."

 

Clarke looked down only to discover that her wild hand didn't receive the memo Reason sent. Spread shamelessly on Lexa's toned stomach, Clarke seemed to be waiting for a signal, the authorisation the girl was decided not to give.

 

"Oh fuck, I- I'm sorry I didn't want to-" But then Clarke looked up into pitch black eyes underlined by an impressively blush. The girl knew those eyes, they were those Lexa had whenever she said 'Clarke don't' and thought 'Please don't stop'. "Fuck." In a swearword Clarke's determination happily jumped out the window.

 

 

At Clarke's appologies, Lexa had thought that the girl would stop touching her, that she understood the risks. But Clarke didn't. Her hand started to slowly carress her sweaty skin, drawing random patterns. It was a nice touch and the blonde seemed lost somewhere else. But then she looked back at Lexa, swore and her hand expertly slipped under the woman's bra to squeeze her breast, almost hurting. Lexa let out a loud gasp at the unexpected attack, her hands spreading flat on the wooden wall behind her then balling into fists when a soft thumb rubbed her too hard nipple. How was it so hard already?

 

Without prior notice, Clarke threw her body against Lexa's to crash her lips on the woman's. The brunette's head bumped into the wood in a soft thud. Immediately Clarke pulled back a little and for a moment, they both stopped breathing, Lexa trying to hear throught the loud pulse in her ears. While incapable of knowing which class it was, at least the woman coud tell that it was going on as if nothing happened, seemingly in another world.

 

 

At the thud, Clarke's heart had stopped dead in her chest. She had pictured Indra opening the door and calling her parents, her mother that would surely sue Lexa in justice. But as she listened and the class appeared unaffected, she relaxed. And then the unexpected, the surreal happened. Lexa caught her eyes and nodded firmly before leaning in and kissing Clarke with force. Unbelievable. And terribly satisfying. Lexa had just destroyed the few pieces of reason still alive in the girl's head.

 

Clarke smirked and pushed forward, taking Lexa's lower lip between her own and biting down hard, not caring for the mark she'd leave. Her other hand joined its twin on the woman's chest, pushing the lacey material up to cup Lexa's other breast. Pinching both nipples, Clarke pulled back a little, Lexa's lip still captive of her teeth, forcing a soft whimper out of the woman.

 

When finally Clarke released her lip, Lexa let out a loud, frustrated breath and out of animalistic reflex, she chased the girl's mouth with her own, dying to have it back on hers. But Clarke dodged, pulling back further and wrapping a hand around Lexa's throat to keep her in place. Clarke grinned like a wolf and leaned in, nose touching Lexa's, breath grazing the woman's lips, but mouth inches from where the brunette wanted it. Lexa tried to reach out but the grip around her throat tightned, hand steady and strong as usual.

 

"I thought I trained you well principal," the blonde whispered "but it seems you didn't learn your lesson for today's test. I'm afraid I will have to punish you."

 

Lexa shivered from head to toe and the whimper that escaped her widely parted lips was made voiceless by training, months of sex in public places, their current situation entirely forgotten. Clarke smirked her usual perverted smirk and a wave of heat washed through Lexa's body at what she knew would come. She could feel them, the symtoms of her anticipation. She could feel the electricity in her nerves, the wetness between her legs, the way her sex throbbed like the need in her head. And somehow, the shame was abscent. And Lexa realised. That's what changed. That shameful feeling was gone, only leaving behind the delicious fear of being exposed, being busted of course but most of all showing herself as what she'd become, as the woman so wet for her student, for Clarke that the itch to touch herself was almost unbearable. But Lexa knew the rules, no touching, her hands must stay far from Clarke's body or her own or else... Else she'd get hurt.

 

 

Slowly, delicately, the way Clarke knew Lexa hated, the girl released her grip on the woman's throat only to graze reddened, tortured skin with her fingertips. She saw Lexa close her eyes and shiver in answer, goosebumps blooming on her skin and... Hands reached out to grab Clarke's t-shirt, fisting at the material and pulling it up. Well that was new. Hesitant slender hands sliped under the girl's cloth and spread on her sides. Clarke thought more amusing to see how bold the woman would get than stop her immediately like she'd do in one of her usual play so she let Lexa do as she pleased.

 

What Clarke hadn't thought about is that Lexa was far from a virgin. She had almost been married, had experience. Obviously realising that authorisation had been granted to her, somehow, confidence flood back in the woman's deft hands that Clarke felt slowly trail up her sides then on the front of her ribcage. The blonde was rarely on the receiving end and there was a reason. She had trust issues of course but most importantly, she was very attached to her dom acting, owned it, mastered it, loved it so when her overly sensitive skin played against that and Clarke lost every bit of control she ever had, that role she was so fond of, dropped. This time was worse than that. It was worse because an older woman, her principal, Lexa dressed as the perfect fantasy teacher (that Clarke couldn't believe was real), this very person's hands were burning her skin, melting her flesh and warming up her entire body in less time than the girl would ever admit. When the woman reached Clarke's breasts and gently cupped them, the girl repressed a moan and decided that it was enough.

 

 

Lexa didn't miss the way Clarke closed her eyes, the stiffled sound at the back of her throat and of course how surprisingly hard were her nipples against her palms. Delighted by this new discovery, the woman pushed her primary goal aside to find out what else she could get from Clarke. But her exploration stopped on the spot as the blonde strongly grabbed wrists, pushing them down and away from the girl's appealing body. When the woman looked up, Clarke's grin was back. She placed Lexa's hands on her butt and pressed them hard against her soft bosom, so soft the brunette couldn't help but squeeze.

 

Clarke smirked wildly and leaned closer, releasing Lexa's wrists from her iron grip. "My, my, how naughty. How does it feels principal?" then in Lexa's ear she whispered "How does it feels to willingly, greedily fondle one of your student's body?"

 

At that a nostalgic spike of guilt stabbed Lexa's chest. But she knew Clarke's tricks, knew that she had crossed the line the very first time, that very first time she let the blonde chastely rest her lips on her own for a too long moment. So Lexa gulped it down, her pride, her shame, her guilt, she drank it all, freed her throat from any obstacle that could entrave her confession.

 

Brushing her cheek against Clarke's, she answered in a breath "Good."

 

 

 _Oh my sweet fucking godness._ Now the blonde was sure of it, it was all a dream. She should have known. There is no way Lexa would say something like that, no way a simple word could set Clarke's body aflame, make her shudder from head to toe with proud satisfaction and burning pleasure. But even if it was a dream, the girl was decided to lead it to its end, make its climax as amazing as the rest.

 

Grinning larger, Clarke whispered "Good answer." and without any more teasing, the blonde pulled up the woman's skirt entirely and pressed her thigh hard between Lexa's legs. A loud gasp in her ear was the blonde's reward but Clarke wasn't finished. On the same tone she ordered "Grind."

 

 

Lexa gulped. She had almost moaned at the simple contact of Clarke's clothed thigh against her slick lacey underwear and now the blonde wanted her to move? That would never do. "C- Clarke, I can't."

 

The girl pulled back, her face the expression of serious unquestionable authority, one Lexa had seen and lost against so many times. The moment the angry dark gaze of Clarke met the woman's, Lexa knew fighting back was useless. But as the brunette was considering obbeying without any more words, Clarke insisted "I said grind." Then without warning she grabbed Lexa's hips and pulled them to her in one quick move, dragging the woman's clothed sex on the length of her thigh.

 

One of Lexa's hands flew to her mouth just in time to muffle a shriek of surprise and pleasure. Eyes closed and head thrown back, the woman took a deep breath, concentrating in keeping her voice low, refocusing on keeping control of her vocal chords. But Clarke probably didn't care about that. She took both of Lexa's arms and wrapped them around her neck. With two fingers, she took the woman's chin and pulled down, forcing Lexa to open her eyes and look down. Clarke smirked then reached up, connecting her lips with the brunette's before taking hold of Lexa's hips once more and pushing them away, then pulling again.

 

Again holding back her voice was a challenge for Lexa as the blonde's grip on her hips hurt in the most delicious way and the pressure between her legs pleasurable but not quite enough yet. Clarke repeated the operation once more before Lexa retaliated entirely. She wanted more, more pressure, more strength in the hands holding her steady. So she did as ordered and, using Clarke's shoulders as leverage, she finally grind her dripping core against the girl's thigh. She moaned silently in Clarke's mouth, exhaling loudly from her nose. Slow at first, her pace picked up quickly and soon her hips were working on their own, humping, thrusting back and forth while her embrace around the girl's shoulders tightened.

 

 

Damn the woman had strength. It was hard for Clarke to stay steady with the repeated assault of Lexa's pelvis and in the small space they were trapped in the heat had become unbearable. If this went on, Clarke was sure people would notice them not because of the endearing little noises being born and killed in the back of Lexa's throat but by the heat the closet was probably radiating. With Lexa's burning body pressed flush against her own, the overheated damp air, and the woman's mouth on her lips, it was hard for Clarke to breath. She could feel her hair and clothes cling to her skin with sweat but surprisingly she didn't mind. On the contrary, she pushed against the woman harder, taking back her power on their kiss by biting down Lexa's tongue and pulling it out of her mouth, earning a whimper. But most of all, Clarke was incredibly turned on. She knew by the oversensitivity of her sex that she was assuredly dripping wet, her own core throbbing in need that each movement of the other woman's hips accentuated. Lexa's motion could have been source of release somehow since every time she pressed their hips back together, the woman's own thigh met Clarke's crotch but it was the opposite. Each brush was sweet teasing, one the girl wasn't used too and soon she was panting in Lexa's mouth as much as the woman was in her own.

 

 

When Clarke's hands had went to Lexa's ass, the woman didn't know. All she knew was that they were squeezing hard, accompanying her every movement, encouraging them while angry lips were devouring her own, teeth biting and mouth sucking at her tongue as if they'd been made for that purpose only. And Lexa eagerly drowned in it all, in this overwhelming mix of sensations and the total abscence of that little voice in her head telling her that it's wrong. With each jerk of hips it was thousands of sparks travelling from her engorged clit to the nape of her neck through her spine, it was waves and waves of hot pleasure washing through her entire body, to the very tip of her fingers tangled in damp blond hair. She could feel her own wetness on her inner thighs and sip through her panties and probably Clarke's jeans. And soon it's her climax that she felt arriving, a strong orgasm that would make her scream, one she felt like holding back for an important reason she'd forgotten. What was it again? At a hard thrust of Clarke's hips the question vanished in hot mist. If it was important she'd remember. No reason to hold back.

 

"Clarke, I'm comming!" Lexa finally moaned out when the girl's lips left her own to trail messy half bite half kisses down the column of her throat.

 

Clarke groaned in the grook of her neck then growled "Yes, come for me principal, come for your student!"

 

The blonde bit down on Lexa's neck and the woman fell of the edge, moaned her climax loudly, mouth gaping open and eyes tightly closed. Her hips movements made erratic by her pleasure, never stopped, helped by Clarke's hands, making her orgasm last as long as possible. After a mind numbing, delicious moment, as she was coming down from her high, Lexa felt her world turn upside down, for a moment convinced that her weak, trembling legs had given up their excrutiating fight.

 

 

Clarke was ready to catch Lexa if she fell. Or so she thought. The woman suddenly lost her balance and fell on the side, taking the girl down in her fall. Their shoulders both collided with the door and forced it open. They crashed on the ground in a loud thud and wild shrieks. Clarke bumped her forehead on the ground near Lexa's head and groaned in pain. A pain that somehow kicked back some sense in her foggy heated mind. The blonde's heart stopped dead in her chest and she raised on all four in a breath.

 

"The class!" she shouted, looking around like a deer searching for the hunter it knows is there, somewhere behind a bush. But to Clarke's surprise and relief, the room was empty of any other soul than Lexa's, a spider's and her own. In a loud sigh the blonde let herself slump down on the body underneath her that groaned in response. Again Clarke pulled herself up in panic "Lexa! I'm sorry are you ok?" the blonde asked, patting the woman everywhere she could.

 

 

Still in post orgasm bliss (as Clarke would say), it took a long moment for Lexa's brain to reconnect with reality. When it did though, her eyes opened wide and she gripped at the girl's shoulders "And the class!?"

 

Clarke smiled, obviously relaxed "We're alone. They're gone." Lexa released the blonde's shoulders and took a moment to cool down. Clarke sat on Lexa's lap, asking again "Are you ok? I feel on you."

 

Lexa squirmed and wiggled each limb to make sure she was fine. She discovered that besides a certain throbbing pain at her neck, there was none to point out. Except maybe some unexplained tension in her left ankle. Lexa tried to move it but it was harder and hurt slightly. She sat up, furrowed and looked over Clarke's shoulder to discover that the heel of her left shoe was missing.

 

"It seems I broke a heel."

 

Clarke snorted "If it's just that it's fine I guess." the girl smiled. She cupped Lexa's cheeks and bent down to kiss her. The woman kissed her back, spreading her hands on the girl thighs then jerking them away, pulling back.

 

"What is it?" Clarke asked, brows furrowed in unhidden displeasure. Lexa didn't answer but pointed to one of the girl's legs. The patch was huge. Almost the entire length of Clarke's thigh actually. The blonde smiled and shrugged then grabbed Lexa by the nape of her neck to crash her lips on hers.

 

But a few seconds later the woman pulled back again "You have to wash this."

 

 

Clarke rolled her eyes "Can we pretend it's water?" the woman raised an eyebrow at how dumb the proposition was, and the girl agreed. Never water on cloth had glistened like a mirror the way Clarke's pants now did, and if she waited for it to dry, it'd leave obvious white stains on hardened cloth that she would have a hard time explaining. Already she was reviewing all the answers she could give. Unwiped yoghurt stain? No there is no way Clarke would spill that on her without wiping it and try to make it disappear. Dog saliva? Ew no, Abby knew that Clarke would rather walk around in underwear than wear pants with dog something on it.

 

Vanquished, Clarke sighed "Fine." but she wasn't entirely done. She kissed Lexa again, slowly, wrapping her arms around the woman's neck, then faster, hungrier, pursuing somehow where she had left off. Without even calculating it, she gave a short thrust of her hips, suddenly reminded of how sexually frustrated she was. She had been about to get off when they fell after all. Lexa moaned in Clarke's mouth, somehow encouraging the girl to continue.

 

*BZZ. BZZ*

 

Clarke jumped and squealed at the weird feeling of her phone vibrating in her back pocket. Groaning, she tore her lips away from the woman's, angry at whoever dared to cockblock her. She took her phone out and threw a quick look at the screen. "Shoot."

 

"What is it?"

 

"It's mom. She made dinner tonight, we're supposed to eat together and... I think I may be late."

 

"Time to go home then." the woman answered with a too meaningful smile.Clarke felt her cheeks heat up a little and she rolled her eyes, out of habit.

 

She kissed Lexa one last time before standing. She extended a hand to the woman who was kicking her shoes off. "Can you stand?"

 

 

"I think so." Lexa answered, taking the girl's hand. She stood in a swift move and moved her ankle. It hurt a little and it would burn for sure tomorrow but for now she could walk and drive.

 

"Want me to call someone?"

 

Lexa smiled and shook her head "No, it's ok. I'm used to it. I always sprain my ankles. I have shoes in my office."

 

Clarke nodded "Good. Ok so I guess I'm gonna go to the toilets and try to make your lovely sexual juices look like dried yoghurt."

 

 

Lexa's cheeks flushed bright red at Clarke's remark and the girl smirked. _It's too easy_. And it wasn't fair either. It wasn't just Lexa's slick, staining, no, probably ruining these jeans. Clarke would have more difficulties to explain the state of her underwear and crotch area of her pants than the mess Lexa made.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? A lot changed don't you think? What do you think is coming? (Yes, pun intended of course who do you think I am?) 
> 
> tell me everything you think about, about this fic or the odd tiny scar in shape of a snail that you have on your right buttcheek, I don't care I'm not picky. 
> 
> No seriously how was it?


	11. IMPORTANT author's note. As in read it guys

Okay so you know I love you guys, you're all amazing, your support is priceless, your comments my drug, and I am very gratefulto you all. 

BUT

I would appreciate if you didn't ask me when I will update or if I am continuing this fic, at least not in the comment sectionof my chapters. I am aware I don't update this fic often, that you're waiting after it but I have a life and WG's chaps tend to be always longer than planned. I have already explained in notes that it is now hard for me to write this story because I'm not interested in it anymore. Last chapter was a challenge for me to write and make it good. I am struggling this time too and it annoys me a lot believe me. 

I would like you to know something else. If I am slow it is because I want to giveyou guys quality. I WILL finish this fic (next person who asks me if I'll continue this fic, I swear imma kill a kitten) but it will take time because I'm trying to make each chapter the best possible. I am also working on other fics thzt may not interess you but that I LOVE to write, fics that are important to me which is also why I am slow on this one.

ONE LAST THING

I am writing for myself first and while I owe you communication and an ending, if I don't feel like writing, I won't force myself, if you want to read something I don't want to write, I won't write it. I respect you all, my dear readers and I thank you for your support, some of you have been following this story for a year now and it's legit amazing, so much I still can't realise it entirely. But as I said, I have a life. While I would ADORE living from writing books, I can't. If some of you took the time to read my notes, I am french and I am still a student and my life has been a little chaotic last year (depession and all). I would like you to realise that I am human and writing is not my main activity so comments like 'are you continuing this' or 'when will you update' are... first pressuring, second a little rude since I've already explained a lot about myself in comments or notes and third, annoying when you receive a lot of them. Some of you are really nice and polite when they ask and it warms my heart but random 'update please' are nit pleasant to receive. Plus the comment section is not a place to talk about those things, I have a tumblr and the address is everywhere so yeah... use it please.

 

So I will humbly ask you, dear readers, to either stop asking me about updates OR, if you REALLY feel like you NEED TO, do it on tumblr. Again I love you all but I am bad at dealing with pressure and these comments are killing me. please be nice guys, I am working on the next chap that is already 5000 words but I am far to be finished with it, and the smut part hasn't even started! I have 5 dialogues left to write before the smut so yes, it will take time. But I'm doing my best. 

Thanks for reading guys <3


	12. My computer died so that'd why I'm late

Ok so I'm tired of publishing notes and no updates so I didn't think I'd post one this time too but as time passes I think I owe you explanations. 

You know how cats are assholes? Well my nice little kitty named Angel (ahem) jumped on my closed laptop. It's a computer tablet so the screen is basically a tablet and when I opened my dear laptop the screen was cracked. It was still working normally so I thought 'meh, it's annoying but I can still write at least' and then 3 days later the laptop wouldn't turn on. I took it back to the shop so that they can fix it. They said 'you'll get it back in ten days.' I've been waiting for a month. 

One could think that of course since I have my tablet I can write on tablet but all my 'in progress' chapters stayed in the laptop... I'm trying to write a bit, like, one scene here, some smut there but I just HATE to write on tablet. It's such a pain in my ass it's very hard for me to put my mind into writing. I handwrite too but I can't write details o rework on texts like I wuld want to. 

Anyway, I'm stuck until my computer is back home. I am very very very sorry about that, but if you hafe to blame someone, blame my cat. Seriously this computer got fixed last year too (at the same period strangely...) and I'm starting to be tired of it. Because my bday is jan 31th I asked my parents if I could get a new laptop for christmass/bday and they said yes! So this hell will end soon I hope.

In any case, I am sorry and hope you will forgive me. I hate it when I can't write at all but believe me I do what I can.

See you guys soon I hope

Camille

**Author's Note:**

> Wanna talk to me ? Come find me here http://mimillekoishi.tumblr.com/


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